


Trying

by we-should-buckle-some-swash (Aculsemy)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-16 15:58:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 62,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3494306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aculsemy/pseuds/we-should-buckle-some-swash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Swan - Emma and Killian are both trying to make their relationship work, but it's not easy. To make matters even more difficult, there's still that pesky Snow Queen to deal with! Set around the time of S04x5, there's canon divergence, angst, and fluff. Rated M for romance and violence in later chapters. Posted under the same name on FFN</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted under the same title on FFN  
> Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own any of the characters from OUAT!

 

Emma flipped through the pages, growing more impatient with each unsuccessful minute. She rubbed her temple with her free hand, feeling like it was only a matter of time before she went cross-eyed. She knew that the Snow Queen knew who she was, and she was tired of being one step behind her. More importantly, she was tired of being in the dark to whatever the Queen's plan was. She wanted to be proactive, but for now she was stuck thumbing through dusty town records, hoping an answer would jump out at her. The Sheriff's office was quiet, save for the occasional flipping of pages and the silence was deafening.

"This is pointless," Elsa said, her sudden declaration making Emma jump. "We should be out looking for Anna, not wasting our time in here."

"I know it seems like that now, but we need to get a handle on who this Snow Queen is and where she came from," Emma said with a small smile, trying to keep her own frustration at their lack of progress hidden. "We will find her Elsa. I promise. Besides, we've almost through all the files…"

"Afraid not love," Killian interrupted as he entered the Sheriff's office. He strutted over to the desk where Emma sat and dropped the two boxes he was carrying onto the desk, a cloud of dust billowing from the impact.

"Please tell me **those** are the last boxes at least?" Emma groaned. Her eyes drifting from the boxes to Killian, seemingly of their own accord. Killian was distracted brushing dust off of his hand and clothes, so Emma indulged herself and freely surveyed the pirate's new wardrobe. It was certainly a change, but his look was still very _him_. Not for the first time, Emma found herself wondering what he was still doing here. This pencil pushing was about as far from his typically adventure filled lifestyle as you could get, yet here he remained, fetching records with a smile on his face.

"Your father has a couple more in his vessel," Killian said. "But then, aye, that's the last of what was in the locker." He caught her looking at him and smiled widely at her, his eyes crinkling. "See something you like there, Swan?"

Emma felt a blush creeping up into her face, so she bit her lip and looked back down at the pages in front of her, grateful that her long hair shielded her face. Luckily for her, David pushed open the door with a clatter, obviously struggling with stack of boxes he was carrying. Seeing an escape from Hook's leading question, Emma jumped up and jogged the short distance to the door. She grabbed a box off of the top of the pile, catching the door with her foot. David smiled at her and nodded in thanks as he moved past her, eager to drop off the remaining tower of boxes.

Emma turned to follow him, and knocked into Hook, who had moved soundlessly behind her. His hand covered hers, a small smile beginning from the corner of his mouth and he motioned towards the box. "Let me love, it's bad form to sit idly while a princess does heavy lifting." He raised his eyebrow and slowly, almost imperceptibly, traced his thumb over the back of her hand.

Emma felt her heart beating in her throat and the temperature in the Sheriff's office was suddenly oppressively hot. _How does he do this to me? Every time?!_ Only Killian could reduce her behaviour to that of a lovestruck teenager - well maybe _love_ wasn't the right word; they had only been on that one date after all. She learned closer to him, the dusty box the only thing keeping their bodies separate. Killian licked his lips, clearly expecting a kiss in payment for his chivalry.

"True, but you forget, this isn't the Enchanted Forest and I'm not some dainty princess," She said with a smirk as she pulled her hands and the box out of his grasp. "I can manage, thanks."

Killian looked surprised by her words, and she saw a flicker of hurt in his expressive blue eyes. "Aye, I know you're more than capable," He whispered grabbing her arm gently, turning her to face him. "Just because you can manage alone, doesn't mean you have to."

"Killian, I didn't -" Emma started and then stopped, her words failing her. They seemed to be doing that more and more when she was face to face with this captain.

Elsa cleared her throat, interrupting their banter, "And when we are out of these files, what do we do then?" She asked impatiently. Emma gave her head a shake, and pulled away from Hook. She felt his eyes searching hers as his arm dropped back to his side, but she ignored him. She didn't have time to play these games with Hook. _I am the Saviour for Christ's sake!_ She knew she had to get it together.

"Hopefully we've found what we need before then," David said eyeing the last box as Emma placed it on the desk. "And then we can go from there."

From the disgruntled look on Elsa's face, it appeared that she felt the same way about their plan as Emma did. Elsa opened her mouth to say something, then seemed to think the better of it. Instead she reached for another box and carried it back over to the desk where she was sitting and plopped back down onto the chair.

Emma sighed. If they still had all these boxes to get through, she was going to need more caffeine. Some fresh air and a break from Hook probably wouldn't hurt either. "I'm going to _Granny's_ on a coffee run," she said pulling on her leather coat. "Anyone else want something?" Elsa and David quickly declined the offer, already enthralled in the task at hand. Emma turned and looked at Hook, questioningly.

"I fancy a sip of something, though I am not sure what," He said with a slight smirk. "I'll accompany you and decide on the way." Emma groaned inwardly. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy his company, more like she enjoyed it _too much_.

"You can text me your order when you decide," She offered quickly, already heading towards the door.

"Trying to get rid of me are you love?" he said already hot on her heels. She knew without looking that while his tone was playful, his brow was probably knit with fear that they had fallen back into their old pattern. His persistent advances and her shutting him out.

"No," She said, over her shoulder. "Just thought you might be tired after all the _heavy lifting,_ " she said imitating his voice and inflection to tease him. _Just like her_ , she thought. _Keep it light and playful, nothing too serious_.

"I cannot even begin to imagine a state wherein I would be so fatigued that I would pass at even a moment in your company," He said, to Emma's surprise without either his signature smirk or raised brow. But she had guessed correctly, and saw the worry brewing beneath the surface of his calm exterior. He hurried a couple steps ahead and held the door open for her.

"Always the gentleman," Emma muttered under her breath, a slight smile on her lips before she could help it. "Be right back guys!" She called over her shoulder to David and Elsa.

She would have sworn that she felt David's exaggerated eye roll from across the room. "Don't take too long!" He called after them as the door banged shut behind them. While David made it clear he had no objections to whatever was going on between Hook and Emma, he also made it clear that it was not something he was comfortable discussing. _Hey_ , thought Emma. _No complaints here_. Out of all the possible scenarios, her father's feigned indifference to her relationship with a scoundrel was by far one of the best outcomes.

"You know Swan," Hook said, falling into step beside her, his hand in his pocket. "If I didn't know better, I would say you're trying to avoid me."

"I'm not avoiding you," Emma began, her breath visible in the crisp afternoon. She hugged her arms closer to her torso for warmth. She wasn't sure if it was the work of the Snow Queen or Mother Nature, but Storybrooke was getting downright chilly.

"You see the thing is Swan, I am actually quite perceptive," He turned in front of Emma, stopping and blocking her path. He reached for her hand. "And you most definitely are avoiding me, and brushing me off, and making excuses to not even be in the same bloody room as me, and-"

"I know," Emma said softly, cutting him off. He looked momentarily stunned that she had agreed with him. She laced her fingers with his. Touching his skin, hell just his hand, was electrifying. "I am avoiding you, but I don't want to."

"Then bloody don't Emma," Hook huffed. "I'm not asking for anything you can't give love," He said more softly. His gaze piecing her. "Just that you talk to me. I thought…"

"I know," Emma said again, this time more insistently. She grabbed his collar with her free hand and pulled him close to her. The heat radiating off of Hook quickly making her forgot her earlier concern about Storybrooke's temperature. "I'm trying," She whispered against his lips. His eyes searched hers, trying to read her like a book as he so often did. The faint smell of leather, rum and the sea washed over Emma. It, _he_ , was intoxicating. She pulled him even closer and kissed him, tentatively. Killian's free arm reached around her and pulled her body closer to his. Their hands, still locked together, crushed between them. Killian wasted no time in deepening the kiss. His tongue caressing her lips and then slipping into her eager mouth. Emma moaned into him and she felt his smile against her lips, glad to have gotten a reaction out of her. Emma felt herself getting lost in the moment, getting lost in _him_ , so she forced herself to pull away, while she still could. This wasn't how she had wanted this conversation to go.

"Killian," she said, breathless. He looked back at her, his eyes dark like sea, and full of desire. His face flush from their kiss. "It's just that when I am around you, all I can think about is you. And your eyes, and your lips and…" she bit her lip playfully and batted her eyelashes. "It's too much."

"Now Swan, I fail to see how that is even close to a problem," Killian growled, pushing her against the side of the building. He kissed her below her ear and trailed kisses and playful nips down her throat towards her collarbone, unzipping her jacket as he went to allow better access. His scruff scratched against her soft skin and Emma felt her eyes roll back in her head. She let her hands roam over his back, feeling his toned body beneath his jacket. He parted her legs with his thigh and pushed against Emma so that they were connected at the waist. She ran her hands up and through his hair, pulling lightly. This elicited another low growl from Killian. "Gods, Emma, do you know what you do to me?" He asked between kisses, his voice raspy.

Emma bit her lip to hold back a low moan that was building within her in reaction to the overwhelming sensations. The rough brick of the Sheriff's station rubbed against her back and she felt a surge of embarrassment. _We can't even keep our hands off each other long enough to make it down the road._ She had every intention of telling Killian they needed to cool it, at least until after they tracked down the Snow Queen (no pun intended) and now they were grinding against each other. _Talk about mixed signals._ Her embarrassment grew and she groaned when she realized her father could likely see them if he looked out the window.

Killian mistook her embarrassed groan as a moan of contentment and redoubled his efforts, his hand unabashedly roaming her body. His other arm still holding her close.

"It is a problem though Hook," Emma said lightheadedly, trying to bring them back to her earlier train of thought. She cradled Killian's head in her hands and pulled him to look at her. Her thumbs gently caressing his face. "Because there is a Snow Queen on the loose and I am preoccupied out here like a teenager while everyone else is working to find a solution."

"Not everyone, love," Killian whispered, a twinkle in his eye. His hand reached up to cover her hand with his own. "I'm here. Just because you're the saviour doesn't mean you can't have a life." He pulled her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her palm. "You need to enjoy the quiet moments-"

"And then what Hook?" She interrupted, raising her voice slightly. "After I have _enjoyed all of these quiet moments_ I am not left with a ton of spare time to tackle the Snow Queen."

"Emma-" Killian began, a smile on his face. He reached out with his hook to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. The gesture was so intimate and his body felt _so_ good still pressed against her. Yet, she could feel anger rising in her chest. She was angry him for not listening to her. At herself for not living up to her role of Saviour. For giving into the temptation that is Killian. She was the Saviour dammit. She should be doing… well something! Something that didn't involve Hook.

"Stop, Hook! For God's sake, will you stop and just listen to me?!" She pushed him away from her, with much more force than she intended. He staggered back a couple steps. The hurt she had seen in his eyes earlier flared up again and Killian grimaced at her harsh tone. She felt her stomach constrict and she knew this getting out of hand, but she was like a runaway train. Her face red with anger. She knew she was mad at the Snow Queen, at herself, but she couldn't stop. She yelled at Killian, "You don't understand the pressure I am under. I am the Saviour Hook, the Saviour! I am supposed to have the answers and I don't. I don't have them. You don't understand-"

"Then tell me!" He said finally raising his voice. "Bloody hell woman, that's all I want." He lowered his voice. "That's all I have ever wanted. For you to talk to me. To bloody trust me."

She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she willed them to stop. "This isn't about trust Killian," she burst exasperated. "I just, I need to focus. I need to not be distracted by, by whatever _this_ is," She waved her arms, gesturing wildly. The first tear slipped out of her eye and rolled down her cheek.

"So, what are you saying Swan?" Hook asked, carefully. His features guarded. He wanted to reach out and to hold her. To wipe the tears from her eyes. but he stopped himself. He didn't know what she needed from him, but he knew it wasn't his embrace. Not now.

"Look Killian, you, you just need to stop. Not forever," she amended quickly. "Just long enough for me to get my head on straight."

"Stop what?" He asked, cocking his brow.

"The kisses, the double entendres, the smouldering glances…"

"I'll do my best love, but I can't always control myself around you. Especially after the glances you throw my way," He said with a devious grin.

"Hook!" She exclaimed, exasperated.

"Aye, love. As you wish," He said softly. The smile gone from his lips. "You know I would go to the world's end if you asked."

She smiled, knowing he would, without a second thought. "I'm sorry I yelled," she said softly. "It's just the pressure-"

"Aye, of being the saviour. I know love," He smiled and slowly laced his fingers through hers again. There were limits to his strength and he needed to touch her. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, careful to keep distance between their bodies, trying to respect her wishes. "I want to help Emma, but you have to let me."

"I know," she squeezed his hand. "It's just, I'm not built that way Killian, to trust. But I am working on it. I'm trying."

"I know love," He said with a small smile, the hurt lessened in his eyes, but still there. "One day you'll see that you can trust me. I can be a very patient man."

"You don't seem very patient to me," Emma scoffed, her voice coming out much more raspy than she was comfortable with.

"I am when something, or someone," He said raising his eyebrows pointedly. "Is worth waiting for." He leaned in and gave her a very chaste kiss. He freed his hand and wiped away her tears, his hand lingering for only a moment before it dropped back to his side. "Last one, until you tell me otherwise, I promise."

She smiled and looked at her watch. "I think we squandered our coffee break. We better get back in there before David releases the hounds." She wiggled her eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood.

"Your father has hounds?" Killian asked in surprise. "Perhaps we can use them to smell out the Snow Queen."

"No, it's, it's an expression," Emma tried to keep from laughing. Killian fit in so well that she occasionally forgot colloquialisms and cliches were often over his head.

"Bloody hell, Swan," Killian said exacerbated. "I'm trying my best love."

"I know," Emma said. She kissed him on the cheek, his beard rough against her lips. And she knew that they were trying together. And for now, that was enough.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Emma closed the door to her apartment and turned the lock behind her. She doubted it would keep the Snow Queen at bay, but old habits died hard. Locking people out, of her house, _Hell, of her life_ , was her go to move. And boy, did she want to be alone now. She shivered as she toed off her boots, the cold from the forrest clinging stubbornly to her bones. She left her boots in a wet, muddy heap by the door and walked to her room, shutting the door behind her. She pulled off her toque and tossed it on her dresser. She flopped facedown on her bed, coat and gloves still on. Despite the warmth of the apartment, she was still freezing and vaguely wondered if she would ever feel warm again. Common sense told her that changing into fresh, warm clothes would likely do the trick, but she felt drained. The Snow Queen was still at large after another unsuccessful search, another unsuccessful day. Another _Hook-less_ day, a voice whispered quietly in the back of her mind. She tried to push the thought down, but it was too late, she was thinking about him. Missing him. Again.

It had been almost two weeks since they'd been alone together, her heated words still fresh in her mind. Killian had been more than respectful of her request for space, although she had a suspicion that he didn't entirely trust himself to be alone with her. Maybe that was just wistful thinking on her part, since she barely saw him anymore. He made sure of that, excusing himself when she came into the room, ensuring they were never in the same group when the larger search party split apart. She knew he meant well, _that this was exactly what she had asked for_ , but she found herself missing her pirate in spite of herself. She felt foolish asking him to stay away, especially when all their efforts had turned up nothing of value, but she was stubborn. And she needed to prove that she, The Saviour, had what it took. _No matter how miserable she felt_.

She rolled onto her back and stared up at her ceiling. The apartment was quiet, which was rare. Mary Margret and David were having dinner at Granny's with Neal and Henry. She was supposed to join them, but she just couldn't summon the energy. She told her parents she just wanted some peace and quiet and waved off their concerned glances. She assured them she would feel better after a nap, but now that she was back at the apartment she didn't feel like sleeping. She didn't feel tired, just numb. She felt like she was empty. _You would have the energy if you were meeting Killian_ , the voice whispered. She closed her eyes, a dull ache settling over her body. She really missed him. Not just his lips and the feel of his body against hers, but his laugh, his wit and his companionship. And the worst part was, she had done this herself. Pushed him away so many times that for once, he'd stayed away. She shouldn't be surprised. It was only a matter of time before he stopped chasing her.

Suddenly, she had a moment of crystallizing clarity. She had done this, so she could undo it. She had tried being the Saviour with, and without Killian and it didn't take a lot of soul searching to know which she preferred. She was tired alright, _of feeling miserable_. She jumped up from her bed and rapidly shrugged out of her clothes, leaving them pooled on the floor where they fell. Emma hunted through her closet, searching for, _something scandalous_ , she thought with a smirk. She wanted Killian's jaw to hit the floor when he saw her. The cold she felt in her bones ebbed away slowly as her thoughts turned to Hook, and of the potential magnitude of her actions. She just hoped it wasn't too late. She settled on a tight, short little dress that didn't leave much to the imagination. She slipped into the dress and surveyed herself in the mirror, trying to see herself through his eyes. While perhaps not completely weather appropriate, she had a feeling it would, or at least she hoped it would, have the effect she desired on her pirate. She quickly applied some makeup and fluffed her hair. She knew that taking a shower was probably the only way to truly sort her hat head, but she didn't want to waste anymore time. _Enough was a enough_ , she thought.

She pulled on a thicker coat then she had been wearing earlier to compensate for all of her exposed skin. She looked wistfully at her warm boots for half a second before she shook her head and rummaged through the depths of her closet. She slipped into some heels, picturing Hook and what she hoped would be his reaction to her attire. _Heels were definitely the way to go_. With one last quick glance in the mirror, she left her now dishevelled room, slipping her keys and cell phone into her coat pocket as she went. She pulled the door to the apartment shut behind her with a bang and hurried towards Granny's. Partly because she was so keen to see him, and partly because it was so bloody cold. She was sure this was the work of the Snow Queen, but since they had been unable to locate her, the only solution was more layers. Her breath visible in the fading light, Emma wished she had thought to grab a scarf, but she was half afraid that if she turned back she would chicken out, so she pressed on.

Out of the corner of her eye, Emma noticed a dim light on in the Sheriff's Station. _Someone from the search probably just forgot to turn off a lamp_ , she thought to her self. She considered simply ignoring it and continuing to Granny's, but she hesitated. If something was wrong, David would call her to check it out. And she didn't want to be interrupted. _That is if Hook will even stay in the same room as you_ ** _long enough_** ** _to be_** _interrupted_ , the voice whispered at her. She shook her head to clear it. _One thing at a time_ , she thought. She huffed and shuffled towards the door. Her bare legs tingling unpleasantly from the cold. She dug around her coat pocket, searching for her keys. She tried the doorknob and she was surprised to find that she didn't need them, it was already unlocked.

She swallowed thickly. _There was definitely something going on here_. In her haste to see Hook she had also left her gun at home, something she now regretted. She considered going back for it, when she saw a silhouette move behind the frosted glass. Unwilling to give whoever had broken into the station the opportunity to escape, she gritted her teeth. She did have magic after all. Hopefully that would be enough. She pushed open the door and walked with as much confidence as she could muster into the office, her heels clicking loudly on the tile. The station was dark, save for one table light on a desk. Emma blinked, her eyes taking a second to adjust to the change in lighting.

"Who's in here?" She called out into the dim light. "I'm armed, annoyed, and have other plans tonight so let's go," She walked further into the room, checking down an alcove as she went, her false bravado fading with each step.

"Swan," Hook said, putting down the newspaper clippings he was looking it. "Apologies love, I thought you had retired for the evening." The back of his chair was facing her and he was twisted around in his chair to meet her eyes. His short leather coat was tossed lazily beside him. He was sitting stiffly, his body obviously more accustomed to the helm of a ship than all the desk work he had been pulling lately.

"Killian?" Emma said, expelling the air in her lungs as she walked towards him. She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath. "What are you doing here? I was looking for you." She leaned against the desk looking at the papers strewn in front of him. She was very aware of the space, or rather _the lack of space_ , between them and her heart pounded in her chest. This was the closest they had been in weeks. He was so close she could reach out and touch him. Run her hands through his hair, reach into his shirt and explore his chest…

"I've become rather fond of this research," He said with a tight smile, interrupting Emma's thoughts. "Thought I would get in a couple more hours before I turned in. Never know what might turn up." He said, leaning back in his chair, his eyes taking Emma in. The flush creeping onto his face suggesting that he too was keenly aware of their proximity. And of how much skin she was showing, despite her coat's best effort to cover her up.

"Hmm," Emma murmured. "Any luck so far?" She suspected that his newfound fondness for clerical work was the result of misplaced frustration at their current romantic situation, and she didn't blame him. She had thrown herself into her work lately as well. She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked at him expectantly, wishing she could read him as well as he could read her.

"Well you're here now love, so I would say so," He said softly. He pushed back his chair to look at her and their knees accidentally brushed. His eyes hungrily trailed up her bare legs and his breath hitched for a moment. Catching himself, he shook his head and quickly scooted back further so they were no longer touching. He shot her an apologetic smile for his perceived bad form. Emma sighed. While she was relieved she was still able to still get some reaction from him, his quick retreat worried her. When she had asked the pirate to give her some space she had never imagined that he would give her quite so much. She should have known better. Captain Hook had shown her time and time again that he was the perfect gentleman.

He cleared his throat and looked up at her, his face expressionless. "No matter, you said you were looking for me, so what can I do for you Swan? I don't want to keep you from your plans," he said referencing her dramatic entrance mere moments ago. _Or was it hours?_ She always seemed to have trouble keeping time around this pirate. Emma felt her chest tighten. She had felt so sure earlier, but being here, so close to him, she felt her words failing her.

"So, I've been thinking…" Emma begin, letting her words hang in the air. When Hook continued to look at her expectantly, she continued. "We've combed through every town record, searched the Snow Queen's shop, house and ice cream truck, and we still have no leads," She sighed, running her hands through her hair. "We're down to reading old newspapers," She motioned again to the papers. "And I highly doubt that we're going to find a headline detailing the Queen's plan."

"Shall I canvass the woods again Swan? Perhaps we missed something on our previous searches?" He said rising to his feet, eager for an excuse to put some space between him and Emma. Emma had made it clear that she was not available until after the Snow Queen was apprehended. Thus, he had thrown himself into the search, not due to a love of research, but knowing the sooner they defeated the Snow Queen, the sooner Emma could take a break from being the saviour. And they could end _their_ break. It was by no means a perfect plan. Eventually something else would come up that required the saviour's attention, but he hoped that by then she would have more trust. Trust _him_ enough to lower her defences, to let him in. Trust _herself_ enough to know that she could be the saviour _and_ still be with him.

While he respected her wishes, he certainly wasn't happy about them. He found it excruciatingly difficult to be around her but not _with her_. To act like she was just another person and not _exceedingly important_ to him. It was agony. So, he'd taken a page out of her book and had started avoiding her. It seemed like the easiest course of action at the time. While this plan worked relatively well, he was left feeling weak being so close to her now after all this time. Unable to help himself, he surveyed her. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks flushed from the cold. Her legs seemed extra long and shapely thanks to those bloody shoes she was wearing, and of course there was the problem of all the bare skin. If she wasn't careful she would freeze. He wasn't sure why she was dressed like this, but he certainly liked it. _Probably something to do with her bloody plans_ , he thought with a sinking heart. _Plans that didn't involve him_. His thoughts drifted to the last time they'd been alone together, how her body had felt against his. He imagined holding her dressed as she was now, trailing kissed down her exposed skin. He swallowed carefully, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"No, that wasn't what I was thinking," Emma said, suddenly feeling very nervous. Her voice jolting him back to reality. "We've searched the woods a dozen times and found nothing."

He raised a brow at her, his blue eyes searching hers. "Anything you need Swan," He said, his tight smile still in place, willing his voice to sound normal, relaxed. "Just say the word."

"Well, like I said, I've been thinking, and you're right. I do need to live. Our searches have come up empty and there is no point just sitting here waiting for a lead. For all we know, we scared the Snow Queen off and she left town," Hook raised his brow skeptically in response, but Emma ignored him. She took a deep breath and forced herself to blurt out the words she had been thinking for days, before she lost her nerve. "So, I was thinking we're due for our second official date…" Again her words hung in the air. She searched his face, hoping that she hadn't pushed him away too many times. That he would still come back to her. That he wasn't done chasing her.

"Aye, that sounds like a bloody brilliant idea," He said after a pregnant pause. His eyes shone brightly back at her and she could feel him choosing his words carefully. He rested his hand on her knee and Emma felt his touch rush through her body like an electric current. _God, she had missed him._ His eyes searched hers, seeking permission. Sensing no resistance, he began gently stroking his knuckles over her smooth skin. The warmth of his hand contrasted with the coolness of his rings which sent delightful little shockwaves to her centre as they slowly traced circles further and further up her thigh. Finally, his lips curled into one of his signature smiles, his eyes twinkling. "I've been ready for our second date since I left you at your door after our first."

Emma felt relieved she was still leaning against the desk. She honestly wasn't sure she could trust her legs to support her. She felt herself grinning like an idiot, but she didn't care. She didn't realize quite until this moment how wrecked she would have been had he declined. "Okay, so let's lock up here and then maybe we can head to Granny's-"

"Granny's," He interrupted, his brow furrowed. His hand stopped moving. "I had planned on somewhere a little more grand for our second rendezvous."

"Well, I wasn't thinking Granny's so much for the cuisine as I was for the accommodation…" She felt her heart skip a beat as the words tumbled out of her mouth. She looked up at Hook expectantly while she waited for him to grasp her meaning.

His eyes widened in surprise to her brash statement and his tongue darted out to moisten his lips at the thought. "Ah," he said. He cleared his throat and avoided her eyes. "Well, that may prove a bit difficult, as my housing situation is in transition at the moment."

"What?" Emma said, genuinely surprised. "Since when have you not been at Granny's? What do you mean in transition?"

"Erm, it's rather, complicated," Killian said with a sigh. "I'd procured a house, near the sea, actually-"

"You bought a house," Emma said, rising to her feet, Hook's hand failing back to his side. "And you didn't tell me?"

"Well," He squirmed, avoiding her eyes. "I didn't know if talking about my living situation was allowed under our arrangement," He looked at her, and she frowned but said nothing. "I was only trying to abide by your wishes love. And I didn't have the house for very long anyways, so there was little to tell." Emma felt a blush creep onto her cheeks. She could tell from his demeanour that Killian was worried she was angry with him, but instead she felt her heart constrict painfully in her chest. She had missed Killian so much, and her heart broke when she imagined him feeling like he couldn't even speak to her. At least she had her parents and Henry to confide in, but Hook was relativity isolated in Storybrooke.

"Can we start this conversation over?" Emma said softly. She wanted to know everything she had missed during their time apart, but not right now. Now, she just wanted him to know how she felt, that she was anything but angry. She smiled coyly and put her hand over his heart. She felt its steady beat under her palm. Killian was so surprised that he almost jumped at the contact. He placed his hand over hers and squeezed gently, genuinely happy for her offering of affection.

"Depends, Swan," He said with a broad smile, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "I rather liked the direction we were heading in before. Is this new conversation still going to end with an invitation to your bed?" For once, Emma ignored his banter. She was not in the mood to play games.

"Killian," She began, her voice raspy. "I've missed you. Having you here, but not with me, I, I don't want to keep living like that," She felt his heart rate increase and smiled internally, pleased that she was able to have this effect on on with only her words and a slight touch.

"Aye, Emma," He said, his voice soft and his features guarded. "I've missed you too. So much," His voice cracked with emotion. He placed his hook on her hip gently, drawing her closer to him. He licked his lips and moved his hand away from hers, sliding slowly it along her arm. The touch sending a pleasant shiver down her spine. After what seemed like an eternity, his hand came to rest, cradling her face, his calloused palm gently caressing her cheek. "So the question is, what do we do about it?" He whispered.

"Well, Captain Jones," She said with a smirk. "Say you'll have a drink with me. And we'll go from there." Her hands roamed up his body and wrapped around his neck, toying with his hair at his nape.

"Aye your highness," Killian said pulling him closer to him in earnest. "I would like that very much." He kissed her, slowly and deliberately, his hand still cupping her face. Emma wrapped her arms more tightly around him, needing to be closer to him. _God I've missed this_ , she thought again. She purred when he slowly ran the tip of his tongue over her bottom lip. She moved to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away. She looked at him questioningly, her breathing heavy and her pulse erratic.

"The communication device is buzzing love," Hook said, motioning to her coat pocket. He looked as breathless as she felt. "It's rather persistent." Emma groaned and pulled her phone out of her pocket, still acutely aware of every inch of contact between Hook's body and her own. She glanced at the display and saw that the call was from David. She considered letting it go to voicemail, but she saw two missed calls from him already.

"It's David," She said to Hook. "It might be about the Snow Queen," She said by way of explanation. As she untangled her limbs from his and moved to answer the phone she felt him tense, no doubt bracing himself for her retreat, again. _But he couldn't be more wrong_ , Emma thought to herself with a smile. She reached for his hand and looking deeply into his eyes, kissed his palm, her lips lingering. She squeezed his hand gently, before slowly letting it slip out of her grasp. She tried to convey with her eyes what she felt. _That she wasn't going anywhere._ His eyes grew wide and he smiled broadly back at her, so she hoped the message was received.

"Hi David, what's happening?" Emma said into her phone, turning away from Killian. She willed her breathing to return to a normal rhythm, but had limited success.

"Are you okay?" David asked, sounding concerned. "You sound like you've been running."

Emma bit back another groan. "I'm fine, I, um, I had to run to find my phone," She finished lamely, trying to derail David's persistent questions before they started in earnest. "Have you heard something about the Snow Queen?"

"No, just checking in. There's reports of lights on at the station and you weren't at the apartment," He said, sounds of Neal and Henry playing together audible in the background, making her smile faintly.

"Yeah, I'm at the station," She said rolling her eyes. She had known he would call her about the lights. Glancing up into Killian's eyes, dark with passion, she was very glad she had come to check it out herself. "I'm on my way out now."

"Okay, see you soon," David replied, obviously relieved that everything was under control.

"No, actually you won't," Emma said with a smile. "I'm going to get a drink." She flashed her lashes at Killian and happily realized that that dull ache had left her body and was replaced with a fire burning deeply within her. She bit her lip to try and maintain a semblance of composure. "Don't wait up."

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Emma and Hook walked slowly down the street, neither saying anything, opting instead for the comfortable silence that had settled over them. The streetlights were blinking to life as the sun crept slowly behind the horizon. Hook's pulse quickened when he thought of their pleasantly heated exchange in the Sheriff's Office only moments ago. He wanted nothing more than pick up where they had left off. But she had only just come back to him and he didn't want to scare her away. He cared for her so much,  _Hell, he probably loved her_ . So if his Swan wanted to take things slowly, then he would. He eyed Emma carefully out of the corner of his eye, sizing her up, her cheeks rosy from the cold, her hair blowing in the slight breeze.  _Aye, slowly, but not glacially,_ he thought. Biting his lip nervously, he reached out and captured her hand in his. He smiled and released his breath when Emma laced her fingers through his. She gently ran her thumb over the back of his hand and he shivered, but not from the cold.

Emma fought back a smirk when she felt Killian's reaction to her seemingly innocent touch. There was still a chill in the air, but Emma found she didn't notice it as much when Killian was beside her. She pulled herself closer to him, and rested her head on his shoulder. She relished the feel of him against her after all this time, even through all of their layers of clothing. She wanted to enjoy the night, enjoy _him._ But she had this annoying, nagging feeling remaining from their earlier conversation. She bit the inside of her cheek, wrestling with her self.

"So," Emma said, deciding and clearing her throat. "About this house you bought—"

"Emma, love, please," Hook said scratching his hook behind his ear. "I'd really rather not get into it." Emma said nothing. She let their silence, no longer comfortable, loom around them.

"I didn't do anything _illegal_ , if that what you're implying," He huffed.

"I wasn't," Emma said. The silence grew thicker. She could almost feel the gears churning in his head as he considered his next words.

"It's, it's just the tale doesn't cast me in a very flattering light," He said. "And I don't want to dampen the evening, not after we've waited for so long," He smirked at her. Even in the dim light she could see his eyes twinkling deviously.

"Nothing you tell me is going to change what's happening here," She said squeezing his hand. "With us."

"I don't want you to," He said, hesitating and swallowing thickly. "To think less of me love," He silently cursed himself. He'd been trying to maintain his playful demeanour, to keep things light, but he could feel the seriousness of his words chipping away at his armour.

She stopped and turned to face him. "I know who you are Hook," She said, her tone serious, matching his own. "And there is nothing, _nothing,_ " She repeated with conviction, looking deeply into his eyes. Her face inches from his, their breath mingling. "That could change that. Do you understand me?"

"Aye," He said, his voice thick with emotion. "Forgive me for doubting you." He pulled her closer to him, and kissed her carefully, but deliberately. He freed his hand from hers and slid his arm down her back, but she pushed him away gently.

"Talk to me Killian," Emma said, her eyes pleading, her tone insistent. "Please." He didn't want to see the look on her face when she heard what a fool he had been. He slid out of her embrace and they resumed walking. Though he kept his arm wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her body flush with his.

"Nothing truly impressive," He said, his bravado back in full swing. "I found a little cottage I fancied—"

"Near the sea," Emma interjected.

"Aye," He said, a shadow of a smile on his lips, presumably at his memory to the place he had hoped to make a home. "I believed I had procured it. Alas, unbeknownst to me, the Crocodile owned the dwelling and when he learned of my interest, the deal went a little—" His face twisted. "Well let's just say I was relieved of both the cottage and my payment." He felt Emma stiffen beside him and he continued to look down the road.

"Where have you been staying?" Emma asked very softly, her mouth dry. She felt a tidal wave of guilt crash into her. "Why didn't you go back to Granny's?" They were nearing the heart of the little town, but on this cold night there was no one else on the street.

"The station," He said with a grimace. His voice was flat and his breath visible as he spoke. "I wasn't left with much of a choice, Swan. I had no coin to procure a room."

"Killian, Granny would have understood if you'd explained, you could have—" She started to say, _have told me_ , _have stayed with me_ , but he had already explained why he had faced this alone, because he felt like she'd asked him to.

"I don't need charity Swan," He said, his face dark. "I'll survive, as I always do."

Emma opened her mouth to say something, but Killian spun her in his arms and captured her lips with his own before she could form the words. He kissed her roughly, desperately. She grabbed his jacket and pulled him closer to her. His hand was in her hair, tugging lightly and his hook pulled her closer to him.

"Please Emma," He croaked, pulling away a fraction of an inch, his voice raspy and his breath warm against her lips. He rested his forehead against hers. "Can we leave it? I don't want to discuss the Crocodile or my failings as a man." He kissed her again, slowly. "Not when there are so many more, _pleasurable_ , activities we could be engaged in." Emma wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She burrowed her head in his shoulder, her eyes wet with tears. She tried to use her embrace to convey all her feelings, her guilt and regret for isolating him, her anger towards Gold, her desire to make things right. He kissed the top of her head, his lips lingering.

"Now, as enjoyable as this is, as _you_ _are_ ," he said against her hair, his voice low. "Can we get out of this bloody cold?" He rubbed his hand against her back, no doubt trying to generate some warmth. "I believe there was talk of a second date?" Emma smiled against him and pulled away to look him in the eye.

"Sure," she said smiling at him. She dried her eyes with her sleeve. "You planned the last date, so I get to plan this one."

"Now Swan, I've seen enough of this land to know that the planning is customarily left to the gentleman, unless you don't think me up to the task?" He asked, raising his eyebrows challengingly.

"Oh, I know you're up for it," She said happily recalling their previous date. "but when have we ever been _customary_ Killian?" He smiled and nodded his acceptance. "Besides," Emma said with a smirk. "I have something planned, _a bit of a fantasy_ , that I was hopping you could help me with." She bit her lip and looked at him playfully.

"Aye," He said his tongue darting out to moisten his lips. "I'll give you anything you desire."

"Good," Emma said, resting her hands on his shoulders. "Then go in there," she motioned to the Rabbit Hole behind her, giving him a slight push. "And order a drink."

"In that dingy tavern?" Hook said, raising his eyebrows. "It's a dodgy place love, and believe me, I've seen a seedy tavern or two in my days aboard the Jolly." She looked up at him with a small smile and he sighed. He would do whatever this woman wished and she knew it. "Aye, as you wish."

"I'll see you soon," she said turning to walk in the opposite direction.

"You're not coming in?" He said, his brow knit and his tone confused.

"I need to pick something up," She said, batting her eyelashes at him. "Trust me, you'll like it."

"Swan, you toy with my heart," He called after her, resting his hand over his heart, perhaps only half jokingly. He smiled warmly at her and Emma felt a blush creeping onto her cheeks.

"Have a drink, I'm worth the wait," She called over her shoulder as she walked away.

"Aye, love, you are," She heard him mutter. She smiled widely, knowing she couldn't have suppressed her smile if she tried.

* * *

Emma walked into the shop purposefully, the iconic bell chiming above her. She felt in her gut that she could, _and should_ , fix this. She of course knew that Hook was more than capable to take care of himself, but she couldn't shake the feeling that made her want to shield him from the ugliness of the world. She also had a nagging feeling that if things hadn't been so tense between the two of them recently, the whole situation could have been avoided altogether.

"Sorry, we're closed for the evening," Gold said without looking up from the dusty book in his hands. "You're welcome to come back tomorrow."

"I'll be quick," Emma said, her expression guarded. She looked around the shop casually and tried to suppress a shiver. She could feel the sheer power of all magic contained in the little store and it was always a little unsettling.

"Ahh, Miss. Swan," Gold said, his trademark smile in place. "I surmise you are here to discuss young Henry's newfound employment?" He closed the book gently, clearly preparing for a unpleasant conversation.

"No," Emma said slowly. "I think it will be good for Henry to spend some time with his other grandpa. And," she hesitated, unwilling to give away too much in case Gold was set on a stubborn negotiation. She sighed and her features softened. Gold knew as well as she did that she would never use Henry as a bargaining chip, so there was no point holding back. "But more than that, you knew Neal when he was Henry's age. You can tell him things about his father that I never could."

Gold was silent for a moment. "That I can Miss. Swan, I—" He looked off into the distance for a beat, collecting his thoughts. Emma shifted uncomfortably. She couldn't remember ever seeing Rumpelstiltskin at a loss for words. She knew the loss of his son clearly had taken its toll on him. Gold cleared this throat, "Well if this isn't about Henry, tell me dearie, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm here on official sheriff's business," Emma said, ignoring Gold's skeptical glaze as he took in her _very unofficial_ outfit. "It has come to my attention that you there have been issues surrounding you and some real estate deals—"

Understanding settled onto Gold's face and he interrupted her, "Official Sheriff's business? No, call it what it is dearie, you're here about the _pirate_ ," Gold spat. "If I were you, I would tread carefully Miss. Swan. Once a pirate, always a pirate."

"It's not about him," Emma said refusing to be intimated by Gold. "You can't keep both the property and Hook's payment. That's illegal, and in this world, I stop illegal things from happening." She met his scorching gaze with her own.

"He took my wife from me and you from my son. He seems bent on destroying generations of my family's happiness. I will not do business with that, with that—"

"Then return his gold," Emma said, knowing that Rumpelstiltskin brought up Neal deliberately to make her uncomfortable. She refused to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. "You're Rumpelstiltskin, you of all people know how deals work."

"That I do." Gold considered her for a moment. "I'll tell you what dearie, I won't deal with him, but you and I can work something out."

"I'm listening," Emma stiffened. She had been expecting this.

"Your precious pirate can have his hovel, for the previously agreed upon price of course, and in return all I ask is that you watch this," He reached behind the counter and placed a VHS between them.

"Why do you want me to watch a tape?" Emma asked nervously. "What's on it?"

"It's rather difficult to put into words. It's best you just watch the recording Miss. Swan," Gold said tapping it as he spoke.

"So I watch this and then the property is Hook's, no tricks? No interference from you? Ever?" Emma said, trying to ignore the ominous feeling that raised the hairs on the back of her neck.

Gold nodded, "Do we have a deal?" He smiled at her broadly. He snapped his fingers and he was holding a large, brass key, presumably belonging to the house in question.

"Fine," Emma reached out and shook his hand, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. _How bad could a tape be_? She grabbed the tape and the key, putting both in her coat's deep pockets.

"Always a pleasure Miss. Swan," Gold called to her as she left his shop, the door banging loudly as she left.

* * *

She unzipped her coat, but hesitated before pulling it off. She put her hand in her pocket and ran her finger over the oversized key. She felt very unsure of her actions. She wanted to tell Killian the good news, but part of her feared that he would be angry that she had interfered after he asked her not to. Selfishly, she left the key in her coat and handed it to the girl working coat check. _She wanted her perfect night with her pirate_. She took her the coat check number and for lack of a better place, put it in her bra. It wouldn't kill Killian to wait an hour to know he wasn't homeless.

She took a step towards the bar, and then stopped. She remembered how it had felt all those years ago when she had lived in her bug. How alone, how cold and how disheartening it had been. She turned back to the counter waving her number, pushing ahead of the people behind her in line. "Sorry, I just forgot something in the pocket," She said with an apologetic smile, suddenly totally confident in her decision.

Hook sat at the bar nursing his drink, feeling the bass from the nearby dance floor in his bones. He'd left his leather jacket on, but had it unzipped. The sounds of the bar, the loud music, the forced laughter, the crack of billiard balls and the occasional shattering of a glass, washed around him.

"Hey, sailor," a sultry voice behind him whispered. He smiled, realizing Emma had finally joined him.

"Emma, love," He said turning on his stool to face her. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten—" The rest of his words died on his lips as he took her in, his eyes wide. His eyes trailed over all of her exposed skin, her legs that seem to go on for miles, the deliciously tight dress.

"That I'd what?" Emma asked demurely, fiddling with something in her hands. She smiled, clearly pleased with his reaction. He swallowed thickly, completely lost for words. "I take you like it, then?" Emma said, leaning against the bar beside him, as all the stools were taken. She knew his mind was truly preoccupied when he didn't even think to offer his seat to her.

"Aye," He said thickly, fighting to keep his voice steady. He licked his lips. "But I have to wonder, strictly speaking, is your attire legal in this realm, love?"

"Everyone else here is dressed like this," She said motioning to the other women around her.

"No, love," Killian said. His eyes coming to rest on her face. "There's not a soul that looks as you do." Emma smiled and blushed at the sincerity of his compliment.

"What it is, Swan," He asked concerned when he noticed that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Close your eyes," She said simply.

"Emma, wha—"

"Please," She asked.

He sighed, but did as she asked. Emma reached out and placed the key in his palm, closing the his hand over it. "Okay," She said softly. He opened his eyes and looked down at the key.

"Emma," He said, running his fingers over the key. "Is this…" She simply nodded in response. "I told you, I could handle this. I don't need charity. I—"

"Just because you can manage on your own doesn't mean you always have to," Emma said slowly, cutting him off. Her use of his own words silenced him for a moment.

"What did you have to promise the Dark One?" He asked, his face dark. He knew that nothing from that crocodile came without a price, and he hated to think that his feud with the Dark One had cost Emma anything.

"Nothing," Emma said, covering his hand with her own. "It was official Sheriff's business, I would have done it for anyone," Killian raised his brows at her. "Well, maybe not _completely official_ ," She amended. "It's just," she signed and wished she had thought more about what she wanted to say. Her emotions felt so vivid, so raw, but she was having difficulty articulating them. "I've never told you, but there was a time in my life when I didn't have a home. I lived in my car and it was miserable," He started to speak, but she put her finger over his lips to silence him. "And then when I found out you were without home, and that you felt like you couldn't tell me, _it broke my heart Killian_. And I _like_ that you're trying to put down roots that you're not going anywhere—"

"I'm not," Killian said solemnly. "I'm here for the long haul Emma."

"I know," Emma smiled. "And _I like that_ , I really, really do. I know you're angry with me with me now, but—"

"Emma," He cut her off, his voice dripping with emotion. He placed the key, almost reverently on the bar and reached out to cup her face. "The last thing I am is angry. No one has ever done anything like this for me. Ever. I, how can I ever repay you?" He looked at her sincerely wondering what he had done to deserve this amazing woman.

"Buy me a drink," She said simply. He smiled widely and pulled her close to him and kissed her breathless.

* * *

Emma sat in the booth, crossing her ankles neatly. She knew she had a giddy smile plastered on her face, but she couldn't help it. She felt exhilarated. And happy. It had been a while since she had truly felt happy.

"Oiy there," Said a rather burly man who's name escaped Emma, although she knew he was one of Robin's Merry Men. He stumbled over to the table, sloshing his drink everywhere. "Fancy a drink," He hiccupped. "Your majesty?"

"Thanks, but I'm good," Emma said, trying to be firm, yet polite. "I'm just waiting for someone." She craned her neck looking for Hook.

"Ahh, come on Princess, think you're too good for me?" He said slurring his words. He leaned closer to her, reeking of alcohol and grabbed her thigh roughly. Before Emma had a chance to react, he was wrenched back, stumbling as he went.

"The lass already asked you to remove yourself, mate," Hook growled, slamming the two glasses he was carrying on the table, his hook still caught in the drunk's shirt. His face was red and his breathing rough.

Emma jumped up and put her hand on Killian's chest. "Killian, it's fine," She said, putting her other hand on his brace. "Just leave it. He's going, right?" She said looking to the other man. He shrugged, too drunk to have much fight in him and ambled off. Killian pulled away from Emma and slid roughly into the booth, his jaw tightly clenched. The gathering crowd quickly dispersed. Brawls were nothing new to the Rabbit Hole.

"My hero," Emma said jokingly, sliding beside him. She looked at him worriedly, hoping this hadn't put a dampen on their evening. His features were hard and he avoided her glaze.

"Hmph," He said, as he reached for one of the glasses he'd dropped on the table. "Rum, Swan," He said nodding at the other. "Hope it's to your liking." Emma felt a small smile beginning on her face when she realized the last time she had seen him like this. In the tavern in the past as he watched her prepare to distract his former self.

"Have I amused you, love?" He said with more bite in his voice than she had heard in a long time.

"You're jealous." She said simply. He said nothing and took a swig from his glass. Emma leaned closer to whisper in his ear. "There's no reason to be jealous, Killian. You're the only one I want," She moved her hand under the table and gently grazed his length with her fingertips. Killian almost jumped out of his skin and fought to not spit out his drink. "Gods, Emma," he said glancing around, coughing slightly, to make sure no one was watching. She smiled wickedly and then squeezed him gently. His eyes rolled back in his head and he bit his lip. She had to hold back a moan, _he felt so big_. She smiled when she saw that the darkness had left his face. His eyes were lidded and dark with passion.

"Come dance with me," She whispered, gesturing towards the small dance floor. She gently ran her tongue along his ear and smiled when he moaned softly.

"I'm afraid I don't know the steps," He said, his voice hitched.

"All you need is a good partner," She said rising. She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her, the drinks forgotten on the table. He went willingly, his eyes roaming her body like a hungry predator.

She pulled him to the centre of the crowded floor and guided his arms to her waist. She wrapped her own arms around his neck and pulled him close. She rocked her hips against his in time with the music. The bass playing so loudly she could feel it vibrating within her chest. Hook seemed a little bashful with her forward behaviour at first, but after understanding that everyone else on the floor was engaged in similar actions, he caught on quickly. He slid his hand lower to cup her bottom and to pull her closer. She caught his lips in hers and they kissed each other senselessly. They lost track of time, one song blurring into the next. Emma ran her hands through his hair and tried to remember every touch, every sensation. She gently bit his lower lip and grinned when she felt him growl in response.

"I could get used to this, love" He said loudly over the music into her ear. He nibbled gently on her earlobe and then trailed gentle bites down her neck towards her collarbone, his scruff scratching her skin in a delightful fashion. Emma tugged his hair roughly in response. The music, the crowd and the heat of all their bodies made her feel like she was drunk, even though she had barely had a sip. Sweat was beginning to form on Killian and Emma greedily licked it away, enjoying the taste of him. She wanted, _she needed,_ more. She pulled herself closer to him, using her legs to separate his. She could feel him growing hard against her and her walls clenched involuntarily. After a couple more minutes, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Show me your place?" Emma asked simply, his facial hair rough on her cheek. Killian only nodded in response. He took her hand and pulled her off the dance floor. Emma felt a little unsteady on her heels after their amorous antics and she stumbled. Killian caught her and pulled her close to him.

"I've got you love," He said with a smile. And Emma knew that he did. Truly.

"I need my coat," She said motioning to the coat check booth, where a long line was gathered and waiting.

"Not bloody now you don't," Killian said, a fire burning in his eyes. He pulled off his coat and put it around Emma's shoulders. He zipped the coat deftly, especially considering he only had one hand, kissing the tip of her nose when it reached the top. "I daresay it can wait until tomorrow?"

Emma nodded quickly, the fire in Killian's eye's reflected in her own. She wanted to get out of here. Emma took his hand in hers and pulled him outside, the cold wind knocking her back for a moment. His shorter jacket left much more of her skin exposed than her own coat had. A light snow had begun to sprinkle the Earth and Killian laughed heartily. It was infectious and soon Emma was giggling along beside him. The walked down the road, hand in hand. To anyone who didn't know them, they looked like a couple of lovestruck teenagers.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains adult content if you know what I mean ;)  
> If that's not your thing then you should skip it.

 

Hook struggled with the clunky lock for only a moment before the old door clicked open. He turned to Emma, a goofy smile plastered on his face. Emma's heart melted and she fought the urge to take his face in her hands and kiss him senselessly. _He deserves to be happy_ , she thought to herself. _Hell, they both did_. Emma followed him into the dark entryway, feeling only slightly apprehensive when she considered the implications of his actions. _The pirate was finally trading in his sea legs for good_. She just hoped that he wouldn't regret it.

He shut the door against the cold and fumbled for the light switch in the dark. Emma unzipped her borrowed jacket. She shivered when she felt Killian's hand and hook on her shoulders, slipping the jacket off. His breath warm against her neck. She turned to look at him over her shoulder and saw that his grin had only grown in size. His happiness was contagious and Emma couldn't help but smile widely in return. He brushed her hair back and kissed her collar sweetly. Still smiling, he turned and hung his jacket on a hook near the door. He reached for her hand and gently lead her into the house, _his house_. His smile waived for a moment and he looked at her cautiously.

Emma saw immediately why Hook was drawn to the quaint, single-storey house. It reminded her a little bit of the hull of a ship. A very large, very airy ship. The floor, the walls, the pillars, the high ceiling, everything was wood. Everything except for the long wall along the back of the house, which was nothing but uninterrupted floor-to-ceiling glass. Emma meandered from the entryway into a large, modern kitchen, her hand slipping slowly out of his. She ran her fingertips along the pale marble island separating the kitchen from the rest of the living space. She smiled, imagining the detailed operational tutorial she would have to give Hook on the stainless steel appliances. As she walked her heels echoed lightly on the hardwood up to the exposed beams in the ceiling. A large, stone fireplace rested against the far wall, its hearth cold. A leather couch sat facing it, the only piece of furniture in the large, open concept room.

"Alas, I didn't have time to procure much before I was removed by the Dark One," Killian said simply. "But I'll get to it. There's three bedrooms," He continued, coming up behind her and motioning to the doors. "And two baths." He scratched behind his ear and looked at her expectantly.

"It's perfect Killian," Emma said truthfully. "Beautiful, lots of space…"

"You've yet to see the best part," His cheeks dimpled, and the corners of his eyes wrinkled. He was noticeably elated that she seemed to like the cottage. Killian reached around her and flicked off the overheard light, motioning to the wall of windows behind her. Emma turned and the sight she witnessed was so picturesque it took her breath away for a moment. Waves crashed up on a private beach and the freshly falling snow danced in the moonlight. It was like something out of, well, _a fairytale_.

"Gorgeous," Emma said simply, starring at the window, her words failing her.

"Aye, the view isn't bad either love," He said. Emma's eyes were still adjusting to the moonlight, but she could tell without looking that his playful smirk was smiling back at her. She turned and walked towards him, putting an extra sway into her step.

"Killian, I don't know what to say. First you gave up your ship—"

"I've told you, I have no regrets Swan," He said without hesitation. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"I know," She said sincerely. "But I see the magnitude of this. Of you putting down roots. Of…I just want you to know I get it. I mean you're two hundred years old. It's been a while since you've spent this long on land—"

"It's the first time I've had a good reason to stay," He said earnestly.

She hesitated for only a moment, her eyes shining. Then she grabbed him by his collar roughly and kissed him for everything she was worth. She pawed at his waistcoat and then his shirt, working the buttons free. She kissed him as if it was the last time. Except it was better because she knew it was anything _but_ the last time. _Not if she had a say in it._ Emma's reaction surprised him into submission, but only for a moment. Once he regained his composure, he pulled her more tightly against him, the cool metal of his hook pressing into her back. His other hand in her hair, their tongues duelling together, their breath heated. Finished with the buttons, Emma slid her hands onto his now bare chest and pulled lightly on a fistful of chest hair. Smiling against his lips when she felt him groan.

"Emma, love," He said slowly, out of breath, pulling away. The moonlight fell across his face and his features were difficult to read in the dim light. "I, I really bloody missed you," His voice cracked and he clung to her roughly. "And I don't want to scare you away, and I know being the saviour means you're under pressure, but I can't, I can't lose you, I can't do it again. I—"

"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered against his lips. "As long as you'll have me, I'll be here." _Maybe even after that_ , she thought with a smile.

Killian looked at her silently, swallowing thickly. The silence stretching between them for so long Emma wondered if she'd said the wrong thing. Finally, he smiled warmly. "I like the sound of that," He gently stroked her cheek, his calloused palm rough against her skin. His eyes were brimming with emotion, of things left unsaid. While the sincerity in his eyes would have once send her running, she realized with a pleasant jolt that she didn't want to leave. She didn't feel scared. His lips grazed hers and lingered for a moment. "We should get you home love. Before we're snowed in." He said, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear. He pulled away from her and flicked the lights back on.

"I thought I was pretty clear," Emma said, carefully, her heart in her throat. "I'm not going anywhere." Killian froze, his body tense, considering her words. There was another pregnant pause and her heart was beating so rapidly Emma was certain Hook could hear it. He cleared his throat and turned back to face Emma, a smile smile on his face.

"Don't mistake me Swan," He said, his voice low and his eyes dark. "There is _nothing_ I would like more than that," He eyed her carefully and raised one of his brows. "But as I've said before, love, when I win your heart Emma, and I will win it. It won't be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me—"

"That's what I am saying," she said, exasperated. "I want you Killian. Right now."

"Love," He said, his expression pained. "You're three sheets to the wind. It would be bad form for me to take advantage of—"

"I'm not drunk," She said, truthfully. Her voice surprisingly steady despite her erratic pulse.

"Emma—"

"Killian, _I'm. Not. Going. Anywhere_ ," She cut him off, articulating each word slowly. "Unless, you don't think you can handle it," she punctuated the hard _t_ and smiled at him wickedly. He looked at her, dumbfounded for a second, and then suddenly there was no space between them. Their bodies pressed together tightly. His hand was everywhere. He kissed and nipped at her throat hungrily. Emma wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, running her hands through his hair.

"Oh, I can handle it," Killian said, his breathing uneven. His scruff tickling her, hand roaming her body, caressing her skin unabashedly. "Perhaps," He whispered, between kisses. "You're the one _who can't handle it_?" Emma whimpered against him in response, her breath hitching. She remembered the last time they'd taunted each other like this. Only now there was nothing, no lost boys, no Peter Pan, no dark magic, that could come between them. She felt him hardening against her thigh and she dropped her hand to his belt, pulling frantically.

"Patience love," He said a fire blazing behind his eyes as he shoed her hand away. "Age before beauty and all that." She opened her mouth to complain, but her words died on her lips as he crushed her lips in a kiss, his mouth hot against hers. He picked her up and carried her to the island. She squealed and jumped at the feel of the cold marble against the back of her bare legs as he set her down. "Sorry, Swan," He said smiling mischievously, "But I've been wanting to do this since you walked into the bloody station tonight," He kissed her again, then started slowly trailing kisses down her body. "Wanting to taste you," He murmured against her skin.

Emma whimpered as it dawned on her what he was going to do. She ran her fingers through his hair, every nerve ending in her body on fire. He slid his hand down her leg and captured the heel of her shoe. He raised it so her knee was slightly bent. He placed kiss after kiss, along inch after inch of her leg's smooth skin. He moved excruciatingly slowly, his teeth grazing her, his lips lingering, his stubble tickling. Emma felt her eyes roll back in her head and she tugged roughly on his hair, trying to compel him to move faster. _God, she had to control herself_ , _he was just getting started._

Her pulse quickened as he came nearer and nearer to the apex of her thighs. He gently tossed her leg over his shoulder, his hand caressing her thigh as it slipped out of his grasp. He used his newly freed hand and his hook to roughly push the bottom of her dress over her hips. She hissed when more of her skin touched the cold marble and thrust her hips towards him. He smiled at her devilishly and she scooted closer still. She could feel his warm breath against her panties. Resting his hand against her thigh, he turned his attention to her other leg, lightly nipping her flesh. His hook holding her in place, cool against her skin.

"Hook," Emma whined, desire coiling in her belly as he moved further and further away from her centre.

"Patience, Swan," he murmured again.

"Haven't we waited long enough?" She panted.

"Aye, we have," He conceded. "But that's also why I refuse to be rushed." She started to complain, but he silenced her with a soft bite on her inner thigh. "Lie back love." He said, back to gentle kisses. "Let me take care of you." She complied begrudgingly. She leaned back, resting her forearms on the island so she could still watch him. He continued raining kisses and licks along her skin, his stubble burning her skin delightfully. Emma squirmed on the island, not sure how much more she could take.

Finally, he returned to the heat between her legs. He wiggled his brows, his eyes twinkling fiendishly and then slowly licked her sex from overtop her now soaking panties. That alone was almost enough to make her come. Emma threw her head back and bit her lip. Killian pushed the leg not draped across his back onto the island, presumably so he could have better access. Not even bothering to take off her underwear, he used his hook to roughly pull it out of the way and he began to pleasure her in earnest. Unrelentingly, he kissed, licked and sucked, his tongue slipping in and out of her folds.

"Oh my god, Killian," She moaned breathlessly as he slipped a finger into her, thrusting gently.

"That's it, Swan," He encouraged. "Come for me love. Let me see you lose control." A second finger joined the first. She gasped when he curled them inside her.

He had her so wound up Emma knew she couldn't last much longer. She could felt her orgasm building quickly. She sat up and grabbed his hair roughly, her pointed heel digging into his back. Bucking her hips, desperate for release. His teeth lightly grazed her clit and she lost it. She screamed nonsensically, her voice echoing up to the rafters. Her vision blurred as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. He continued slowly pumping his fingers into her as she rode out her orgasm, enjoying the feeling of her walls clenching around him.

As her screams subsided, he slowly kissed his way back up her now feverish body. Emma grabbed him frantically. She had been so busy being the Saviour that she hadn't realized how badly she craving release. _How badly she needed him._ But, as good as she felt, she knew it wasn't enough. _She needed more._ Her hands were on his face, holding him against her as she kissed him. He tasted different and she realized with a start that she was tasting herself on his lips. Her pulse quickened at the thought. _It was surprisingly erotic_.

"Please tell me you have a bed," She rasped, resting her forehead against his, trying to catch her breath.

"Aye," He said pulling her close to him. He hoisted her off the island and Emma wrapped her legs tightly around him. His arms securely around her waist to not jostle her as he carried her to the bedroom. She slid her hands under his unbuttoned clothing around to his back, exploring his toned body. She gently bit his shoulder, suddenly feeling so possessive, feeling the need to mark him. He growled at the contact and pulled her closer, kicking off his boots as he went. He practically fell against the bedroom door, struggling to wretch it open with her in his arms, but he refused to put her down. They finally stumbled into the room and Emma made out the faint outline of a bed, dark in the moonlight.

He placed her almost reverently beside the bed and pulled away from her. Emma heard, rather than saw in the darkness, him feel along the wall. He obviously found what he was searching for when the light turned and he looked at her triumphantly. "I want to be able to see you," He said bashfully, by way of explanation.

"So then see me," She said, breathlessly turning and motioning to her zipper, pulling her hair out of the way. Killian caught his hook on the zipper at the back of her dress. He slowly pulled it down, trailing soft kisses down her spine as he went. When he finished, Emma pulled away and slipped the dress of her shoulders, the ghost of a smile on her face. She let the dress fall to the ground slowly before she stepped out of it. She stood before him in just her bra, panties and heels, her hair fanned around her shoulders.

"Oh Emma," Killian croaked, his eyes roaming her body, trying to take her in. _Looking wasn't enough_ , he reached for her, needed to feel her against him, but Emma put her palm on his chest to keep him at bay. Knowing fighting her was futile, he settled for resting his hand on her wrist, stroking her pulse tantalizingly with his thumb.

"Patience, Killian," she whispered with a smirk. She pulled his vest off and let it fall to the ground. She raked her nails over his bare chest, smiling when he hissed at the contact. "I take it you like this," She continued, motioning to her scantily clad body.

"Aye, Swan," He hissed again, his approval evident from the bulge in his pants. Emma reached between them and deftly undid his belt and then his pants. She pushed his pants off his slender hips as Hook pawed at her exposed skin. Emma bit her lip to hold back a moan when Killian's length bobbed against her thigh. _I guess underwear wasn't part of the wardrobe modernization,_ she thought, vaguely considering if she would ever be able to think of anything else again _._ Emma's hands pulled at the collar of his shirt, locking their mouths together passionately. His hand tugged at her hair, and she felt his hook pulling at her panties. She nipped his bottom lip lightly and then pushed him back roughly towards the bed. He sat, bouncing faintly on the mattress, his bare feet resting on the floor. His erection was throbbing almost painfully against his stomach, an ear to ear grin on his face.

"I bought this lingerie a long time ago," She said nonchalantly, straddling his hips and resting her hands on his shoulders. He rocked his hips toward hers, desperate for more contact, but she pulled away, towering over him in her heels. "Back when I thought there was no way this, _we,_ would ever happen," She leaned down and kissed a small scar above Killian's heart. Her hands combing over his chest. "I didn't notice right away, but when I got it home from the store I realized that the colour reminded me of your eyes," Emma sighed when those eyes found hers, overflowing with passion. Killian ran his hand along her spinal column, trying to pull her closer. "Dark and like the sea after a storm," She kissed another scar on his chest, her tongue darting out and licking softly. "Once I realized that I could never wear them."

"Emma—" He groaned, but she silenced him by finally lowering herself, slowly gyrating her hips over his. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling her chest against his.

"Because the couple times I did wear them, I was useless," She whispered in his ear, nibbling at his earlobe. "My pussy would be sopping wet," She hissed when she felt his length twitch in reaction to her dirty words. "Thinking about your eyes, and your lips, _your cock_ ," She kissed her earlier bite mark on his shoulder. She felt a slight pang of guilt when she saw her teethmarks were already visible. "I would have to go home, fuck myself senseless and change into something else." Killian rocked himself against her, frantic with need, his hand and his hook pulling her hips down to meet his thrusts, her thin panties the only thing separating them. She ran her hands along the nape of his neck, kissing and biting his pulse gently. "When I fucked myself, I always thought of you Killian," she murmured against his skin, pushing his shirt off his shoulders. He moved his arms away from her just long enough to shrug out of his shirt. "I always pictured you fucking me senseless."

A guttural, primal sound escaped Killian. He kissed her roughly, his teeth grazing her lip. His hook came between them and he ripped her panties off her body, literally tearing them to shreds. The sound went straight to Emma's core and she quivered.

"Liked that did you, Swan," He taunted against her skin. She nodded against him, not trusting herself to speak when she could feel him pressing against her, the earlier barrier removed. Her body slick with desire. "I always knew you were a wanton thing,"

In response she simply reached back and unclasped her bra, dropping it to the floor. He captured her breast in his hand, kneading it roughly. He lightly grazed her nipple with his thumb, sending little shockwaves down her body. "Killian," She pleaded. "I want you, _I need you_."

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that Swan," He said, his voice dripping with emotion. He kissed her tenderly, desperately. Emma kicked off her heels and reached between them. She stroked him roughly, frantic for more. He stood, lifting her with him, their lips not separating until her dropped her on her back. He crawled over her, the mattress dipping slightly under their weight. Heat and desire dripped off his toned body in waves. He kissed the valley between her breasts. She closed her eyes and ran her fingertips along his forearms up to his shoulders. She threw back her head, moaning, as he placed wet, sloppy kisses along her breasts.

"Emma, love, look at me," He commanded softly. She felt his warm breath against her cheek, his face inches from hers.

She opened her eyes and turned her head to meet his steely blue gaze. The intensity behind his eyes made her heart constrict. She dropped her hands to his neck and pulled his lips to hers. Trying to convey all the words she couldn't say, every feeling she couldn't express, into the kiss.

He reached between them and guided his erection to her entrance. Slowly he pushed into her, his eyes never leaving hers, his thick length stretching her deliciously. She whimpered, _He was so big_. She held her breath and arched her back towards him, wanting more. Inch after tantalizing inch he moved against her until they were fully joined, his sex completely buried in hers. _They fit together perfectly_ , Emma thought with a moan. Her whole body on fire.

"Are you alright love?" He asked hoarsely, his whole body taut from the effort of staying still against her, waiting for her to get used to his size.

"Killian," Emma panted, releasing her breath. "Stop being a gentlemen and just fuck me." She nipped at his bottom lip and wrapped her legs around his waist. " _Please._ "

"Careful what you ask for, love," His eyes twinkling. He slipped his arm behind her back pulling their bodies tightly together, his hook sliding along her spine. Emma whimpered as she felt his coarse chest against hers, her nipples rock hard from the sensation. He pulled out of her almost completely and then quickly rocked his whole length back into her. His thrusts hard and rough. Their hands and lips pulled at each other, wanting more contact, needing to feel closer. Emma greedily thrust her hips in time with his. The room was thick with the sound of their panting and moans. His eyes, overflowing with passion, never left hers.

"Come for me again, Emma" He said as he licked and sucked her breasts, ravishing each one equally. "I want to feel you come around my cock." He grabbed her nipple with his teeth, pulling lightly and Emma felt her walls clench in response. She saw stars behind her eyelids as she screamed his name, over and over again. He gave her no reprieve as she came, thrusting roughly against her, sucking her nipples, as she rode out her orgasm.

"That's it love," He panted against her skin, a smug grin on his face. "Gods, you feel so good."

Trying to catch her breath, Emma untangled her legs from behind him and rolled Killian onto his back, keeping their bodies pressed together. Her hands on his chest, she sat up and began rocking her hips against his, riding him in earnest. Killian met each of her thrusts with his own, his movements becoming sloppy as he felt his own orgasm building. His breath hitched and he tried to commit every image, every sensation to memory. _She was so bloody breathtaking_.

"Gods, Emma," He groaned. "I'm so close love, I can't last much longer, you're too tight."

"Come inside me Killian," Emma whimpered. He pulled himself upright, their chests crashing together roughly. He kissed her messily, his arms wrapped around her. He raked his nails down her back, his length twitching when he felt her shudder. Emma ran her hands through his hair, bouncing on his cock, wanting desperately to give him the release he had already given her.

"Come with me. Come on, one last time, Swan," He croaked, slipping his hand between them and pinching her clit roughly.

They came together, their release like an explosion. Their cries of bliss were lost on each other's lips as they kissed each other hungrily. All the build up want, desire, need, love, it rocked through them powerfully. It was unlike anything Emma had ever experienced before.

They tumbled back onto the bed breathing heavily, their bodies tangled together, damp with sweat. Killian's full weight pressing down on her, pinning her to the mattress. Emma didn't care. She wasn't ready to give up the feeling of his body against hers, not yet. She kissed his collar softly and rested her head against his shoulder. "Right there," Emma sighed contently.

"Sorry love?" Killian asked, confused. Reluctantly, he rolled off of her onto his side. His chest still rising and falling heavily. He reached for her, and pulled her body back flush with his.

"Later, when I ask you the moment that you ruined me for other men, it was right there." She said, still breathless.

"Oh Emma," He said chuckling, pulling her closer. "I'm just getting started love." His fingertips traced small, unintelligible shapes on her stomach.

"Lord have mercy," She said wiggling against him playfully.

"Will you stay?" He whispered against her hair. His tone serious, the lilt in his voice more pronounced than it was normally. "Stay the night, I mean."

"Yeah, I'll stay," She replied quickly, without hesitation. _And for longer than the just night_ , she thought. He kissed her shoulder in response. She felt a small smile on her lips as she drifted off to sleep, content in his arms.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Emma woke slowly, the sun falling across her face, her muscles deliciously sore. Her body was nestled against Killian's, his arms wrapped tightly around her even in sleep. He looked so peaceful resting against her, the tension gone from his body. She resisted the urge to brush his hair away from his face. She didn't want to wake him, not when he looked so content. Instead, she listened to his steady breathing, absentmindedly strumming her thumb along his chest. Enjoying the feel of his bare skin against hers.

She wondered vaguely what time it was. Her stomach sank when she remembered that her cell phone and her keys were still in her coat, which was still at the Rabbit Hole. Her bug was parked at her apartment, probably buried under two feet of snow. She cringed and closed her eyes as she pictured the epic walk of shame she was going to have to undertake to retrieve her belongings. And the looks she would face on David and Mary Margret's faces when they saw her, scantily clad in yesterday's clothes. _Better just get it over with_ , Emma thought to herself. She propped her chin and Killian's chest. She eyed him carefully and considered waking him, but she couldn't bear to disturb him. She placed a soft kiss over his heart, her lips lingering. She untangled her limbs from his slowly and pulled away.

"Swan," He grumbled, without opening his eyes. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back against him, rolling slightly so his chest was flush against her back. "You said you'd stay," His voice heavy with sleep. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, trying to keep her from escaping.

"I did stay," She said, her breath catching as Killian started slowing trailing his fingertips over her skin. "And it was wonderful, but I have to go," She said, squirming under his skillful touch. She sighed contently as his hand slipped between her legs, her resolve crumbling. "God, I need to get my own place."

"You could just move in here," Hook said as he trailed kisses down her spine and his touch became more persistent. "Your boy, Henry too of course, there's plenty of space." He felt Emma's whole body tense against his and her breath catch sharply.

"Hook, I honestly don't have time for this," Emma said pulling away from him and jumping up. She felt like she was drowning. She pulled the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around her self.

"Emma—" Killian called as he reached for her, but this time she deftly avoided his grasp. He watched her retreat away from him. She slipped into the bathroom and shut the door with a clatter. He fell back against the bed heavily, dread settling over him. He ran his hand over his face, sighing. _How could he have been so foolish?_ He'd been so caught up in the moment, so blissfully content, he had lost his mind, forgetting that his Swan ran if she was frightened.

Emma's vision was swimming as she slid down the wall to sit on the cold granite floor, the sheet wrapped tightly around her. She put her head between her knees, breathing heavily. First he'd traded the Jolly Roger to save her, now there was this landlocked house, apparently meant for _them,_ it was too much _._ She had always known deep down that Killian's decision to stay in Storybrooke had to do with her, but she had hoped that she wasn't the only reason. She felt pressure building in her chest. What if he stayed for her and it wasn't enough? _She wasn't enough_. He had already given up so much for her. What if she wasn't able to give him what he needed in return?

"Emma, love," Killian called from the other side of the door, knocking softly.

"I need a minute," Emma called, her voice shaky. _God, what was wrong with her?_ Her eyes were puffy and her face was wet with tears.

"Swan," He called again, to no response. Hook hesitated, his forehead resting against the other side of the door. His jaw was clenched tightly. "I'm coming in love." He cautiously opened the door.

He felt his heart break when he saw her, tangled up in the sheets on the cold floor, tears streaming down her face. "Emma," he croaked again. He sat down besides her, his back resting against the door. In one fell swoop, he scooped her up in his arms and pulled her onto his lap. "I'm so sorry love," He said against her hair, pulling her to him tightly. "I lost myself. Please love, forgive me."

She laughed in spite of herself. "There's nothing to forgive," She said, exasperated. "It's just me. It's always me—"

"Emma—"

"Killian, you traded away your ship, you've bought this house, you're asking me to move in—"

"I did it for you, Swan—"

"Don't you see, that's what terrifies me!" Emma's body wracked with her sobs and Killian pulled her closer, confused. "I'm worried I'm not enough for you. I've never been enough, for anyone, and I'm scared you'll wake up one day and you'll regret it and—"

"Emma, look at me," He said. When she ignored him, he rested his palm against her cheek and started tenderly kissing her tears away, his scruff tickling. "Please, look at me," He pleaded. Emma sniffled and complied. His eyes searched hers desperately.

"You're more than enough. Frankly, sometimes I worry that you're too much for me," He'd said it jokingly in an attempt to lighten the mood, but there was no humour in his eyes. He felt his chest swelling with emotion. _Gods he wanted to tell her that he loved her_. _So much_. But judging from her current state, he feared his declaration wouldn't be well received.

She started to say something, but he silenced her with a kiss, his lips salty with her tears. "You're enough, Emma. You're enough," He whispered against her lips over and over again between soft kisses until her sobs diminished and her breathing returned to normal. Emma wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. She closed her eyes, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Killian kissed her temple softly. For a while, they sat quietly on the floor, their breathing the only sound in the small room.

"God," Emma finally said, sniffling. Her voice making Killian jump. "I'm such a mess."

"Perhaps," He said, smiling against her hair. "But you're _my_ mess," Emma chuckled and kissed his cheek, her lips lingering. She tilted her head and surveyed him unabashedly, wondering what she had done to deserve this man. This patient, caring, devilishly attractive man.

"Come back to bed," He said interrupting her thoughts. His voice was commanding, but his face was wrought with doubt.

"Killian," She squirmed as he pulled her closer to him. "I really do have to go."

"It's still early, love," He murmured against her skin. "And after the night we shared, I would be sorely remiss if I let you leave unsatisfied now."

"Killian—"

"Emma, please don't go. Not like this." She hesitated for a moment, and then nodded against him. She wasn't ready to give up the feeling of his body pressed against hers, and the bathroom floor was cold. He scooped her up and carried her back to the bed, his body never fully leaving hers. He pulled the blankets back over them and pulled her close against him, recreating their position from earlier in the morning.

He had removed his brace sometime in the night and his appendage rested against her chest. Emma, only just noticing, gently explored his scars with her fingertips. She felt his body tense against hers apprehensively and he moved to pull his arm out from under her. She stopped his movement and cradled his arm against her.

"Apologies for the ugliness, love," He said, his voice quiet.

"There's nothing ugly about you," She said, placing a soft kiss along a jagged scar, touched at his vulnerability. "Not to me." Emma felt Killian smile widely against her skin as he pulled her even closer. He kissed her shoulder, his scruff burning her skin.

"Now," He whispered, his kisses moving from her shoulder down her arm. "Where were we Swan?"

"Hmm," Emma said playfully. She took his hand in hers and pushed him back between her legs. "I believe there was talk of _satisfaction_ ," She said, wiggling her behind against his length.

"Ah," He said with a smirk. "That's right, I remember now." His brushed one of his rings over her clit and a shudder rocked through her body.

"Seriously, how are you real?" She moaned delightedly as she felt his rapidly hardening member pressing against her. "You're insatiable."

"Only for you, Swan," He whispered, his breath hot against her neck. He groaned, as he slipped a long finger into her folds. "Gods, Emma. You're so wet."

"Only for you, Hook," Emma retorted, her voice raspy. She reached behind her and guided his now rock hard erection to her entrance. She needed to feel him, all of him. He entered her slowly, his hand pulling her hips against his. Emma moaned loudly, still a little sore from their romp the previous night, when he finally filled her to the hilt.

His chest felt rough against her back as he rocked against her. His hand found her nipple, pinching it, eliciting another contented moan from Emma. He held her tenderly, their love making passionate and sensual. While Emma thought their sex the previous evening had been wrought with passion, it was nothing compared to now. Last night had been desperate and rough and frantic. _This_ , _this was different_.

He twisted her hair in his hand and pulled her back gently, her head rolling against his shoulder. He took advantage of his newfound access by trailing open mouthed kisses and bites along her throat. She trembled against him, and he redoubled his efforts, his teeth lightly grazing her pulse. Emma reached her hand behind her to run her fingers through his hair, pulling lightly.

"Emma," He croaked, slowing his thrusts. "You're so tight like this." His hand sought hers and they laced their fingers together tightly.

"Come with me," She rasped. She twisted her body, lamenting the loss of his body pressed against her, but finding the desire to kiss him overwhelming. She crushed her lips to his, panting against him. Their eyes met and an electric current shot between them, their chemistry palpable. Sensing they were both close, Killian resumed his thrusts, rocking against her desperately. They came together, their release washing over them like a tsunami. Emma slumped against Killian, both of their chests rising and failing erratically. Their hands still intertwined together.

Emma twisted around to face Killian, winching slightly when he slipped out of her. She rested her head on his pillow, their noses almost touching. Their legs were intertwined beneath the blankets. "That was, intense," She whispered with a smile. "Thank-you for convincing me to stay."

"Aye," He replied, kissing the tip of her nose softly. "I should hope it was satisfying," He smirked, cocking his brow. She pulled him close and kissed him breathlessly in response. The sunlight danced across his face, highlighting his chiseled face. Emma reached up and brushed his hair away from his eyes. She smiled, when she saw the dept of emotion she felt reflected back at her in his eyes.

"I won't take it back," Killian said softly, his heart in his throat. "Because I meant it Swan, there's no one else for me. You're all I want." He brushed his nose against hers.

"Killian—" She started cautiously.

"Emma, just bloody listen." He interrupted. When she remained quiet and didn't pull away, he reached up and gently caressed her cheek. "The moment I saw this cottage, I pictured a life here. With you, and with Henry. I'm sorry that I asked you to move in before you were ready, but I am not remotely sorry that I asked you. I'll wait, for however long you need. I'll take on boarders—"

"It's just, I'm scared Killian, because I know that, we can only end in one of two ways." She rested her forehead against his chest, tears brimming behind her eyes. "Either we break up or, or this is it and we wind up together, forever."

"And that's so terrible, love?" He put hand on her chin and nudged her face back up to meet his gaze. His face was dark and Emma felt a pang in her chest when she saw the genuine hurt in his eyes. "Picturing us together?"

"No, no it's not," she said, running her palm along his scruff. "Not when it's like this," She kissed him softly. "But it can't stay like this forever, it never does. And then it always, _inevitably_ ends."

"Swan, have you ever considered that one day, they'll be someone in your life that'll make you see why it never worked with anyone else," _That maybe I am that someone_ , he thought.

Looking up at him, she felt like a damn of emotion broke inside of her. She knew she loved him. Hell she had probably always loved him. She laced her fingers behind his neck and crashed her lips to his. _She loved him. She loved him._

"Killian—" _I love you, so much it hurts_ , she thought.

"Yes, love," He said, his eyes twinkling. He trailed his thumb over her lips lightly.

"Killian," She whispered again. She heard how needy her voice sounded, but she couldn't help it. _Just say it. I love you. Just tell him…_ "Tell your tenants not to get too comfortable," She finished lamely. _God she was a coward._

"Aye, lass" He said, with a small smile. "As you wish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked what you read please give feedback! It's always appreciated :)


	6. Chapter 6

 

As it turned out, the Rabbit Hole had no issue with Emma claiming her coat, even though she had lost her coat check number. She supposed being royalty carried  _some_ benefits, which was why she'd brushed off Killian's offer to pick up her belongings for her. She had however, allowed him to lend her his coat so she would have some protection against the cold. The coat smelled like him,  _rum, and leather, and the sea._ Although she wasn't sure how that was even possible, since as far as Emma knew, Killian hadn't had a chance to take his new jacket anywhere near the ocean. Not that she cared terribly, she just loved the smell of him. She'd briefly considered wearing his jacket all day, but quickly decided against it, not willing to wave whatever she had with Hook in front of her parents' faces.

The only other highlight in her day was when David had been sweet enough to clear the snow off her bug. David had also mercilessly elected to not mention her _drink with Killian_ , for which she was truly grateful. She wasn't really sure what was going on between her and Killian and she didn't want to defend their relationship before she knew what it was. Other than that, her day had been filled with fruitless paperwork and frustrating dead ends. Although, Emma did find that she didn't find their lack of progress as annoying as she once had. A warm feeling of contentment had settled over her and for the first time in a long time, she felt confident that together they would figure it out. She stayed at the station long after everyone else left, trying to make up for her late arrival. She had also secretly hoped that Killian would stop by the station. When he didn't, she felt a small pang of disappointment. _You're being stupid,_ she admonished herself. _If you want to see him, call him. Don't play these games._ Instead she had packed up her belongings and headed home. She wanted to seem cool, not needy and desperate.

She flopped onto her bed, exhausted for more than one reason, her room in the same state of disarray she had left it in the previous day. While she had spent the day with an embarrassingly delirious grin on her face, alone in the dark she felt doubt slowly creeping in. She cringed when she recalled the look on Killian's face, _that she had put there,_ when she'd pulled away from him _._ Again _._ She knew most women would kill to have man like Hook ask for them to move in. She was beginning to think there was something wrong with the way she was wired. She thought she wanted to be happy, but then why did she sabotage herself at every turn? She knew deep down that it had to be related to her being abandoned as a child, even though she had forgiven David and Mary Margret for that long ago. _Some wounds just take longer to heal_.

"Emma," Mary Margret called from down the hall. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, in here," Emma called back, sighing softly. So far she had managed to avoid Mary Margret's prying questions, but she had a feeling her luck was running out. She doubted Mary Margret would give her the same space as David when it came to Hook.

"You got home late last night," Her mother said leaning against the doorway, a laundry basket against her hip. _More like this morning_ , Mary Margret thought.

"Sorry, I was with Killian and we just lost track of time…" A smile crossed Emma's face as she recalled just _how_ they had lost the time.

" _Killian_ , huh?" She mused nonchalantly. "I thought Red said Hook and Tinkerbelle were an item?" Mary Margret pried curiously. She tried to not to pay attention to idle gossip, but she didn't want Emma to be hurt, not when it seemed like she was finally letting someone in.

"No," Emma said confidently, flashes of their amorous activities playing in her mind. "They're not together."

"I knew it! David, David I was right," She yelled down the hall, making Emma cringe. "Tell me everything!" Mary Margret said excitedly, dropping the laundry and leaping onto Emma's bed. "Where did you go? What did you wear? What did he wear? Did—"

"Woah there," Emma said sitting up to meet her mother's eyes. She fought back a smile. This was what she had always wanted growing up, someone, _a parent_ , who cared what was going on with her life. "It was, nice," She said simply, her suppressed smile creeping onto her face as her thoughts turned to the way Killian's body had felt pressed against hers on the dance floor, how his lips had tasted at this cottage, the things his talented tongue were capable of. " _Really_ nice."

" _Nice…"_ Mary Margret sat perched on the bed, looking at her expectantly, clearly wanting more.

"Yeah," Emma said. "It was almost perfect actually."

"Almost?" Mary Margret cocked her head, her brows knit together in confusion.

"It's just, there's something wrong with me, or I'm just an idiot or something," Emma huffed, vocalizing her earlier doubts. Mary Margret said nothing. She just continued peering at Emma with her wide eyes. "He, he asked me to move in with him," Emma said expelling air from her lungs quickly and blushing. "And I didn't react well."

"Oh Emma," She said, chuckling.

"It's not funny!" Emma said, indignantly.

"I know, I'm sorry. Mary Margret reached out and squeezed Emma's hand in hers. "Don't get me wrong Emma, we _love_ having you and Henry here, but you have to do what makes you happy. You know I love your father," Her eyes twinkled when she mentioned David. "My _only_ regret was how long it took us to find each other. If you care about Hook and you think it's right then my advice is to not waste time."

"What if it isn't?" Emma asked, her voice small. "What if it isn't right?"

"Do you love him?" Mary Margret asked simply, without hesitation.

"Yes," Emma whispered, surprised she had the courage to admit it out loud.

"If you love him, the rest will work itself out," Mary Margret smiled broadly, her eyes brimming with tears. "And I think you have your answer," She said pulled Emma into a hug. Emma returned her embrace tightly.

"Thanks mom," Emma said truthfully.

* * *

Emma sat in her bug, the engine quiet, lights off, drumming her fingers nervously against the steering wheel. She cast her eyes over to the cardboard box on the seat beside her. The box held nothing important really, a plant, some books, assorted knickknacks, but Emma was trying to make a gesture. It was a bit surreal that this box full of odds and ends would be the first of her things she moved into Killian's, _into their_ , house. She'd never lived with anyone before and she felt apprehensive. _Way to play it cool, Emma,_ she thought harshly _._ She'd been sitting in the cold car long enough that her breath was visible in the air.

Gritting her teeth, she jumped out of the bug, her box securely under her arm. She didn't care if she seemed needy, she just wanted to be with him. _She didn't want to have any regrets._ The temperature had dropped dramatically in the past couple hours and the air was eerily still. Emma shivered against the ominous chill in the air. Carefully traversing the icy path, she raised her hand to knock, but then hesitated at the door. _What was the protocol here? Should she knock? Go right in? God she was so bad at this._ Fortunately she was saved from making a decision when the door was thrown open in front of her, her hand still hovering above it.

"Oh sorry Emma, thought you were the pizza," Tinkerbelle said smiling. She was wearing a tiny green robe, which didn't leave much to the imagination. She pulled it close against her as the cold steeped into the house.

"Uh, yeah," Emma said taking a surprised step back. Her thoughts ran wild. In her mind, she heard Gold's caution, _Once a pirate, always a pirate_. "I was just looking for Kil—for Hook," She stammered, trying to regain some control.

"He's just in the shower," Tink said, she looked annoyed to still be standing in the cold. "Do you want to come in and wait? Or should I just tell him you came by?"

_I thought Red said Hook and Tinkerbelle were an item?_ Mary Margret's voice whispered to her. "No, no, just, it's fine," Emma said already walking back to her bug. _Christ, how could she have been such an idiot._ She couldn't even blame him. She'd pushed him away again and again. How could she expect him to wait around for her? Of course she wasn't good enough. She'd never been before. Why would this time be different? Her stomach twisted as she reached for the handle of her bug. Her gloved hand was shaking so much she couldn't get the door open. She clenched her hand into a fist and closed her eyes, willing herself to breathe, the cold air burning her lungs. She felt like she was going to be sick.

"Emma?" Killian's voice called to her, as she heard the crunch of snow. She turned to look at him and she felt the feeling of dread evaporate, a white hot rage settling into her chest to replace it. He stood in front of her in nothing but a towel, his wet hair plastered to his head. "Apologies love, I was in the shower," He swaggered towards her, his hand the only thing keeping his towel closed. He was apparently still warm from the shower, as steam lightly trailed off his muscular body. "I was just thinking about you," He said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, his voice lilting.

"I should have called," She said harshly, finally opening the passenger door. Her anger stilling her hand. She dropped the box down unceremoniously. "Sorry I interrupted—"

"Don't think on it love. After last night you've proven you're far better than anything I could ever hope to conjure up," Killian said, smiling devilishly. When Emma didn't respond, his brow furrowed. "Emma, are you alright love? What's troubling you?"

"If I knew you and Tink," She spat out the other woman's name. "Were going to be otherwise occupied I never would have bothered you." She said slamming the car door roughly. She moved around the front of the car to get to the driver's side.

"Swan," He said with a smirk. "You're jealous." He walked up close to her, pressing her body against the car. She could feel the heat pooling off his body, even through her thick jacket. "It's just like the bloke from the other evening, love. There's nothing to be jealous of, I assure you."

"Stop it," Emma said, pushing him away from her. "Could you be more ridiculous? It's freezing out here. I can't talk to you like this." She gestured wildly to his whole body.

"Why love," He pressed against her again and she felt his growing length against her thigh. "See something you like? Am I too distracting?" He leaned in to kiss her, when his eyes became unfocussed as he looked behind her. "Swan, is that box what I think it is?" He asked, excitedly. "You've accepted my offer?" He beamed at her, his eyes crinkled and his dimples on full display, his skin beginning to turn pink from the cold.

"Well I was considering it earlier, but I think it might be too crowded with all the steamy showers you and your ex-girlfriend are taking," Emma said biting the inside of her cheek. She pulled the driver's door open, but Hook pushed it closed again.

"Emma," He said, his face serious. His bare feet were burning from the cold snow. "Do you think so little of me, love? Truly?"

_No, she didn't_. "I don't know anymore Killian," She said instead. She regretted her words immediately when she saw the hurt across his face. His eyes searched hers.

"Swan," He said, his voice tight and tears brimming behind his eyes. "Tinkerbelle is a boarder, like we discussed this morning. You have to—"

"I know I'm difficult, and I don't blame you, but," She met his fierce gaze with her own, even as tears started rolling down her face. "But you seriously couldn't wait a couple days to replace me? Wait until the sheets turned cold?"

"Emma you can't honestly I could ever hope to replace—"

"Just forget it Hook," Emma cut him off, jabbing him in the chest. "Don't worry about it. I'm going."

"Forgive me, Swan, I was under the impression that you were _staying_?" He spat the word angrily. "Am I to take it, this is what it looks like when _you're_ _not going anywhere_. Bloody hell, Emma you assured me a whole bloody twelve hours ago—" He paused, his breath ragged, his chest rising and failing roughly. His impossibly blue eyes bore into hers. "Emma, please. Just tell me you trust me?"

_Once a pirate, always a pirate._ Emma hesitated, only for a moment, but it was enough that he noticed. He recoiled as if she'd slapped him, his entire body tense.

"Bloody hell, you don't trust me do you? Gods Swan, after all we've been through, all we've shared…" His eyes overflowed with emotion and he reached for her with his arm, wishing not for the first time he had two hands. _Gods knew he needed them to deal with this woman._

They both turned their heads as they saw headlights approaching. The car cut its lights and a stocky man stepped out holding the pizza box. "Everything alright 'ere?" He asked, his eyes warily trailing over Killian's bare form and Emma's tear stained face.

"Yeah, it's fine," Emma sniffled. "Or it will be anyways." She shrugged out of Killian's grasp, pulled the door open roughly and started her car.

"Emma," Killian called, banging on the window. "Swan, stop for a moment, I'm begging you." She ignored his pleas and floored it. Her tires spinning and skidding in the slush. She narrowly avoided hitting the pizza delivery truck, her vision clouded with tears.

She drove aimlessly, for kilometres, leaving her foot on the accelerator until she fishtailed so violently she almost went in the ditch. She shifted her car to park where it had landed and rested her forehead on the steering wheel, sobbing wholeheartedly, adrenaline rushing through her veins. She felt wretched. _God, she had cried more in the last two weeks then in the rest of her life combined_ , she thought as the tears streamed down her face. She tried to collect her thoughts. She knew she had to figure out what to tell Henry. He had been so excited when she'd mentioned moving in with Hook. _He's probably at home packing,_ she thought banging her head against the wheel.

Sniffling, she reached in her coat's deep pockets, looking for a tissue. Her fingers closed around something foreign and she pulled it out, curious. She groaned when she saw it was the tape from Gold. She still hadn't watched it. She dropped it roughly in the box with her things. _Maybe she wouldn't bother watching it and Hook and his new fling could see how they liked it back on the streets._ She shifted the bug into drive and continued back to the apartment. Unbidden, Killian's look of adoration when he'd opened the door to his house flooded her memory. _Goddammit,_ she cursed as she turned her car towards the Sheriff's Station instead, the only place in town she was certain had a VHS player. She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. _Just because he didn't care about her happiness didn't mean she wanted to hurt him_.

* * *

Emma starred blankly at the dark screen, the tape long since finished. She felt numb. She knew she had to get back home, to talk to Henry, but she couldn't force her limbs to obey any commands. She wrung her hands nervously. _What was she going to do?_ Her gaze drifted over to the desk where she had found Killian only yesterday. _How could everything change so quickly?_ She vaguely heard the door to the station open, still lost in her thoughts. The dim television screen the only illumination in the station.

"Swan," He called hesitantly. _Of course it would be him. Of course he would force her to deal with this immediately._ She stopped the tape and then rewound it, the VCR humming loudly. She closed her eyes. She felt more than saw the light flick on.

"Emma, I've turned this town upside down searching for you," He said. She heard him drag a chair closer to her. She opened her eyes and met his gaze, his face wrought with concern. "Love, can we talk? Please."

"Absolutely," Emma said angling her chair to face him, her face hard. Relief erupted across Killian's face as sat. "Let's start with this," She said as she pressed play on the tape from Gold. The screen lit up with images of Killian holding the old man to the chair roughly, magic tearing him apart.

"Where did you get this?" Killian asked, his face pained and his jaw tightly clenched. "From the Crocodile I presume?" He hesitated, clenching his hand into a fist. His mouth felt so dry. "Was this the price of the cottage?" _How could it not be_ , he thought. _Everything comes with a price._

"Doesn't matter," Emma replied simply. "What does, is that you have two hands," She said softly, willing the emotion she felt bubbling up inside of her to stay out of her voice. "So the question is, was this video taken before I knew you, or," He voice caught. "Or was it taken around the time of our first date?"

"Swan, it's not what it looks like I assure you," He croaked. He reached for her hand, but she pulled away. He flinched at her reaction, but said nothing.

"Then what is it Hook?" She snapped. "Because it doesn't look good."

"Emma, please. I promise, I'll explain everything. I've made a terrible mistake, but we can fix this. I just need you to trust me," His hand reached for hers again when the door to the Sheriff's station opened. This time, David barged in.

"We have a problem," He said. He cast a glance at the heated exchange between his daughter and the pirate and the grainy video playing behind them. He shook his head and opted to just ignore all of it. "The Snow Queen's back, there's reports coming in that she's heading towards the clock tower."

"Let's go," Hook said rising, his eyes dark. If Emma didn't believe his days of being a villain were over, he would just have to make her believe him with his actions now.

"You're not going anywhere Hook," Emma said pulling his wrist behind his back. He flinched when he felt the cold metal and the telltale click of her handcuffs. "We'll sort out this video tape when I'm done with the Snow Queen."

"Love," Killian groaned. "I know you have a penchant for restraining me, but now is _not_ the time for this." Emma rolled her eyes and tightened the cuffs in response.

"Emma, I am serious! You can bloody trust me," He hissed, struggling against the cuffs as she pushed him towards the cells. "I won't run."

"I believe him," David said to Emma shrugging. "He's proven he's not going anywhere," Emma shot David a dirty look.

"Really?" She asked incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me. You decide _now_ , of all times, to take his side?" She motioned to the tape still playing on the TV beside her.

"I am sure there's an explanation," David shrugged again.

"Aye, mate, I assure you there is." Hook nodded quickly.

"See," David said. "Besides, Hook could come in handy, like if we need someone to draw fire."

"I support the sentiment, although I should note," Hook interjected, his voice lilting. "I offer many talents aside from being cannon fodder."

Emma sighed heavily. She reached into her pocket for the key and unlocked the cuffs, careful to touch Killian only as much as was absolutely necessary, her hurt and anger still brewing just under the surface.

"Thanks mate," Killian said to David. "Nice to know there's someone in this town who trusts me," He said looking wishfully at Emma. "Hopefully there will be more joining your ranks before this is over."

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously this is not in keeping with the Snow Queen's plan/motive in the show, but I've had this story rattling around in my head for forever! So thanks for sticking with it!

 

A crowd of people were already gathered around the clock tower when David, Hook and Emma arrived. They'd ridden together in David's truck and suffice it to say, the short ride had been a little awkward. Emma climbed out of cab, ignoring Hook when he offered his hand to help her down. She refused to acknowledge his hurt glance, choosing instead to survey the scene in front of her. There was a think sheet of ice trailing up the walls of the old building and a nervous energy in the air. The air was oppressively still and unbearably cold. Everyone was huddled together for warmth under the streetlights. The stars were hidden behind dark clouds heavy with snow.

"She's inside," Snow said, an arrow drawn loosely on her bow. "I've been trying to keep everyone out, but they're not happy about it." The mob grumbled angrily behind Mary Margret to underscore her comment.

"Good work, but let's keep them back," David said resting his hand on Snow's shoulder. "We don't want anyone getting hurt." She nodded and turned to address the crowd when the library's doors were thrown open. The Snow Queen stepped into the street, ice trailing away from her. The crowd took a collective step back, clearly more interested in talk than action.

"There's nowhere to run," Emma called, with her gun drawn. "Do yourself a favour and just come quietly."

"I have no intention of running," The Snow Queen said, her voice sugary sweet. "Not when you're going to help me get what I want."

"And why would we do that?" Killian asked cockily, resting his hook on his belt.

"Because if you don't," She snapped her fingers and a large glass enclosure magically appeared around Emma. "You'll lose your precious Saviour." Emma pounded her fists against the clear wall, the noise echoing loudly around her.

"Swan," Killian yelled, scrapping his hook against the glass frantically, to no avail. Around him, the gathering crowd screamed. Most scurried away, unwilling to be trapped in a glass cage of their own. Only a few stragglers remained. Killian's voice, and everything else, sounded strangely muffled to Emma's ears.

"It won't break, that I promise you." The Snow Queen continued, ignoring the chaos unfolding around her. "The only way to free her, is to give me what I want."

"Which is what?" David said, tensely resting his hand on his gun holster.

"This is a very old spell," The Snow Queen said smiling and holding up a torn scroll. "As you can see, it's damaged. You're going to tell me what is missing. And in case you need a little motivation…" She snapped her fingers again, and a light sprinkling of snow started to fall within the glass sphere, making it seem like Emma was trapped in a snow globe. Emma shivered and wrapped her arms around herself tightly as a gust of wind blew in the orb. "I'd guess you have, two, maybe three hours before Miss. Swan succumbs to the cold. And we don't want that."

An arrow shot towards the Queen, but she disappeared in a flurry of snowflakes before it could find its mark. The scroll dropped to the ground. Mary Margret dropped her bow and jogged towards her daughter. She soundlessly rested her hand over Killian's hook to still his fruitless efforts as he had yet to scratch the surface. Killian's face twisted and he slid to his knees, breathing heavily.

"Emma, what about your magic?" Mary Margret called loudly.

Emma nodded to show she understood. She pressed her palms against the glass and closed her eyes, her brow furrowed in concentration. A white glow enveloped the glass, it's heat radiating warmly in all directions. The snow fall inside the glass prison intensified, becoming a blizzard, obstructing Emma from their vision.

"Stop, Emma, stop," David yelled, banging against the glass to get her attention. The blizzard slowly fizzled back to its previous level. Emma frowned when she saw that the brief flurry had piled snow up to her knees. She struggled against it, freeing her legs and pushing the snow into a pile behind her. The snow biting at her bare hands. She wished she had been wearing her gloves.

"You, dwarf," Killian said gesturing to Leroy. "Go to the mine. Get one of your bloody magical axes."

"Good idea," David said. "Leroy take the truck," He said tossing the keys. "And hurry."

"No kidding," Leroy said as he caught the keys. He jogged to the truck and barrelled away from them. David's taillights disappearing into the night.

"There's only two people in this town who have a hope of figuring this scroll out," David said as he reached down and picked the scroll up off the ground. "Gold and Regina. I'm calling Regina. Snow, you call Gold."

"You can't be serious. This is exactly what the Snow Queen wants," Mary Margret protested.

"I'm not going to lose my daughter, not again." David replied tersely. "If you have another idea, I'm up for it." Mary Margret bit the inside of her cheek and then pulled out her phone.

"Emma, lass, don't fret," Killian said, while her parent's were preoccupied on their devices. His tone was casual, but his face was wrought with worry. "We'll have you out in no time, love. I promise. I'll stay here with you until then." He wished desperately that he could hold her in his arms. That their positions were reversed. _Gods, he felt so useless._ Emma nodded and rested her forehead against the glass, her breath fogging the cold surface.

* * *

Henry and Regina sat in the vault, leafing through its contents. They were trying to match the scroll by sight to something in one of her dusty books. Regina's eyes felt dry and strained. They had been at this for almost two hours already. She was beginning to feel doubtful she had the answers they were seeking. She snuck a glance at Henry and pinched the bridge of her nose. He would be devastated if something happened to his birth mother. The thought spurred her on and she pulled another book from the shelf. _If they couldn't find what the Snow Queen was after, maybe she could find something to free Miss. Swan._

"That was Snow," David said putting his phone back in his pocket as he walked down the stairs. "She and Gold struck out, so tell me you have some good news."

"Here," Henry said, holding the torn scroll over the page in the book. "This matches, it's exactly the same!" Regina walked to Henry's side, comparing the pages. Her stomach twisted as comprehension settled over her.

"This spell is dark," Regina said tracing the words on the page. "Very, very dark."

"You found it? You know what the Snow Queen needs?" David said, looking Henry's shoulder. His brows furrowed at the foreign writing.

"Yes, but it's not good news," Regina said, frustrated. "We can't tell her what she's missing. There's a reason someone destroyed the original. If Ingrid has this information, a lot more people besides Miss. Swan are going to be hurt."

"We have to help my other mom," Henry said, his voice pained. "We're the heroes, it's what we do."

"Henry's right," David said. "Emma is going to die, soon, if we don't act. We'll give the Queen this and then sort the rest out later. Together."

"Mom, please," Henry said clutching the book tightly.

Regina pursed her lips tightly and nodded. "I just hope you're right Charming, for all our sakes."

* * *

Killian sat beside the orb, his shoulder resting against the glass. He was starring intently at Emma, the dwarf pickaxe beside him. Emma was curled up in a ball, shivering, her back resting against the glass wall. She sat on a pile of snow, and more was packed high above her. The orb was more than half filled, which presumably explained Emma's position. That, or the cold. Occasionally Emma brushed more snow off of herself, but her movements were languid. Her limbs stiff from the cold. They were running out of time.

Mary Margret watched them for a moment. They were huddled close enough to each other it would have been an intimate, had there not been thick glass between them. She wished Gold had been able to do something, but he had insisted that his shop held nothing that could be of any use to them. She wasn't sure she believed him, but she knew if he wasn't willing to help them, there was little she could do. Not without leverage. And unfortunately that was something she was sorely lacking.

"Didn't work?" Snow said motioning to the axe as she walked to Killian.

"No," Killian said, his voice soft. "It just dropped more bloody snow on her."

"It was a good idea," Mary Margret said.

"Would have been, had it worked." Hook retorted. His shoulders were slumped and his face was drawn. He looked defeated. Snow moved to comfort him, but before she could, she heard the crunch of snow. She turned and saw David jogging to them. Regina and Henry followed closely behind. David was waving something in his hand

"We got it, we know what the Snow Queen is looking for," He called, triumphantly.

"Thank God," Mary Margret said, hugging him tightly. "I was getting worried."

"Hold off on the celebration there. Aye, you've found it, but how in the bloody hell are we supposed to contact the Snow Queen?" Killian asked.

"We have it," David yelled to the sky. "We have what you're looking for." They all cast their eyes up to the sky, but were met with nothing but silence.

"Brilliant," Killian said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Emma is freezing in there. We have to do—"

"What do you think I've been doing?" David yelled, this time at Hook. "More than just starring and making puppy dog eyes at her while—"

"Hey!" Emma called, banging on the glass, making them all jump. "Cut it out."

"Emma's right," Mary Margret said. "We have to work together. What is it the Snow Queen needs?"

"A cold heart, willingly given," Regina said. "Once she has it she'll be able to enact a powerful curse."

"What?" Emma yelled.

"A cold heart," Henry yelled to his mother. Emma's own heart dropped like a heavy stone in her chest. _A cold heart, now who does that sound like,_ she thought. Behind the walls she'd built, she'd ensured no warmth could ever reach her heart. She cast her gaze to Killian, deep in conversation with her parents, and felt tears brimming behind her eyes. She would never get a chance to apologize, to make things right between them. She knew he was devoted to her. Of course Tinkerbelle was just a boarder. She didn't even care about the videotape, not really. She felt an overwhelming sense of regret that she'd ever pushed him away. It was suffocating.

_Well at least her decision was easy,_ she thought with a small smile _._ She would die inside the globe, taking her cold heart with her. That way whatever plan the Snow Queen had would never come to fruition. That way Killian, Henry and everyone else in Storybrooke would be safe. She knew she wouldn't have long to wait. She could no longer feel her limbs. Every breath she took was agony, the cold air burning her chest. Each passing minute she felt her pulse grow more and more faint. She turned her head back to Henry, his concerned face peering at her. She blinked away her tears.

"Hey kid," Emma called to Henry. "You know I love you right?"

"Yeah mom, of course," Henry yelled. "I love you too. But don't talk like that, we're getting you out!"

Hearing them shouting, Killian turned and walked back toward them. He pressed his hand flat against the glass and smiled. She quirked her brow at him, wondering how he had known what she was thinking. _She was always such an open book to him_. She placed her palm against his, the glass separating them. She wished she could tell him everything she was thinking, but she felt so tired, so weak. Her mind felt fuzzy. She settled for just looking deeply into his eyes, those clear blue eyes. Hoping he'd read her like he always did.

Killian swallowed deeply. He'd dealt with enough evil Queens in his long life to know that this Ice Queen would not be satisfied with simply information. He was prepared to do whatever it took to ensure Emma's safety. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but looking into her fierce green eyes, he too was at a loss for words. His sentiment would probably be diminished had he screeched it at her through the glass anyways. She smiled at him faintly, her lips a worrying shade of blue.

"Regina is going to try a summoning spell," David said without looking at the pirate. Regina stood away from them, a dark light shooting between her fingers surrounding an ice cream keychain. Her eyes were closed in concentration. Suddenly there was a flurry of snow. Icy cold wind blew all around them, taking their breath away.

"She's coming," Regina yelled, grabbing Henry and pulling him close. As suddenly as it had started, the snowfall stopped. The Snow Queen stood in front of them, her arms crossed in front of her.

"Apparently I've been summoned," The Snow Queen said icily. "I take it you've discovered what I am after."

"We have," David said carefully, unwilling to give any information away before his daughter was freed.

"Wonderful," The Snow Queen said. "I'm so glad we were able to work this out. Give it to me and Emma goes free."

"You said you just wanted to know what was on the scroll," Regina said. "Not to find the ingredients."

"Well the terms have changed," The Snow Queen replied. "Give it to me, or Emma dies." Her eyes flashed and the globe holding Emma was suddenly engulfed in a blizzard. Killian's stomach twisted, and for once he hated that he was right.

"You need a cold heart, given willingly," Henry cried. "Stop please! You're killing her!"

"There now," The Queen said. The blizzard stopped and Emma was buried up to her waist. She coughed to clear her throat and brushed ice away from her face. "Now, who is going to give it to me?"

"I'll think of you love," Killian whispered against the glass. "Everyday. For as long as I live." Emma motioned that she hadn't heard him, but he pulled away without repeating his words. He sauntered over to David and Mary Margret, his face set. Killian grabbed David's arm. "Do me a favour mate, and tell Emma," He hesitated, collecting his thoughts. _That I love her, that I always have_ , he thought. But there was no sense putting those thoughts in her head. Not when he'd never see her again. "Tell her. I'm sorry, truly."

"Hook, you can't be serious," Snow whispered, shooting a worried glance at Emma. "Please tell me you're not thinking what I think you are."

"Aye, we're out of time. _Emma_ ' _s_ out of time," He said fiercely, his resolve set.

"There **must** be another way. One of us could go inste—" Snow began.

"The Queen would have to be daft to believe any of the Charmings have a cold heart," He interrupted with a smirk. "Besides, you have your boy, Neal. He needs you. Swan has you, and Henry. I have," _Emma,_ he thought. _Or at least he wished he had her._ He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Hell, let's just say I'm well suited to this task, aye?"

"She might never forgive you for this, or us for that matter," David said solemnly, turning to meet Hook's eyes.

"Perhaps," Hook said. "But she'll be alive. And I can live with that." David nodded and shook the pirate's hand roughly.

"This isn't over Hook," Mary Margret said. "We'll figure out a way to get you back." Killian nodded and turned back to face Emma. She looked at him, her face confused.

"Well," Ingrid asked again, her tone impatient.

"I'm a bloody pirate love," Killian said swaggering towards the Queen, still starring at Emma. "200 years of solitude and loss has made my heart positively icy."

Emma, realizing what was happening, started screaming his name, her cries muffled by the orb and the snow. She banged her fists on the glass roughly.

"But since then you've loved Emma, cared for her at least." The Queen smiled at him. "Love warms a heart like nothing else."

"A passing dalliance," Hook lied easily, waving his hand. He tore his eyes away from Emma and met the Snow Queen's hard stare. "Just this evening Swan discovered me with another woman. Ask her, broke the poor lass's heart."

"Killian," Emma screamed. "Stop, don't do this!"

"She seems like she's forgiven you," The Snow Queen said motioning towards Emma.

"Well, I think you'll find I have that effect on women," He said cocking his eyebrow. "It's a curse, really. Doesn't change how I feel towards her."

"Very well," The Queen said with a smile, walking towards Hook.

"Now, just a minute there, lass" Hook said, taking a step back. "The scroll said you need the heart to be given willingly?"

"Are you not giving it freely?" She said clenching her fist.

"Aye, it's yours. After you release Swan," He said. It took every ounce of strength he had to not look at Emma, her cries ringing in his ears.

"If you don't care for her, what does it matter?"

"I'm a pirate," He said flashing his teeth. "Nothing comes for free, and all that." The Snow Queen contemplated him for a moment.

"Very well," She said as she snapped her fingers and a portal opened up beside her. "Step through the portal, _willingly_ , and you have my word Emma will be freed." She smiled sweetly at them and stepped through herself, disappearing before them.

"Don't let him," Emma sobbed. "Please, someone stop him." She could feel the exertion taking its toll on her body, as her vision narrowed, darkness moving in around her. Her hands were throbbing from the glass and from the cold, but she didn't let up.

"Hook," David said grabbing his arm. "We can still find another way."

"There's not time," Killian said, motioning to Emma and pulling free.

"Are you sure about this Captain?" Regina asked. "This is very old magic, I doubt very much that we can follow you."

"Aye," He said without hesitation. "I'll gladly sacrifice myself for Swan. There's not much I wouldn't do for her." He finally looked at Emma, his eyes boring into her, trying to remember every freckle, every stray hair, every detail about her. "Just find a way to defeat this curse that's coming? I'd prefer to have you all remember my sacrifice for many years."

"We will," Snow said. Her voice steady, although tears slipped down her cheek.

"Alright then," He said simply. He looked to Emma one last time, wanting her face to be the last thing he saw. He smiled and walked backwards through the portal. It closed behind him and then he was gone.

"Nooo," Emma cried. She fell to her knees, the glass enclosure gone, the snow that had been in the orb with her billowed onto the ground with a flourish. Her body wracked with sobs. Every part of her ached, from the cold, from the loss. She was shivering uncontrollably.

"Emma, it'll be okay," Mary Margret said hugging Emma tightly. "But right now we have to get you warm."

"How could you let him go," Emma sobbed. "He doesn't even have a cold heart. It's warm, it's—"

"I know, I know," She cooed softly. "David, we have to get her home, now. She's freezing."

David scooped Emma up in his arms and quickly carried her to the cab of his truck. "We'll find him Emma. I promise," He said softly, with more confidence than he felt. "That's our family does remember? We find each other." His voice sounded faint to Emma's ears as the cold, the exertion, the stress, and the loss, finally overcame her and she slipped out of consciousness. Her last waking thoughts of Killian and his warm heart.

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

Snow fell lightly outside. Emma lounged on the soft leather couch, a pillow propped behind her back and a book in her hands. Her golden locks fell around her shoulders and she had a blissful smile on her lips. She was wearing nothing but one of Killian's button down shirts and a thick pair of socks. She was still getting accustomed to the cool hardwood floor at their cottage. Although, the socks were currently unnecessary, as the cottage was positively toasty. She crossed her legs as the fireplace crackled warmly in the heath in front of her.

"Hot cocoa?" Killian said walking towards her, balancing two cups in his hand.

"With cinnamon?" She asked, directing her smile towards him.

"Always," He said, bending down to hand her the mug. He placed a soft kiss on her cheek, his scruff tickling, before he sat on the couch next to her. She'd lifted her legs without being asked and rested her thighs on his lap. They'd settled into this lazy Sunday routine long ago, and she loved it. _Loved him_.

"Why is it you look so much better in my clothes than I do, love?" He said, his eyes trailing hungrily over her bare legs. His hand followed his gaze, gently tracing patterns along her skin. Even after all this time, his touch still sent a shiver through her.

She curled her toes and smirked, fully aware that he knew _exactly_ how he looked in his clothes. And perhaps more importantly, _he knew how_ _she thought_ he looked in them. Unwilling to stroke his already inflated ego, she simply brandished her book towards him. "Read to me?"

"As you wish, love," He said, taking the book from her, his fingers brushing hers, sending another delightful shock down her body.

She sipped her cocoa and leaned back, letting his lilting voice wash over her. The story was lost on her, as her focus remained on Hook. Her eyes trailed over his hair, still adorably mussed from bed, to his eyes, clear and blue and full of love, to his lips, just begging to be kissed. She felt warm and fuzzy and deliriously happy. The once unfamiliar feeling she could only describe as bliss, warmly filling her chest. The warmth from the fire, and from her lightheartedness, enveloped her. Unable to control herself, she sat up and traced her thumb lightly over his lips. He bit her thumb gently, a playful smile on his face.

"How I am to read when you distract me so Swan?" Saying nothing, she ran her hand along his scruff, and then pulled his lips to hers. She kissed him deeply, trailing her tongue over his bottom lip. As always, he wasted no time in responding eagerly. He dropped the book and cupped her face with his hand, pulling her closer. When she finally pulled away they were both breathless.

"I love you Killian Jones, totally and completely." She said, her thumb lightly stroking his face. "I should have told you from the moment I first saw you. I regret _every second_ I let go by without saying it. I love you."

"I will never get tired of hearing that," He laughed and pulled her onto his lap. "Nor will I ever tire of saying that I love you too, Emma," He kissed her palm and looked deeply into her eyes, where Emma saw the depth of emotion she felt reflected back at her. "More and more with each passing day." He kissed her, languidly. Emma smiled against his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I never thought I would have this," She said with a contented sigh as she rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart and the soft crackle of the fire.

"Have what, love?" Killian asked, his hand gently toying with her hair.

"This. You. Happiness," She said, kissing him again. "Love."

"Aye," Killian said, bumping his nose against hers, his eyes shining. "It's just a shame it's not real."

Her world suddenly swayed. The warmth that consumed her was gone in an instant and a cold dread settled over her bones. Her vision swimming as everything, _everything but Killian_ , danced around her.

"This isn't real love," Killian said with a sad smile. "You have to wake up."

"No, no. I love you. Please, no," Emma said, clinging to him desperately. Suddenly she was back in the orb, glass once again separating her from Killian. "No," She called again, banging on the glass as he stood in front of the portal.

"Emma, you have to wake up," He said, his blue eyes piercing. Emma could almost feel the sorrow dripping off his body in waves. He stepped through the portal and he was gone. Emma was alone. _She always ended up alone._ And then she was falling.

She screamed, or she tried to, but she was suffocating. Something was covering her mouth and her cries were strangled in her throat. Strange lights and sounds blinked around her. She tried to sit up, to get her bearings, but a weight on her chest held her down. She vaguely noted that warm blankets covered her body. Tubes pushed some sort of liquid into her veins.

"Emma, you have to relax," Dr. Whale said, standing over her, his hand on her arm. "Do you know where you are? Blink once for no, twice for yes."

Frantic, Emma cast her eyes around her and took in the unfamiliar surroundings. Her heart was racing and every inch of her ached, a strange burning, tingling feeling coursing through her. She blinked once.

"You're in the ICU. You presented with respiratory and cardiac failure, secondary to hypothermia. You had to be endotracheally intubated and placed on a mechanical ventilator. Blink twice if you understand."

Emma blinked twice. She was in the hospital. The cold made her heart and lungs stop. A machine was breathing for her. _Awesome._

"Good," He said with a smile. "You're breathing on your own now, so I am going to remove the tube. But you have to stay calm."

Emma blinked twice again. Dr. Whale removed the tube and Emma coughed, the sensation not exactly painful but certainly unpleasant.

"How—" She croaked, her throat throbbing.

"It's best you don't talk, at least until—"

"How long was I out?" Emma interrupted, ignoring Dr. Whale. Her voice sounded raspy and foreign. The doctor rolled his eyes, muttering something about difficult patients, as he cast his eyes over the machines, whizzing and beeping around her.

"A couple hours," Snow said, reaching for her hand. Her eyes were brimming with tears. David sat perched on the chair beside his wife. "We were so worried."

"And Killian?" She asked. She wanted to sit up, but summoning the energy was proving difficult.

"No news yet," Snow said, shifting in her chair and glancing at David. "But Regina's working on a way to reopen the portal." The Snow Queen had already had Killian for a couple hours. She wouldn't get more time, not if Emma could do anything about it. _That was all the motivation she needed._ She tugged roughly at the tubes in her arms and moved to get up from the bed.

"Emma, Emma, you have to calm down," David said, his hands suddenly on Emma's shoulders, firmly pressing her towards the bed. He was trying to be calm, but his voice shook, betraying his worry. Emma felt so weak, she was easily subdued. Her chest felt tight and her breathing was ragged.

"Your father's right Emma. You need to rest. Your core temperature is still dangerously low. You need a bretylium tosylate injection for your tachycardia—" Dr. Whale began.

"Whale. English. Please," Snow said, her voice shrill.

"Emma's heart rate is too fast and she is still too cold, if she doesn't get this injection, her heart could stop again." He said, holding a syringe. David and Mary Margret nodded simultaneously and Dr. Whale injected it into the IV bag.

The room spun before Emma's eyes as the IV dripped into her veins, the sensation cool and uncomfortable as the medication trickled into her body. She felt lightheaded. She fought to maintain consciousness, but black spots clouded her vision.

"I don't understand," David said, pulling a heated blanket back up to cover Emma. "She was trapped in ice before and she was fine. Cold, but fine."

"The story around town was that she was trapped in a cave," Dr. Whale said. "She would have been cold, but protected from the elements. The snow and the wind inside the globe lowered her body temperature considerably more this time. She is lucky to be alive. She'll be fine, but she needs to take it easy."

"That's not likely. Not when _she_ has _him,_ " Snow said quietly, her attempt at a coded message laughable.

"We'll restrain her if that's what it takes—" David said.

"Gold," Emma rasped interrupting them. She felt in her bones that he knew more about the Queen's plan than he let on. He always did. And he certainly knew something about that damn VHS tape. "I want to talk to him." She said roughly.

"Of course," David said with a nod. "Just rest now, we'll talk to Gold." He squeezed Emma's hand. Emma closed her eyes against the blurry hospital room. She tried to recall the warm fire, and the cocoa, and Killian's embrace, but the harder she tried, the more quickly her dream slipped away. And then there was nothing but blackness when drugs finally prevailed over her iron will and she fainted.

* * *

Emma sat in Granny's, tightly holding a large mug in her hands, her shoulders slumped. The mug had long grown cold in her hands, although it was still full. She wished it was something stronger than hot chocolate. Only a few patrons sat in the diner and it was quiet, but she could feel their glances. She sighed heavily. She was the Saviour. _The Goddamn Saviour_. And she was useless. It had been days since Killian had been taken and they were nowhere closer to being able to get him back. _Days._

Regina was still working on finding a way to reopen the portal, or to track wherever the Snow Queen's portal had gone. She'd finally grown tired of Emma's hovering and shoed her away, claiming she was nothing more than a distraction. Unable to face the pitying glances of her parents and Henry at home, she'd come here. And she'd sat here, nursing this hot cocoa. For hours.

She felt bile bite her throat as he thoughts turned to Gold. Her interrogation of him had given her nothing. The only thing Gold had been forthcoming about was that blasted tape he'd given her. After decoding his sly remarks, it was as she had surmised. Killian had wanted two hands and Gold had taken advantage of his vulnerability. Her stomach twisted as she racked her brain, trying to think of a time when she had ever made Killian feel that he wasn't enough. That he wasn't perfect just the way he was. Anything that had driven him to make a deal with that imp.

_Speaking of the imp._ For a man that seemed to have a hand in everything, he was suspiciously in the dark about everything else Emma had questioned him about. Gold knew _nothing_ of the Snow Queen's plan. He had _no idea_ where she'd taken Hook. He assured her there was _no magic_ in this realm capable of reaching him, wherever he was. Her superpower told her that he was lying through his teeth, but in what was becoming her now signature _unsaviour_ style, she had no idea what to do about it.

"Hi Emma," Tinkerbelle said, interrupting Emma's thoughts.

"Hey Tinkerbelle," Emma said, pushing her cold cocoa away from her slightly.

"Tink's good," She said nervously fiddling with something in her hands. "Um, do you mind if I join you?"

"Sure," Emma said gesturing to the booth across from her. Tinkerbelle sat, daintily.

"Emma, I'm sorry to intrude, but I really just wanted to talk to you about that night—"

"Tinkerbelle, Tink," Emma corrected quickly. "I know, really you don't have to—"

"It's just, it's important to me that you know that there's nothing between Killian and I and—"

"I know. Really Tink, I do," Emma said with a small, sad smile.

"I've moved back to Granny's," Tinkerbelle returned her smile and placed a large key on the table between them. "And I thought you should have this." Emma recognized it as the key to the cottage.

"Oh Tink, no, it's fine. You don't have to—" Emma started.

"I do." She said, pushing the key closer to Emma. "He _always_ meant to live there with you. And it's strange being there now, without him," The fairy said, pausing for a moment. "He loved you, Emma. So much."

" _Loves_ ," Emma said, her voice catching. "He _loves_ me." _And I love him,_ she thought _._ Her fingers closed around the key and she swallowed thickly. She could feel tears threatening. "Thanks for this," She said putting the key in her pocket. She dropped some crumbled bills on the table without looking. She hoped it was close to the correct amount, but she had no idea. She slid out of the booth and walked towards the door. She vaguely heard Tink call something to her as she left the diner, but she didn't turn back. The bell over the door ringing loudly as she went.

She was absolutely certain there was nothing between the fairy and Killian, _at least not anymore_ , but after Tinkerbelle's slip with her tenses she felt so overwhelmed. She was not willing to let Tinkerbelle see how upset she was. _To see how useless the Saviour was._ She couldn't bear to face yet another person who thought Killian wasn't coming back. That he was…dead. She knew he wasn't. She would know if something happened to him. She would feel it in her bones. _Wouldn't she?_ Her hands deep in her pockets she walked aimlessly, lost in her thoughts. _What was the point being the Saviour if she couldn't even save him?_

Tears began to trickle down her cheeks and she shivered against the cold. _God, she wished she could talk to him._ She hadn't realized how much she had come to depend on him. His encouragement, his unwavering belief that she would succeed. She wiped her tears and continued her shuffling journey. She couldn't go back to the apartment, not like this. She wished she had her own place, so she could wallow, just for a minute. She slid her hand back into her pocket and her fingers bumped against the key. She sniffled and wiped her nose against the back of her sleeve, as her steps became more purposeful.

Minutes later, the lock clicked open easily and she stepped inside, banging the snow off her boots. The house was quiet and cold. She felt more relaxed just being here. The cottage reminded her of Killian and she felt closer to him. Walking into the kitchen, she realized with a start that it also reminded her a bit of her New York apartment. She smiled when she imagined Killian seeing the cottage for the first time, his keen eye easily picturing them living here. Together. She wished she had been able to see it sooner.

Scratches on the pale marble island caught Emma's eye. She blushed, despite being alone, when she realized she'd put them there with her heels the last time she had been here. _God, that seemed like years ago._ She trailed her fingers over it almost reverently. She felt the overwhelming sadness she'd been trying to keep at bay bubbling inside her chest. She expelled a ragged breath and walked to the bedroom. Her desire to wallow threatening to consume her. Her heart twisted when she saw the room was almost identical to the last time she'd been here, the sheets still rumpled on the bed. She pulled off her boots and lay down, wrapping herself in the thick blankets. She pressed her face against the pillow, breathing in deeply. The sheets smelt faintly of him.

Just as she was beginning to fully give into the nostalgia, her phone chirped loudly jarring her back to the present. She sighed and pulled it out to look at the display. It was probably her parents, wondering where she was. _Trying to encourage her to have hope. Urg._ Her heart jumped when she saw it was Regina calling. She sat up and clumsily dropped her phone onto the floor.

"Goddammit," She cursed, rolling out of the bed. She dropped to the floor and reached under the bed to retrieve her still ringing phone. Feeling blindly under the bed, her hand caught a file folder and she pulled it towards her. She flipped it open, scanning the pages. "What the hell," She mused as she poured through the documents, her other hand reclaiming and answering the call.

"Regina," Emma said, her voice hopeful. " _Please_ , please tell me you have something." She continued browsing the file. Killian had pages and pages of research, pictures, and clippings all about that stupid hat from the video. _What was he up to?_

"Miss. Swan, I'm sorry, but," Regina's voice caught. "There's nothing, no spell, no magic, nothing powerful enough to track where they went. I've been through everything. Twice."

"Are you sure," Emma said as she closed her eyes and and fought to hold back tears. "What if we try together. Could—"

"It wouldn't be enough. Unless you've bottled up substantially more power than you've been letting on—"

"Say that again," Emma said, cradling the phone against her shoulder. She read the notes he'd scrawled in the margins, flipping through the pages, trying to get the full picture.

"Emma, I wasn't being serious. Even combined we haven't near enough power to open this portal," Regina said, her voice annoyed.

"No," Emma said tracing her fingers over a faded picture of a dusty hat. "But I think I know where we can find exactly what we need."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for sticking with the story! Reviews and feedback are always greatly appreciated! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, there's some violence in this chapter. I think it's pretty light, but this is your warning in case it isn't your racket.

 

Hook hung limply, his wrists shackled to the ceiling, his boots barely brushing the floor. His brace lay on a small table just outside of his reach. He wasn't sure why the Snow Queen had gone to such lengths to detain him, as she already held his heart in her hand. She'd pulled it out without preamble minutes after their arrival. She eyed the heart with a small smile as it pulsed faintly in the dim, windowless room. She squeezed it between her fingers. Killian closed his eyes and gritted his teeth against the pain.

He thought of Emma. He wanted his last thoughts, before he died, to be of her. Of her smile, rare as it was. Of her laugh, rarer still. Her bright, green, fierce eyes. The taste of her lips, the smell of her hair, he tried to hold onto all of it, until he thought he would burst. He didn't fear death. Rather, he welcomed it, knowing his sacrifice would keep Emma safe. The Queen dropped his heart suddenly with a shriek, as if it had burned her. The pain of his heart hitting the icy floor vibrated through Killian's chest. It bounced only once before coming to a rest.

"You deceived me," She spat, her tone decidedly icy.

"Pirate," He said simply cocking his head, the movement rattling the chains restraining him. "We're want to do so." His warm heart had melted a small patch of ice where it settled, leaving it sitting in a small puddle. The Snow Queen picked it up gingerly and eyed it with distain.

"No matter. Just because your heart isn't cold now, doesn't mean it can be turned," She said, her voice once again sugary sweet. She forced his heart roughly back into his chest. Killian grimaced, then breathed a sigh of relief as he felt its steady beat back where it belonged. He hung his head in relief. Not only had he proven once again that he was a consummate survivor, but without a frozen heart the Queen's plan was stalled. Which meant he had bought Emma and Storybrooke more time. The thought brought a small smile to his lips.

"Aye," He said panting from exertion. "And how exactly does one turn a heart cold?"

"There's many ways," The Snow Queen said, turning with a flourish. He could hear her fiddling with something out of sight behind him. "Loss is the easiest, of course. Unfortunately we left your precious loved ones behind. But it's no matter, anger, jealousy, pain they'll get the job done just the same. It will just take a little longer."

"Ah," He said with a smirk. "None of those options sound terribly enjoyable." He pulled and tested the chains. Perhaps, he could pull his handless arm free. He jerk roughly, but the restraints held him tightly.

"Oh I don't know about that," She said coming back into his field of vision, a sharp knife glittering between her fingers. She trailed the point along his cheek. It strung, but didn't break the skin. "Why do you defend them so? They don't care for you, not really. You owe them nothing."

"I believe I was promised excruciating torture, love?" He said, his smirk still firmly in place and his tone bored. "So we could cut the chatter and just get to it—" His bravado was cut short when the Snow Queen plunged the shallow blade into his side between his ribs. He wheezed against the pain. "Excellent," He grunted as she pulled the knife free. The only sound in the dimly lit room was his heavy breathing and his blood dripping slowly onto the ice. "Much obliged, love. Truly."

* * *

"Where did you find this?" Regina said, flipping through the file. She sat at the Charmings' kitchen table. Despite the late hour, everyone was still up. Mary Margret was pacing with a restless Neal in the living room. David and Henry sat quietly on the couch, apprehension on their faces as they watched Regina and Emma. They were all on edge, and while he didn't know any better, Neal's cries were not doing anything to calm them.

"Killian's place," Emma said biting her thumbnail and leaning against a pillar. She felt too antsy to sit. _They were so close._ "He was researching it or something, I don't know. I just found it."

"If your pirate's research is accurate, this is a very powerful and very dangerous object Miss. Swan," Regina said putting the file down. "It would be extremely foolish for anyone with any sort of magic to be anywhere near it."

"But it could work?" Emma said hopefully, ignoring Regina's warning. "We could use the magic stored in it to open a portal? To follow the Snow Queen and Killian?"

"Yes," Regina said with a frustrated sigh. " _If_ we could find it, we could harness its power to reopen the portal. But there's no guarantee it even came over in the last curse—"

"It did," Emma said, pursing her lips and crossing her arms. "Gold has it. I've seen it."

"And what makes you think he is going to part with it"? David asked.

"I'm going to ask him _really, really_ nicely," Emma said.

"And when _that_ doesn't work?" Snow said, gently rocking her son. Her face illuminated with the doubt that Gold would do anything for anyone. _Let alone Hook_.

"Then I'm not going to ask." Emma said, her face set. She straightened up and turned to walk out of the apartment. She felt her magic coursing through her veins and she took a deep breath to calm herself. She had no doubt that Gold would give her the hat. _Whether he wanted to or not._ She was not in a mood to be trifled with.

"Now hold on Miss. Swan," Regina said standing up. "The hat can use residual magic from Ingrid to get you there, but getting back… It might be tricky."

"So, Emma will just be trapped there too?" David asked bemused. "This isn't even close to a plan."

"She won't be trapped," Regina said. "If we both use our magic at the same time, in our own realms, we can reopen the portal again."

"Okay…" Emma said, confused as to what the problem was. _Confused as to why they were wasting time._ "So let's do that?"

"If you paid attention during _any_ of our lessons Miss. Swan, you would know communication between realms is extremely difficult, even under ideal conditions. Which you will almost certainly not be in."

"That's easy," Henry said, walking into the kitchen. "Just synchronize your watches and open the portal at the same predetermined time," The adults all shot him surprised looks. "Seriously. Am I the _only_ one who watches TV? That's like basic heist manoeuvre 101."

"Good thing you're on our side kid," Emma said as she ruffled his hair. "We'll need supplies. I don't know where they are, but my guess is it's not a tropical island. Can you take care of that?" She asked looking to her parents. They both nodded.

"Regina will have to stay here to reopen the portal," Snow said. "So, we'll need supplies for four, counting Hook—"

"Who knows what's waiting for us?" David said. "Maybe we should bring Robin and some of his men?"

"Or the dwarves?" Snow interjected.

"About that," Regina said, her nose wrinkled. "The amount of power, even with this hat, required to maintain this portal will be astronomical. The more people that go through the more difficult it will be for us to maintain its stability."

"Then I'll go alone," Emma said, moving towards the door, eager to get the hat from Gold. _To get to Killian_. "Meet back here in twenty ready to go okay?" She asked over her shoulder as she grabbed her keys. She walked out the door, Regina hot on her heels as she walked into the hall.

"Miss. Swan, you misunderstand me," Regina said, her tone annoyed. "Maintaining the portal for one person will be difficult, but two? I am not sure it can be done…"

"Fine," Emma said, without hesitation. She didn't slow her pace and continued walking towards the stairs.

" _Emma_ ," Regina admonished, grabbing her arm so the women were face to face. "You can't be serious. This isn't a solution."

"It should have been me," Emma said quietly, meeting Regina's eyes with a fierce determination. "It should have been _my_ cold heart that was taken in the first place. So if this trade will work, if I can trade my heart for his, then that sounds good to me."

"Wait mom," Henry said, catching them in the hall. Regina dropped Emma's arm and took a step back. "You should make a locator spell so she can find Hook when she gets there."

"That could work," Regina said. "Do you have anything of his?" Emma closed her eyes and racked her brain. After all this time together, how could she not have _anything_ that belonged to him?

"Yes," She remembered suddenly, making them jump. "His jacket, it's still hanging in my room." She jogged back into the apartment and up the stairs to her room. She pulled his jacket off the back of her door and clutched it tightly against her chest. "Hold on Killian," She whispered against the leather. "I'm coming for you."

* * *

"Hook," A small voice said. At first, he thought he was simply dreaming of her. He'd been doing that a lot lately. "Hook," The voice said again, more insistently. Summoning his strength, he forced his eyes open and all the air was knocked out of him. _Bloody hell, it was her_.

"Swan," He said, reverently. "Took you bloody long enough, love." He could hardly believe his eyes. He'd hoped, desperately hoped, that she would come for him, but seeing her here now, in the flesh, it was almost too much. He'd never felt so relieved in his life. She cupped her hand against his face, and he leaned into her caress, closing his eyes at the contact. Her hands were like ice from the cold and her normally warm palm was cool against his cheek.

Soundlessly, she grabbed the lapels of his tattered and bloody shirt and pulled him to her, their lips crashing together. He moved towards her, wanting desperately to hold her in his arms, forgetting for a moment he was chained. He strained against the restraints as they bit into his wrists. He felt his bruised and bloody body complain against the movement, but he ignored the pain. Their kiss was frantic and heated, like their first they'd shared in Neverland. She pulled away and he took the opportunity to search her face. _God, he had missed her._ Her normally bright, green eyes were muted. _From worry?_ He frowned.

"That was a one time thing," She said out of his reach. "Don't get used to it."

"Swan," He said recoiling slightly. Her words echoing the one aspect of their Neverland kiss he tried to forget. "You're cross with me, love. But we'll sort it. I promise, once we're home—"

"So this, future you see, a happy one. Let me guess, it's with you?" She spat. "I was never a part of any of this. You're always trying to change me. To force me to stay." Her words cut him deeply. They were always the same. They were always fighting about the same thing.

"Love, this isn't the time—"

"I'm here out of obligation, nothing more," She said, her tone icy and her stare firm. "You lied to me. I can't trust you now, how can I?"

His head snapped back. _They weren't just fighting about the same things._ She was repeating identical phrases she'd said to him before. Things she'd said to hurt him. Understanding dawned over him and he shook his head, ashamed it had taken him so long to catch on.

"Valiant effort your majesty," He called to the large room, his voice echoing loudly. "I'm afraid my Swan is a decidedly better kisser than you though, love. Gave you away."

"Hook, what are you talking about?" The creature in front of him said. He sighed, wondering how he ever could have mistaken her for Emma. Everything about her was wrong. Her features too harsh. The musical cadence of her voice lacking. Her embrace icy. She was nothing but a pale imitation of his Swan.

"I know you're not real," He hissed, leaning forward. The creature's face twisted angrily. For a second he saw the Snow Queen's face, contorted in rage. He blinked and the illusion shattered and _Emma's_ face was once again scowling at him darkly. It happened so briefly he thought he had imagined it.

"I'm as real as it's going to get," She said digging a sharp knife into his thigh. Killian called out against the pain, as she twisted the blade. "Until your pesky heart of yours is ice and you forget all about Emma Swan."

"Well then, lass," He said, sweat dripping down his back. "Hope you've no pressing plans, because we're going to be here a long bloody time."

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

Emma followed the floating jacket down the hall, her boats treading lightly. She peered around each corner cautiously, but the ice fortress was empty. The magnitude of the situation only just barely overshadowed the feeling that she must look ridiculous following an enchanted coat. Her heart was pounding in her throat with each step.  _Was the locator spell working? What if the Queen had taken Killian somewhere else? What if she was already too late…_ She shook her head to clear it. She couldn't think like that, she had to focus.

She shivered as the walls creaked loudly around her. She wasn't positive, as the portal had deposited her inside the castle, but it sounded like there was quite the storm outside. The temperature certainly seemed to be dropping. Although maybe it just felt that way because heat rose, and Emma was going deeper and deeper into the bowels of this ice structure. She shifted the backpack on her shoulders as she descended yet another staircase.

With each step she took, Emma felt the weight of the cursed hat, nestled safely in the backpack. She knew it was their ticket home, _well Killian's at least_ , but just carrying it made her feel uncomfortable. She squirmed as her thoughts drifted to _what_ _exactly_ she'd had to do to procure it. And what awaited her when, _if_ , she ever got back to Storybrooke. She tried to push the worry back down, before it consumed her. Once she got Killian out of here, she would worry about everything else. _And only then_.

Aside from the metaphorical weight of the hat, the pack wasn't terribly heavy, containing mostly winter camping equipment in case they missed their first portal window. _Which was_ , she looked at her watch, the digital screen shining brightly, _in_ _twenty-seven minutes_. She picked up the pace, hoping the bewitched jacket would sense her urgency. She and Regina had planned two backup times to try and open the portal, but she had no intention on drawing this out any longer than was absolutely necessary. She wished she had brought more supplies, but that would have meant explaining to David and Mary Margret that there was a very real chance that, for her, this was a one way trip. So instead, she'd hugged them and Henry extra tightly and said nothing. She would make due. _She was such a coward_.

The jacket had led to her a long, dark, windowless hallway. Emma's breath was barely visible in the cold air. She felt like she had to be close to reaching her destination. _Close to Killian._ Sure enough, the coat hovered for a minute before a large door made entirely of ice, _of course_ , and then it dropped to the floor. Emma scooped it up and pushed her shoulder against the door. It was locked. _Of course it was_. She pulled off her thick mittens and placed her hands against the door. Closing her eyes she mustered her concentration and called upon her powers. _Come on_ , _unlock, open,_ ** _move_** , she thought frantically. She stumbled forward slightly. She bit her bottom lip when she realized that the whole door had disappeared into thin air.

"Whoops," Emma said, flexing her fingers. She knew she still didn't _technically_ have her powers a hundred percent under control, but her proximity to Killian seemed to be making them more squirrelly than usual. She squinted and tried to will her eyes to adjust to the dim light as she continued into the room. She held up the jacket and shook it lightly, but it seemed to be out of juice. _What did that mean?_ Her thoughts ran wild. _Was she too deep underground? Had Ingrid detected her and moved Hook to another realm? Was she too late?_

Breathing heavily, she reached into her pack she pulled out a small flashlight. She gave the jacket once last prod, but it remained motionless. With a sigh she stuffed the coat into the space the flashlight had occupied, and forced the zippers on the backpack closed roughly. The pack struggled against her, already full to the brim, but eventually complied. She knew she should just leave the coat behind, but it was her last connection to Killian and she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Armed with the light she continued to walk hesitantly into the room, cautiously shining the light to take in her surroundings.

Her breath caught when she saw him. He was so still, the beam of her flashlight passed over him once before she realized what she was looking at. He hung limply from the ceiling, his head resting against his chest. His clothes reduced to dirty rags. His body was so bruised and bloody he was almost unrecognizable. The ice below him was covered in blood. _Oh my god,_ Emma thought, her heart skipping a beat. _So much blood. How could anyone lose that much blood and still be alive?_

"Killian!" Emma yelled. Her earlier caution abandoned instantly. She dropped her pack and ran to him in a daze. Not watching where she was going she bumped her hip against something painfully. She glanced at the offending object. Her mouth dropped in horror, when she saw the plethora of sharp objects resting on the smooth, stone table. All covered in blood. _Killian's blood._ She pushed away from it roughly, tasting bile in her throat.

"Killian, _please_ ," She said as she reached him, her voice so needy it sounded unfamiliar to her ears. She desperately felt for a pulse, her hands shaking. The flashlight lay forgotten on the floor, its beam illuminating the room. "I'm here Killian. Please, come back to me."

"Your majesty," Killian said, his voice barely a whisper. Emma felt her knees buckle in relief when he spoke. "Here I thought you'd forgotten about me."

"Never," Emma said. She grabbed his face between her hands and rested her forehead against his. His stubble had grown out and was closer to being a full beard than scruff. She raked her fingers through it and tipped his face up to meet her eyes. "I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to." She peered into his eyes and saw a spark of recognition, of love. Her stomach twisted when she saw it fade, as quickly as it had appeared. She felt weak as his eyes meet hers dully, free of the adoration she had been missing so desperately.

"Your mask is becoming more convincing each day," He said, hanging limply. "I almost believed for a moment there."

"Killian," Emma said, her voice rough. "It's me. It's Emma."

"How I wish that were true," He said, pulling away and closing his eyes. His head rolled onto his chest, the exertion of holding it up proving to be too great. "Despite your best efforts, I've kept my promise. Thought of the real Swan everyday."

She pursed her lips tightly and fought the surge of sorrow and anger boiling in her chest. _She would kill the Snow Queen for this_. _If it was the last thing she did._ The flashlight flickered at her feet and she balled her hands into fists at her side. She forced herself to take a deep, ragged breath. She had to keep her emotions in check. _Had to keep her powers under control._ She closed her eyes and collected her thoughts, painfully aware of the time constraints they were under.

"It's okay," She said after a moment. She tenderly reached her hands up to the shackles at his wrists. She swallowed thickly. "Let's just get you out of here and we'll deal with the rest later." Closing her eyes, she summoned the power she knew was within in her. This time she focused her breathing and thoughts as Regina had instructed her to. _She didn't want Killian to disappear to wherever that door went._ She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the satisfying click of the chains unlocking. Killian fell against her heavily, his legs unsteady. Surprised, Emma was almost knocked over, but she recovered from her stumble quickly and caught him, holding him tightly. "I've got you," She whispered against his neck.

"Swan," He whispered, his brows knit together questioningly. The magic had been undeniably _Emma's,_ but he was unwilling to be bested by the bloody Queen again. Still leaning against her for support, he pulled back slightly and studied her face, intently. _Bloody hell, it looked like her._ "Gods, is it truly you?" She nodded quickly, tears brimming behind her eyes.

"It's me," Emma said kissing his check roughly. She felt like she was floating. _Finally_ having him within her grasp after all this time, seeing he was alive, it was almost too much.

"I want it to be you," He said burying his face in her shoulder, his breath hot against her neck. "I've never wanted anything so badly in my life." He clung to her tightly. Normally, the intensity of his embrace would have been suffocating, but now, after everything they'd been through the last couple weeks, it wasn't even close to enough. She ran her fingers through his hair, matted with blood and tried to pull him closer. He winced slightly against the pressure, but didn't pull away. Emma lessened her hold on him only barely. She didn't want to cause him pain, but she couldn't let him go.

"It's me, Killian. I'm here. I found you," She repeated against his skin. She could feel the relief settling over his body, the tension leaving him as her words washed over him. "I missed you, _so much,_ and, I, I was so scared, " She hesitated for a moment as she considered the depths of her emotion. She felt hot tears on her cheeks. "I thought I lost you, and—"

"I'm afraid it'll take more than that for you to be rid of me, love," He said, pulling away to look at her, his trademark smirk ghosting on his face.

"Don't joke, I was being seri—"

Her words died on her lips as Killian captured them with his own. He kissed her slowly, his arms pulling her impossibly closer, their heated breath mingling. After a moment he slid his tongue across her bottom lip, tantalizingly slowly. She pulled away reluctantly without deepening the kiss. She wanted, _needed_ , more but this was not the time. _Who knew when the Snow Queen would return?_

_"_ As was I, _"_ He said simply. Their chests rising and falling erratically. His eyes met hers, shining with emotion. She felt her heart swell with relief, when she saw the recognition she was desperate for starring back at her. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but she was running out of time. She glanced at the timer on her watch.

_Twelve minutes_.

"Am I keeping you from something, Swan?" He asked cocking his eyebrow. He tried to say it with his usual swagger, but he couldn't hide the wheeze in his voice from Emma. She felt his hand making small circles on her back. She smiled in spite of herself. Hook had to be literally the only man who could crack jokes _minutes_ after being rescued after a week of horrific torture.

"Just checking on our ride home," She said simply, ignoring his confused glance. She would fill him in on everything, Gold, the hat, _the fact that she fucking loved him_ , as soon as they were safe. She brushed her lips against his softly. "Can you walk?"

"Aye," He said, stumbling slightly. Emma frowned at his obvious lie and reached for her pack. She pulled out the men's clothing David had packed for them. Her heart sank, when she realized it was too large for Hook now. He had dropped a lot of weight since she'd last seen him.

"Here, this will keep you warm while we wait," She said pulling off his tattered shirt. He hissed as the shirt stuck to his skin, caked in his dried blood. "Sorry," She said tenderly. Her chest tightened as she saw the extent of the wounds covering his chest and back. She rested her palm over his heart, and felt its beat faintly under his clammy skin.

"Is it," She hesitated, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "Do you still have—"

"My heart?" He asked raising his eyebrow. "Alas it's not been in my possession for sometime now." Emma closed her eyes as the breath was knocked out of her. _It was like Graham all over again_. Once again the Saviour had been too late and someone else was in pain because of her.

"I'll get it back, Killian," Emma promised, looking fiercely into his eyes, her decision made. She would send him back through the earliest portal, alone. She would find and kill the Snow Queen and then retrieve her pirate's heart. _She would make him whole again._

"Emma, you already have it," He smiled, covering her hand with his own. "Well, I suppose _technically_ , it resides in my chest," His smile grew as he saw her eyes widen. "But it's been in your possession, since the first bloody moment I met you." Emma narrowed her eyes, a retort on her tongue about how this wasn't a time for jokes. He kissed the corner of her mouth softly, his lips lingering. Emma felt her eyelids flutter. The act, coupled with his admission, was charged with meaning and it robbed her of all coherent thought.

"Killian—" She started, her hand still resting heavily against his heart.

"We can't dally here long, love," He said, as he pulled away and started to struggle into a thermal undershirt. Emma snapped out of her daze and helped him with the undershirt and then a thick sweater. His movements were languid and rough, even with her assistance. The pain robbing him of his usual grace. "The bloody wrench never gives me much of a rest. She's bound to be back any second."

"Okay," Emma said, tugging him into a thick coat. Her mind racing as she contemplated their next move. "Let's go then." She pulled a mitten over his hand and reached for her pack.

"Wait," He said, gesturing to his other arm. "My hook? I should like to have it back." Emma nodded and picked up the flashlight. She cast her eyes around the room. She clenched her jaw when she saw it sitting in a pile with the other instruments. Its tip bloody like everything else on the stone table. She wiped it clean on her pants and moved to put it in the pack.

"No, here, please," He said as he reached for his brace. His didn't meet Emma's eyes, clearly uncomfortable with her seeing him in such a vulnerable state.

"You sure?" Emma asked, biting the inside of her cheek. His wrist was bruised and caked with blood. Most likely from the chains that had held him. It looked painful enough without a heavy brace overtop of the wound.

"Aye, I would prefer to not be unarmed if I cross paths with the bloody Queen again," He said as he began strapping it firmly to his arm, his other hand shaking with the exertion. Emma covered his fingers with her own and helped him. She tried to ignore the grunts of pain he let out as she tightened each strap.

She hoisted the pack, which was now considerably lighter, onto her back. She pulled Killian's good arm over her shoulders and silently offered her support. She knew he had to be in considerable pain when he didn't protest and leaned against her heavily. She glanced at her watch.

_Nine minutes_.

She tired to move him along as quickly as she could without hurting him. Her thoughts were racing, trying to think of somewhere they could bunker down. _Just for a couple minutes._ And then they would be fine. They would be home. Her stomach flipped when she realized she'd been picturing going home, _together_. She tightened her arm's hold around Killian's waist gently and shook her head to clear it as they headed up the first flight of stairs.

"Hook, no," a voice called from behind them, causing them to stop in their tracks. "It's a trap!" Emma's brow furrowed. The voice sounded eerily familiar, yet she couldn't place it. She felt Hook tense and pull away from her, his face frozen in horror. She followed his gaze and saw, _herself_. The Snow Queen stood behind the other Emma, a dagger pointed at her throat. Emma swallowed thickly, unnerved. It was like she was looking in a mirror. Except she, _the other her_ , wasn't doing so great. Her cuts and bruises rivalled Killian's and her blonde hair was matted with blood and grime.

"Swan," Hook said, his voice faltering.

"Killian," Emma said, grabbing his arm roughly. "Look at me," When he didn't immediately respond, she stepped in front of him, blocking his view of her doppelgänger. "Killian, please." Her heart twisted when she saw the turmoil on his face.

"Killian," other Emma called, her voice breathy. "Don't fall for it! I thought you loved me. Please, don't let me die. Not like this." Hook tensed and shut his eyes, his breathing laboured.

"KIllian," Emma said, clutching him. "It's not real. She's not real. We have to run." She eyed the Snow Queen uneasily. _Why wasn't she attacking them?_ Her icy smile ghosting on her lips as she waited to see their next move.

"I want you to be real," Hook croaked, reaching for Emma's hand. "So desperately." She felt her chest tighten when he lifted his head to met her eyes and she saw his features riddled in torment. Suddenly, his eyes widened. "Swan," he yelled as he tried to push her out of the way. Dulled by pain, his reflexes were too slow to stop other Emma from tackling her to the ground.

The air was knocked out of Emma as she hit the ice, hard. She struggled as Doppel-Emma's icy fingers circled tightly around her throat. Gasping for air, she struck her attacker and pried at her hands, but other Emma never flinched or relented. She just smiled icily. Clearly, her injuries weren't slowing her down. It was like she wasn't human. _She probably wasn't_ , Emma thought, her mind surprisingly clear. Emma's own green eyes glinted back at her and she was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. Her vision began to tunnel as her lungs screamed for oxygen.

Killian sprang into action, calling upon energy he didn't know he had left. He lunged towards the two Emma's and roughly plunged his hook into the doppelgänger's neck. Its mouth fell open in a soundless scream, blood spurting from the wound. It collapsed, blood spilling onto Emma and the ground beside her. The Snow Queen smiled icily as Killian dropped to his knees. Emma pushed the lifeless body off of her, gasping frantically for air. Killian felt his chest constrict painfully, unable to look away from the lifeless siren of Emma. He _knew_ it wasn't his Swan, but still seeing her so still, her blood slowly trickling onto the ice, still caused him so much pain. It hurt him so much more than the Queen ever had.

"Like I said pirate," The Snow Queen said, suddenly beside Killian. "There's many ways to turn a heart cold." She reached into his chest and he felt her fingers wrap around his heart. He gasped and closed his eyes against the pain.

"Killian," Emma yelled, her voice scratchy. She pulled herself to her feet and hurled a blast of magic towards the Queen, throwing her across the room. Emma breathed a sigh of relief as the Queen clenched her empty fist angrily. Emma moved to stand between Killian and Ingrid, clutching his arm roughly. "Come on, Killian," She said, as she pulled him to his feet, never taking her eyes of the Queen. "Get up." She rested her palm against his chest and smiled when she felt Killian's heart beat steadily, still firmly in his chest.

"Gods, Emma," He said as he took in all the blood she was covered in. His hand trailed frantically over her skin, looking for the source so he could apply pressure.

"It's not mine," Emma said, coughing. "The blood isn't mine." His hand stopped it's journey and settled protectively against her waist, pulling their bodies close together.

"This has been rather droll," The Queen said. "But I'm growing weary of these games. You have something I need and I will have it." She waved her hand and a blast of razor sharp icicles shot towards them. Emma raised her hands reflexively and her magic diverted the ice. It hurled instead into the ice wall behind them. The ice wall shattered with a deafening crash.

Icy wind hurled snow and sleet into the room, clouding their vision. The force and temperature of the icy onslaught took Emma's breath away. It felt like the air she was inhaling was freezing, painfully, inside her lungs. The Snow Queen threw her arm in front of her face protectively. Emma smirked in spite of herself. _Apparently the Queen did feel the cold._

"Emma," Killian yelled into her ear over the howling wind. "I have a plan love, but you have to trust me." Emma felt his whole body tense, presumably as he recalled the last time he had asked her to trust him. _And she had let him down._

She rested her hand against his cheek and ran her thumb along his bottom lip. "I trust you Killian." She called back, meeting his eye, willing his brilliant blue eyes to read her like he always did. To see her sincerity. "I always have."

"Well alright then love," He smiled widely, his eyes crinkling. He pulled her towards the hole in the wall and Emma clenched her jaw. _Please tell me he isn't thinking of doing what I think he's is_ , she thought in a brief moment of panic. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and his boyish grin confirmed her suspicions. She shook her head. She'd meant what she said. _She trusted him. And that meant she was along for the ride, including this idiotic plan._ She gritted her teeth and clung to him tightly as they leapt into the air. And they fell. Together. Their bodies intertwined.

Knowing she had ventured deep into the bottom of the ice fortress, Emma felt disorientated as she and Killian tumbled through the air. The icy wind blew against her exposed skin and she nuzzled closer to Killian, her arms wrapped around his neck, his good arm still tightly around her waist. The plunged into the white abyss, until she felt a rough jerk and their fall came to a sudden stop. Turning her head away from his shoulder she saw his hook firmly latched into the ice wall. He was smiling widely at her. She cast her eyes above to where they'd fallen and saw the ice castle high above them, built into the face of the cliff. They swayed slightly, hanging from his hook, as the storm continued to assault them.

"Now what?" She asked, hesitantly eyeing the _very_ distant ground beneath their dangling feet.

"I'm open to suggestions," Killian said as he pulled her more tightly against him.

" _This_ was your plan?" Emma asked dumbfounded. She felt laughter vibrate through Killian's chest and he bumped his nose against hers.

"Not one of my finest, to be sure," He conceded. "But I seem to remember we were pressed for time, love."

A smile erupted on Emma's face before she could stop it. She bit her bottom lip and tilted her head to meet his eyes. Clear and impossibly blue, they twinkled mischievously. He leaned closer and kissed the tip of her nose, frozen from the cold. Objectively, she knew this had to be one of the top ten, _hell top five_ , worst situations she'd ever been in, but she was finding it hard to dwell on that with Killian's body pressed against her. Her thoughts were interrupted as a thundering crack rang above them. She felt her body go weak as an avalanche of snow and ice barrelled towards them.

"Killian—" She called, twisting in his grasp. She awkwardly reached for the zippers on the backpack. _If she could get the hat out, she could open the portal as they fell._ Killian's arm tightened around her in response to her movement and he threw her against the wall of the cliff. His body pinning her against it, trying to protect her from the oncoming danger. "No, Killian," She said, her voice muffled against his shoulder. Before she could explain, the wall of snow and ice bore down on them, Killian's already aching body bearing the brunt of the force.

The avalanche blocked out all light, leaving them in a suffocating darkness. Emma wrapped her arms firmly around his shoulders. She closed her eyes and tired to use her magic to offer them some sort of protection. Just as she felt the telltale warmth of her gift at the tips of her fingers, a large chuck of ice caught Killian firmly on the shoulder. She heard the sickening pop of Killian's shoulder being dislocated and he screamed against the pain.

"Emma," He whispered as his eyes closed, his body unable to tolerate the pain. He hung lumpy from his hook and Emma clutched him tightly. She scrunched her eyes closed, screaming internally. _This was not a time for magical stage fright_. Another large onslaught of snow struck them, knocking Killian's hook free. They tumbled through the air, battered by the force of the avalanche. Emma clung to Killian, frantically willing her magic to do something. _Anything_. Something hard struck her head and she was enveloped by darkness.

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

She was so tired. She just wanted to sleep. _Apparently even that was too much to ask for._ Because as much as powerful as the pull of sleep was, Emma was annoyingly awake, albeit barely. She scrunched her face in frustration, her eyes still tightly closed. Somewhere off in the distance an annoying beeping noise sounded. Over and over again on a loop. She couldn't quite put her finger on what the sound was. _A bird? A truck backing up? One of Henry's video games?_ That was probably what it was. _She was going to hurl it out the window._

With a garbled sigh, she gathered the strength to pull herself out of her lumpy bed. She opened her eyes and her world tilted sharply around her as she realized she wasn't in her bed. _Hell, she wasn't in Storybrooke._ She sat up too quickly a wave of nausea hit her. All Emma could see was darkness. _Pitch black._ The beeping that had woke her continued, persistently. Disorientated, she closed her eyes and tried to gather her thoughts. Every muscle in her body ached and her head throbbed painfully. Slowly, she remembered. _The Snow Queen, her doppelgänger, the avalanche… they were buried alive._ Her eyes shot open. Her chest felt tight and her vision swam. Her breath came in short gasps as claustrophobia set in. Emma willed herself to calm down, she needed to stay strong for Killian. Her stomach dropped like a stone. _Oh my god. Killian, where was Killian?_

Frantically, she crawled on her hands in knees in the pitch black, searching for him by feel alone. Tears stung the back of her eyes as her bare hands felt nothing but the icy bite of the cold snow. Flustered, she sat back on her haunches and pulled her pack off her shoulders. She tore it open and heard supplies tumble everywhere. Uncaring, her frozen fingers closed around the flashlight and she clicked it on. Shining it around her, she realized she was in an air pocket, snow and ice packed tightly all around them. Hardly believing their luck, she pressed her hand tentatively against the wall and was met with warm resistance. The telltale glow of her magic shone brightly around her for a moment, before fading back to darkness. _Apparently luck had nothing to do with it_ , she thought. Her magic lessons with Regina had finally paid off and she'd protected them with her magical muscle memory. _Go figure._

With the help of the light, Emma quickly saw Killian slumped not far from her, his hand reaching towards her as if he was loath to let her go, even in sleep. His other arm hung at an odd angle from the rest of his body. Emma's stomach dropped as she remembered the sickening sound it had made as it dislocated from his shoulder. She was at his side in an instant, her face tight with worry.

"Killian, wake up," Emma commanded, shaking him roughly. She rolled him onto his back, but he gave her no response. She desperately felt for his pulse under his jaw and let out a shaky breath of relief when she felt it, weak and thready, but there. "Please, don't do this to me." She rested her palm against his face and trailed her thumb over the small scar on his cheek, only just visible under the new bruises and cuts that marred his face. _She'd never asked him how he got it_ , she thought holding back her tears. _And now she might never get the chance._ Emma sighed and closed her eyes tightly. She couldn't think with that annoying beeping, still ringing loudly around her. _It was her watch,_ Emma realized with a start. Henry's timer was beeping, indicating that it was time to open the portal.

_How long had it been ringing?_ Emma thought, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. _Was it too late?_ Shooting one last concerned glance at Hook, Emma pulled the hat from the backpack and held it tightly. Concentrating, she focused her magic, trying to draw strength from the hat. She bit back a small smile as she felt it begin to work. The beginnings of a portal opened for a moment, illuminating the space, but then sputtered away before it fully formed. Emma groaned, _they would have to wait for the next portal._ She vaguely noted that the next window was in a little more than three hours. Emma turned her watch's timer off, the silence suddenly very oppressive. She dropped the hat, now useless to her, _well for three hours at least_ , and dug though the supplies her parents had packed for them, taking an inventory of what was available to them.

As gently as she could, Emma dragged Hook to a sitting position, with his back resting against the wall. She was huffing from the effort required to move his dead weight. She hoped that between the blanket she wrapped around him and the warmth of her magical barrier, his core temperature wouldn't drop any lower than it already was. She unzipped his coat and gingerly pulled the collar of his shirt down to inspect his shoulder. The skin was already black and blue. She gently rubbed her hand over his battered skin, wishing she could take his pain away. She glanced at his face apprehensively. With a sigh, she realized she may as well take advantage of his unconsciousness. Firmly grasping his elbow, she grit her teeth and roughly pushed his shoulder back into the joint.

Killian's cries rang out in the dark enclosed space. His eyes bulged as the pain rocked him back to consciousness. Disorientated, his hand clutched at Emma's still tender throat, the pirate in him not willing to go down without a fight.

"It's me," Emma croaked. "Killian, it's Emma."

"Gods, Emma," He said, releasing his hold on her instantly. He dropped his arm around her and pulled her onto his lap. Emma went willingly, burrowing her head into his good shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," He whispered against her hair.

"It's okay, _I'm_ okay," She said quickly, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling herself closer, as gently as she could. She felt him wince slightly, but he pulled her more tightly against him as he kissed her temple, his lips lingering. Emma felt his chest rising and falling roughly. She sighed heavily. "God, I thought I lost you. _Again_. Don't you _ever_ scare me like that, _ever again,_ " She said harshly. She pulled away slightly and looked him in the eye. "Do you understand me?"

Killian laughed heartily, and rested his forehead against hers. "Aye, Swan. I promise."

"I'm being serious," Emma said as she moved her hands to rest on either side of his Adam's apple. She brushed her lips against his cheek and closed her eyes, trying to maintain her composure. "I can't lose you."

She felt him start to speak, when suddenly his body wracked with a violent cough. Emma pulled away, but quickly returned to his side with a bottle of water. As his cough subsided, he wiped his hand against the snow. Emma felt her stomach turn to ice when she saw the white snow turned dark with his blood. Saying nothing, she opened the bottle and motioned for him to take the water. He nodded his thanks and tipped the bottle to his lips. He drank quickly, clearly parched. Suddenly, he stopped drinking and winced.

"Sorry love," He said offering the bottle back to Emma. "I don't remember the last time I had a sip, but that's no excuse for my bad form. I've had more than my share."

"Have as much as you want. We have lots," Emma said as she pulled two more bottles out triumphantly. Clearly relieved, he drained the rest of the water and rested his head against the barrier, his breathing laboured. "Do you want more?" Emma said, offering him another bottle. She shifted awkwardly beside him. After everything they'd been through, she wasn't sure where her nervous energy was coming from. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but thoughts of their last encounter, _their stupid, stupid fight,_ flashed to her mind and she felt unsure of herself. She felt a blush creeping onto her cheeks and felt relieved the feeble beam from the flashlight was too weak to illuminate the space.

"No, love, I'm fine," He said with a small smile. He wiggled his brows suggestively. "Although I wouldn't turn down a spot of rum…" Against her will, Emma felt a smile creeping back onto her lips. She averted her eyes and dug through the backpack again, eager to have something to distract her.

"Tough luck pirate," She said. "Left the rum in Storybrooke."

"Emma," Killian said, reaching for her. The movement caused him to grimace slightly, but didn't deter him. His gloved hand gently cupped her chin and tipped her eyes back up to meet his. He eyed her reverently. Any trace of his playful banter, gone from his face. Emma felt her heart constrict slightly as she felt a barrage of emotions assault her.

"I never thought I would see you again," He said, his voice raspy. "The real you," he amended. When he saw the hurt dart cross her face, he explained quickly, "We didn't exactly part on the best of terms, love." Emma felt her blush deepen. _Clearly her heated,_ stupid _, words were still fresh in his mind as well._

"Killian, I will always come for you. There's nothing you could say or do to change that," Emma said. She furrowed her brows. "Is there anything I could do that would make you _ever_ not come after me?"

"No," He said without a moment's hesitation. His impossibly blue eyes bore into her, overflowing with emotion and Emma swallowed thickly. The hair on the back of Emma's neck stood up. It was like the room, the space between them, was charged with electricity. Wordlessly, he reached for her wrist and pulled her back against his chest. Emma breathed a sigh of relief as she nestled against him. His arms snaked tightly around her. She closed her eyes and placed a soft kiss along the hollow of his neck. For the first time in forever, despite their impossible circumstances, _she felt safe._

"You can't sleep," She commanded, nuzzling her cold nose along his throat. "It's too cold."

"Aye, Swan," He said dutifully, although Emma swore she could hear the smirk in his voice. "How long do you expect we'll be holed up here before the cavalry arrives?"

Emma slid one of her frigid hands into his oversized mitten and laced her fingers through his. He looked at her questioningly, but said nothing. As always, he seemed to sense what she needed from him. Soundlessly, he squeezed her hand and allowed her time to gather her thoughts. After a moment, Emma took a deep breath and let the words tumble from her lips. As concisely as she could, she filled Killian in on everything, _almost everything,_ that he missed _._ Throughout her story, Emma's eyes remained firmly fixed on her other hand as it played with the snaps on Hook's jacket. She hoped that for once, he wouldn't read her. That her careful omissions would go unnoticed.

She felt his body tense beneath her when she mentioned Gold and his hat. His arm tightened protectively around her waist as he it dawned on him that the cursed object was here with them. However, he never interrupted her. Instead he stroked his thumb over her slowly warming hand and let her words wash over them. They sat in silence, their bodies intertwined when she finished. After a couple minutes, Killian cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"Swan," He said, his voice faint. She strained her ears to hear his words. "About that tape, and the hat—"

"I don't care," She said. "I just, I missed you Killian. I didn't know it was possible to miss anyone as much as I missed you. And," She hesitated slightly, the intensity of her emotions making her throat tighten. _She was so bad at this_. She finally looked into his eyes, drawing strength from him. "And I don't want to miss you anymore." She moved to brush her lips against his, but he tilted his head out of her grasp. Her eyes searched his, confused.

"Gods, I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, love," He said roughly after contemplating her for a moment. "With this bloody hat and with Tinkerbelle and—"

Emma covered his lips with her fingers, silencing him. "Don't apologize for that," Emma said quietly. Emma felt tears brimming behind her eyes and she blinked to keep them at bay. "That was me, being an idiot. Everything was going so well, I was just looking for a reason to run. I know you'd never, I, I'm so sorry—"

Emma's apology died on his lips as he pulled her into a bruising kiss. She moaned against his mouth and pulled her hand free of his to drag it through his hair. The air was filled with the sounds of their breathless pants. Hungrily, they clawed at each other, their icy prison quickly becoming not so cold at all. Suddenly, Killian pulled away. _He was never the one to pull away,_ Emma thought. He twisted away from her and coughed loudly into his sleeve. Emma rested her forehead against his shoulder and gently rubbed the back of his neck. She eyed him carefully as his cough subsided.

Killian wheezed as he drew breath. Some of the old cuts on his face had reopened, presumably during their tumble from the castle. With every stealthily glance she took, Emma grew more and more concerned. She was worried Hook wouldn't survive the wait until the next portal if she didn't do something. But she'd never used her magic to heal someone before. _What if she did more harm than good?_

"What is it Swan," Killian said, his breath hot against her ear. "I can feel you thinking." He smiled at her, acting as if everything was right as rain. Emma frowned as she took in the pain etched behind his eyes. She could see through his practiced mask of nonchalance. Resting her palm against his cheek she leaned towards him and kissed him softly. She felt him smile against her lips as he returned her affections. Lightly nipping at her lips.

"Trust me?" She asked as she pulled away breathlessly, resting her forehead against his. Her hands slid around his neck and toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Always," He said immediately, kissing her cheek.

Emma shifted slightly, so her legs were straddling him. She held her weight above him and took a shallow breath. Leaving their foreheads pressed together, she closed her eyes and tried to act like she knew what she was doing. A quiet voice whispered in her mind that she should conserve her magic for the portal, but she pushed it down. _She couldn't leave him like this._ Every ragged breath he took pained her. If she could take away his hurt, then she would goddammit. More quickly then she had anticipated, a burst of magic shot out from her. She heard him gasp in surprise and he clutched her waist more tightly in response.

"Swan," He said, laughing after a moment. The sound music to her ears. "You're a bloody marvel." She smiled and pulled herself closer to him, vaguely wondering how she would know when the magic was complete. _When he wasn't hurting._ Suddenly, he pushed her away roughly. The force of his movement broke her concentration and her magic stilled as suddenly as it had stared.

"Emma," He whispered, his face twisted into a horrified expression. "What have you done?" Emma wasn't sure why he was complaining. His injuries, while still present, looked much better. His cuts had healed to scabs and the dark bruising had faded to a pale yellow.

"What?" She asked, slightly annoyed. She started to move back towards him and grimaced. She brought her hand to her side, clutching tightly. Her own chest felt tight and each breath she drew was accompanied by a burst of pain.

"Swan," He admonished. He pulled his mitten off with his teeth and tipped her face towards him. His hand shook slightly as his fingers lightly trailed over her face, a mirror to the injuries that had painted his face only minutes ago. His features were tight with barely controlled anger. Emma grit her teeth as another jolt of pain crashed over her. He pulled his arm back abruptly, fearing he was the cause. "Undo this, Swan. Now," He said quietly.

She shook her head quickly. "It should have been me," Emma said, feeling no regret. She meet his stormy eyes fiercely. Never mind she had _no idea how_ to reverse the spell. "I have the cold heart. I always have. The Queen should have taken me instead—"

He stood up quickly, unable to listen to another word, and walked to the opposite side of the small air pocket. He needed space from Emma, _more space than this bloody ice bubble could give him._ Gods, he wanted to shake her. _Shake some bloody sense into her._ Restlessly, he paced back and forth along the far wall, his jaw tightly clenched. He felt Emma's eyes on him, but he refused to acknowledge her. With each step he took, his anger intensified. His lungs felt clear, his muscles loose. He was acutely aware that every ounce of pain he'd struggled with before had been transferred to Emma. He ran his hand over his face.

Emma watched him carefully. His terse steps were punctuated with furious curses from under his breath. His back was to her, so she couldn't really hear what he was saying, but she did make out _bloody, stubborn, maddening_ and _princess_. Shakily, she rose to her feet and walked towards him. Each step she took was painful. She wondered how Killian had been able to function, knowing she hadn't even fully absorbed all of his injuries. She rested her hand on his arm gingerly and he stopped pacing.

"What else?" Killian asked tersely without meeting her eye.

"What—"

"Before, when you told me this bloody plan of yours, you left something out," He turned and the intensity behind his gaze knocked the air out of her. She took a staggered step back, but he gently grabbed her wrist and kept her close. "What?"

_Damn it,_ She thought. "Killian," She said hesitantly. "There's nothing—"

"Come now Swan," He said. "Don't lie to me, you owe me that courtesy at least."

"Only one of us can go through the portal," Emma blurted. Killian's hand tightened around her wrist, but he said nothing. Outwardly, it appeared he hadn't even heard her, but Emma saw the turmoil he felt reflected in his eyes. _So that's all it took to finally render the pirate speechless,_ Emma thought grimly. Finally, he pulled her tentatively back into his arms. Emma blinked away her tears and rested her head against the crook of his neck.

"Emma," He said softly. "Why did you come?"

"To save you," She said, tightening her hold on him. She inhaled his scent greedily. She hadn't wanted him to know, she knew he would try and talk her out of staying. But she wouldn't have it. Her decision was made.

"So I'm to go through the portal and leave you to your demise? And your lad, your parents?" He asked. His voice hardened. "What of them?"

"They didn't know," Emma said with a sniffle. She recounted Regina's warning about the power of the hat, her words muffled against his shoulder. "I just, I couldn't let you, I wouldn't let you go," Thinking of her family and the fact that this was likely the last time Hook would hold her in his arms, the pain, physically and emotionally, became too much. Emma choked back a sob as the tears she'd been holding back streamed down her face. She pulled herself closer to Hook, trying to hide her face. He rocked her gently.

"No," Hook said simply.

"Killian, this isn't a something you can just will away—"

"If anyone can, it's us," He said simply. "I've yet to see you fail Swan. Regina has no idea what you're capable of, how extraordinary you are. I believe, with every fibre of my being that you can sustain this bloody portal with your magic, love. The question is, do you believe in yourself?"

"Magic always comes with a price," Emma said. "This is the price of the portal. I'll pay it, I'll pay it for you—"

"No," He said again, pulling away from her. He found her eyes and Emma saw that his features had softened. His anger had lessened. "Because I won't let you go either, Swan. It's that simple."

"Killian—"

"Stop, Emma, I won't lose you. Not again. That cursed year we were apart, it, it wrecked me losing you. I won't do it again," Emma felt her heart melt when she saw the sincerity of his words. She gently cupped his cheek, his scruff rubbing on her palm. "We either go through together, or not at all."

"Okay," She said with more confidence than she felt. "We'll go back to Storybrooke, _together_ , in," She glanced at her watch, groaning inwardly. "Two hours and thirty-four minutes."

"Aye," Killian said, pulling her back tightly against him. He seemed only a little surprised that he had won the argument so quickly. "Now that that's settled, any suggestions on how to pass the time, Swan?"

"For starters," Emma said, gently trailing her thumb over the small scar on his cheek. "Tell me where this came from..."

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

"Killian," She whispered.  _Her voice was so weak, so faint_ . His jaw clenched as he considered if it was from their long conversation, the cold, or her pain. "If we don't make it, I just, I need to tell you—"

"Don't," He said, tightening his arms around her, willing her weary body to steal the heat from his. His own voice was gruff as well. Not that he minded. Hours of trading stories with his Swan was an experience he would treasure, circumstances be damned. He only wished it hadn't taken near death, _for them both_ , for her to lower her walls. "Tell me in Storybrooke, love."

"But, if we don't—"

"We will," He said, confidently. His breath warm against her hair. He tried to control his heartbeat as something in her tone made it pound wildly, _hopefully_ , in his chest. "And then, after this mess is sorted, you and I are going somewhere bloody warm."

Emma chuckled and twisted in his arms. She smiled warmly when she found his eyes and saw the sincerity of his words. She rested her palm against his cheek and kissed him slowly, a smile on her lips. She wondered if she would ever have the same unwavering faith that he had in her in, _hell in anything_.

"I mean it, Swan," Killian said breaking their kiss, and bumping his nose playful against hers. His eyes twinkling with promise. Emma felt herself growing warm at the mere thought of her and Killian tangled together on a beach somewhere. Sensing her thoughts - _open book_ \- Killian smirked at her and wiggled his eyebrows in that way that never failed to make her knees go weak.

Still smirking slightly, Killian gently turned her wrist towards him and saw the blinking symbols indicated less than two minutes remained in the countdown. Soundlessly, he rose to his feet, his limbs stiff from the cold, pulling Emma with him gently. He frowned when he saw the pain dart across her delicate features from the small movement.

Squeezing her hand, he pulled away from her just for a moment to retrieve the hat. Gingerly, he placed it in her hands. Emma avoided his eyes and stared instead intently at the hat. She clutched it tightly, her knuckles white. She closed her eyes and tried to remember to breathe. The magnitude of the situation suddenly overwhelming her. _What if she couldn't do it?_

"Stay with me, Emma," Killian said simply, sensing her inner turmoil. He'd expected her walls to come back up, but he'd never expected it to be so soon. He breathed a sigh of relief when Emma's face snapped up to met his, surprised either by his request, or by the pain in his voice, he wasn't sure. "I know you can do this Swan," He said, his deep, blue eyes boring into hers. He tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "Just tell me what you need from me."

"Just," Emma hesitated and swallowed thickly. "Don't let me go."

Moving behind her, he wrapped his arms firmly around her waist. "Never, love," He said as he placed a soft kiss under her ear. Emma's heart fluttered and with a small smile, she realized she didn't doubt him, not for a second. Perhaps she knew more about unwavering faith than she gave herself credit for.

Her digital watch beeped shrilly and she took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and focused on Killian's steady breathing behind her. _It was time to go home._

A blinding light encompassed them. She felt Killian's arms tighten around her in response. "That's it, Swan," He whispered in her ear, his voice brimming with pride.

"I didn't do that," She said, panic creeping into her own voice. "Killian, that wasn't me."

With a start, Emma realized the light wasn't magic, it was the sun. The snow that had blanketed them was gone. As her eyes adjusted to the light, Emma's jaw dropped as she saw the Snow Queen standing before them. Her features set in an icy stare, only her eyes betraying the rage she felt. She pressed one finger to Emma's magical barrier and all hell broke loose.

The barrier shattered with a resounding clatter, the force knocking all three of them off their feet. The gail force winds and icy snow pelted against their already frozen skin. The Snow Queen came to her senses the most quickly. With a snap of her fingers, blue bursts of magic shot towards Emma and Killian. No longer hindered by the pain of his injuries, Killian leapt in front of Emma, his body absorbing the blow. He kept one of his arms tightly around Emma's waist. The other clutched his chest, his face contorted in pain.

"Killian," Emma yelled. The roar of the blizzard around them dampening her cries.

"I'm fine," He panted. "Just open the bloody portal, Swan."

Emma scrunched her eyes tightly and simply willed the portal into existence. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt, rather than heard, the dull hum of its magic. Killian pulled her to her feet and they hurled themselves towards its wake, their hands locked together. Appearing at her side suddenly, the Snow Queen grabbed Emma's arm roughly and she stumbled. Killian turned, his hook poised to teach the Queen a painful lesson, but it never found its mark. Emma used the momentum of her stumble to push him towards the event horizon of the portal. Caught off balance he tripped and fell backwards, cursing her name as he fell, leaving Emma, the Snow Queen, and the icy realm behind.

Killian hit the ground roughly, the air knocked from his lungs. Panting and disoriented, he rose to his feet, shakily. Casting his eyes around him, ready for a fight, he quickly realized he was back in Storybrooke. Back in his cottage actually. He'd never doubted her for a moment, but it was a bloody relief all the same. Still taking in his surroundings, his cottage exactly as he had left it, he felt his heart sink when he couldn't find her. _Emma. Bloody hell, where was Emma?_

"Oh thank God, Hook," Snow said. He was surprised, and a little touched, to hear the palpable relief in her voice. The surprise was enough to still the quip that was normally so quick to fall from his lips. Snow rested her hand on his arm, her touch soft, but insistent. "Where's Emma?"

_Good question_ , he thought, his jaw tightly clenched. Beside him the portal remained open, its magic swirling brightly around them, no doubt thanks to the efforts of Regina. The once evil Queen stood with her arms outstretched, her eyes closed in concentration, her body tense as her magic flowed towards it. He clenched his fist tightly. _Come on Swan,_ he thought, his mind racing. _We had a deal._

"Your bloody daughter _pushed me_ through the damn portal," His voice, shaking with anger, caught as he cast his mind back, his thoughts a jumble, the sensations vivid. Emma's body tight against his, the noise deafening, the burning pain in his chest, the magic of the bloody hat glowing brightly, Emma slipping away from him. _Bloody hell, he'd promised not to let her go._

"The Snow Queen," He said finally, his voice rough. "She must have found us... Emma, she's coming. She was right behind me."

"I can't," Regina panted, sweat dripping down her brow, her body shaking with exertion. "I can't keep it open any longer."

"Yes, you can and you bloody will," Hook said, raising his voice. "Swan is in there. She was _right behind me_."

Regina closed her eyes and grit her teeth, trying with all her might to follow his command. But it was no use. "I, I'm sorry, but I can't," She said, her hands shaking visibly.

"Then I'm going back for her," He said, purposeful moving back towards the horizon of the portal. "I won't leave Swan in the hands of that bloody witch," He spat, his vision clouded with anger. Towards the Snow Queen, towards Regina, towards _bloody Emma Swan. Gods, how could he have let her go?_

"Hook," David said, grabbing his arm roughly. "Wait."

The portal sputtered once and then again. Then as suddenly as Emma has brought it forth, it was gone. The space it had occupied seemed unnaturally still. Killian stared at the space, now just a blank wall, dumbfounded. The only sounds in the room were Regina's laboured breathing and Killian's pulse pounding in his ears.

"Do you know what you've just done, mate?" Killian said finally, shaking David's arm off.

"I just saved your life, _mate_ ," David spat back.

Killian turned on his heel and grabbed Regina roughly. He held her tightly, his hook hovering over her heart. He looked every bit the pirate captain he had once been. "Reopen it," He hissed. "Do it now, or so help me-"

"Unhand me, pirate," Regina said, pushing him away, her own rage boiling just beneath the surface. Her hands balled into fists. "Don't you think I would if I could?"

"Hook," Mary Margret said, moving to stand between them. Her wide eyes were brimming with tears. "Enough. You're not the only one upset. Do you honestly think we don't want our daughter back?" _That we wish she was here instead of you,_ the words she left unspoken.

Killian turned his back on the Regina and the Charmings and ran his hand through his hair. His eyes burning, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes. His chest felt tight, like it was about to burst.

"If Emma was in the portal when it closed," David asked quietly. "What will happen to her?"

Regina met David's eye and she pursed her lips. "I honestly have no idea," She said simply.

His fury demanding an outlet, Killian curled his hand into a fist and punched the wall. He heard Mary Margret gasp, but he paid her no notice. He pulled his fist from the fresh hole, welcoming the pain radiating from his hand. Without a word, he strode into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Cursing, as the door rattled loudly on its hinges. Inwardly, he admonished himself as he paced, his steps echoing heavily in the quiet space. He only had one hand and it would do him and Swan no good if he had broken it in that childish display of anger.

_Swan._ The thought of her brought a barrage of emotions to the surface. His laboured breathing caught in his throat and his stomach lurched. _He'd lost her._

Everything he had endured, the torture, the pain, the suffering, it had been for nothing. _He'd still lost her._ He leaned heavily against the wall and slumped down to the ground, his head in his hand. Desperately he searched his mind, trying to think of something, _anything_ , he could do. When it came to Emma, his path had always seemed so clear, so obvious. _Return the magical bean, be a part of something, save her boy from Neverland, trade his ship to return to the realm without magic, bring her back from New York, follow her through the Wicked Witch's portal…_ God, he would follow her anywhere. But how could he chase her, when she was lost to him? _How could he have let her go?_

He vaguely noted a faint, yet oddly fanatic, knocking, but he closed his eyes against the noise. No doubt it was Swan's parents. He didn't want them to see him, not like this. He rubbed his hand over his eyes and took a ragged breath, knowing he couldn't waste another second, not when his Swan was with that infernal Queen. His chest tightened in guilt over the fact that he had allowed himself this indulgence. He chalked it up to the fact that he hadn't slept more than four hours in the past week, although even that was a poor excuse. Sighing, he pulled himself to his feet. He opened his eyes and cast his eyes out to the sea, perhaps the one lass he hadn't disappointed in his long and miserable life.

A flash of movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned. Out of habit, his hand reached for a sword which wasn't at his side. The sight that greeted him took his breath away. She stood on the deck with her hand resting on the patio door. She was a mess of blonde hair, her cheeks rosy from the cold, her fierce green eyes gazing at him intently.

He barrelled across the room and tore the door open, nearly pulling it from its hinges. Without preamble, he pulled Emma into his arms, lifting her off the ground. He knew she was in pain, that he shouldn't hold her so tightly, but he couldn't help himself. The force of his embrace didn't seem to deter her as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. He felt her cheek, damp with tears against his, as he rocked her gently in his arms, at a loss for words.

"Emma," He mumbled her name against her skin, like a prayer, finally finding them. He set her down reverently, their bodies remained pressed tightly together. The blinding pain that had settled onto his chest was lessening every second he spent in her presence. The crushing anger that had enveloped him was gone. Begrudgingly, he loosened his hold on her, his arms settled protectively at her waist. Emma rested her forehead against his. "Bloody hell, I thought I lost you. I let you go," His voice cracked slightly and a lone tear slipped down his cheek. Soundlessly, Emma brushed it away with her thumb. "Gods, Emma I'm—"

His apology was cut short when her lips captured his. She clung to the collar of his thick coat, pulling it, and him, closer to her. She kissed him hungrily, her body arching into his. His hand drifted to her hair, cradling her against him. His other arm snaked around her waist pulling her close. Their kiss was desperate and heated, full of all the things left unsaid. He pulled away breathlessly, his eyes searching hers. She smiled and rested her palm against his cheek, her thumb tracing his scar. Toying with her blonde tresses, grains of sand fell onto the floor.

"Is that what I think it is?" He asked, quirking his brow at her.

She nodded. "The portal opened on the beach," She said gesturing over her shoulder. Biting her lip she raked her hand through his overgrown stubble. "When you weren't there, I thought I did something wrong, I thought—"

"I'm here, Swan," He said pulling her closer. She nuzzled against the crook of his neck that was quickly becoming her favourite position. "I'm livid that you pushed me through that bloody portal, but I'm here," Killian said clearing his throat, his voice thick with emotion. He fought to keep his expression stern.

"Well I'm pretty pissed you jumped in front of whatever spell she hurled at you," Emma said, pulling back to glare at him, her eyes flashing. "It could have _killed you Killian—_ "

"Emma—" He started, when a insistent knock at the door made both of them jump, their nerves still clearly on edge.

"Hook," David's voice called from the other side of the door. Killian smirked (smiles came to his face so much more easily now that Emma was safe), as he imagined the expression on the Prince's face when he pulled the short straw to talk to him. "It's David. Are you talking, is there someone in there with you?"

"Now, Swan," Killian said, with a broad smile, his hand trailing down her back. "As much as I would enjoy keeping you sequestered in here, there's some people in the other room who will be almost as happy as I am to see you and it's bad form to keep them waiting."

Emma blushed slightly and kissed his cheek roughly. She untangled their limbs and moved stiffly towards the door. She opened it with a flourish, smiling broadly at David. His jaw dropped to the floor as he took in his daughter, a little worse for the wear, but alive, _home_.

"Emma?" He said, his surprise painted on his face. He pulled her into a tight embrace. He kissed her temple, before he let her go. He frowned as he took in the bruises and cuts on her face.

"Mom," Emma said with a tight smile, her pain brewing just beneath the surface as Mary Margret pulled her in for a tight hug. "I'm okay, really." She said quickly to both her parents.

"Emma, what happened?" Snow said, tilting Emma's chin in her hand to assess her injuries. Emma brushed her off quickly. "We were so worried."

Glancing at Killian, Emma quickly recounted the past couple hours. Her parents and Regina listened intently, their body language tense. Killian barely heard her words, he just watched her, in awe, unwilling to take his eyes off of her for even a moment. He feared if he did, she might vanish as quickly as she'd reappeared. As Emma's tale turned to how she'd found Killian, bruised and bloody, her voice wavered, the pain evident in her tone. Without thinking, he reached for her hand and captured it in his own, willing her to take strength from his presence. Emma tensed and he silently cursed himself. _He was such a bloody fool_. He knew Emma would pull away from this display of affection, especially in front of her parents. He tired to save face and pull his hand back but she refused to let it go. She smiled warmly at him and squeezed his hand gently. Killian smiled back, oblivious to everything else but the feel of her hand in his, her voice washing over him.

"But how did you get, _here_ ," Regina asked, gesturing around the cottage. Her question brought Killian back to reality, his curiosity piqued. "I couldn't keep the portal open. It closed when you were still inside."

Emma shook her head. "I'm not sure," She said. "Ingrid and I, we struggled before I fell through the portal. All I know is that I was in Ice Town and then I was on the beach." She gestured over her shoulder.

"Well, at least everything worked out," Mary Margret, ever positive, said with a smile.

"Ah," Emma said as she bit the inside of her lip. "About that—"

"Miss. Swan," Regina said, sensing the problem. "Where is the hat?"

"The Snow Queen did something to it," Emma said biting the inside of her cheek. "I don't know what it's doing, but it isn't good."

"What do you mean _did something to it_?" David asked, his brow knit.

"It's down there," Emma gestured down to the beach. "It's, I don't know, _stuck_ , in the portal," She huffed and everyone, except Killian who remained at her side, walked over to the window, to take a better look. "And the portal is still open, it won't close."

"That's simply not possible," Regina huffed.

"Except it obviously is," Snow said bluntly. The portal shone brightly at the waterfront, its centre glowing especially bright.

"Well, it would seem that we are once again faced with impending doom," Killian quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

"You have no idea, pirate," Regina said crossing her arms. "Something tells me Rumpelstiltskin is not going to be pleased when he learns his precious hat is powering the Ice Queen's portal."

"Where's Henry," Emma said casting her eyes around the room, concern lacing her words.

"Belle is watching him and Neal," David said quickly. "We weren't sure what was going to come through the portal so we thought it was better to be safe."

"We need to get them. Now," Emma said. "I would prefer for our kids to be as far away as possible from Gold when he figures out I can't keep up my side of our bargain." She felt Killian tense as she mentioned her deal with the Dark One. She swallowed thickly and refused to look at him, in case he read her like he so often did. _One problem at a time._

All four heads swivelled to Regina, knowing she could magic herself there and back before any of them could even get to the door.

"Oh for heaven's sake," She said, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, the fact that you expect me to do everything…" She snapped her fingers, but instead of her trademark purple smoke whisking her away, she remained squarely in front of them. Her eyes wide she snapped her fingers again, with the same result.

"Regina," Snow said. "What's going on—"

"Miss. Swan," Regina interrupted, her voice shrill. "Use your magic, now." Emma shot Regina a confused look. "It doesn't matter, what you do. Do _anything_ ," Regina commanded, annoyed.

Emma closed her eyes and held her open palm in front of her, willing her magic to appear as she had so often before. She held her breath and then scrunched her eyes tightly as nothing happened. With a sickening lurch she realized that she felt different, empty. The near constant burning of power, of light, she had been growing accustomed to was gone. _Her magic was gone._

"I, Regina, I can't," Emma said slowly.

"This is an even worse than I thought," Regina said, glancing at the portal on the beach, the hat glowing brightly in its centre. "That portal and the infernal hat are sucking the magic out of Storybrooke."

"Come on, Hook," David said. "You're just going to let that go? No innuendo?"

"Too easy, mate," Killian said with a terse smile. "How can you be certain?" He asked Regina, wheels of a plan turning in his mind. "That all of Storybrooke is without magic, and not just you and Swan?"

"I can't," Regina said. "But the thought of the Dark One having powers when I don't, isn't something I want to consider right now."

"Aye," Killian said, wishing she based her assessment on more than wishful thinking. "Shall we fetch the children before we have to find out then?"

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

The group walked quickly down the icy streets, their breath visible in the cold air. Snow was falling, covering their footprints almost as quickly as they made them. Regina led the group with her quick, long strides. Her entire body was tensed, clearly irked that she was resigned to traditional, non-magical, forms of transportation. Especially since her son was in the clutches of the Dark One. David and Mary Margret were hot on her heels, also obviously eager to ensure their son's safety. Emma and Hook brought up the rear of the group. Although she tried to hide it, pain darted through every inch of Emma's body with each step she took. Her frustration at their situation was only growing as she and Killian fell further and further behind the rest of the group, her injuries slowing her otherwise purposeful gait.

"We need to get you to a physician, love," Killian said quietly, his eyes, fraught with concern, trailing over her injuries. His heart twisted painfully in his chest as he eyed her bruises and cuts, but what worried him more where the injuries he couldn't see. He knew the injuries beneath her skin, broken ribs, internal bleeding, and perhaps a collapsed lung, were much more serious. And judging from the pain he'd experienced earlier, required medical attention. _Soon_. He rested his hook against the small of her back, wishing he could take back the pain she'd stolen from him.

"I'm fine," Emma said tersely. Almost as soon as the words left her lips, she stumbled, either from the ice, the pain or a combination of both, and fell forward. Killian caught her elbow and wrapped his other arm around her waist, steading her.

"Swan," He said more firmly, his breath warm against her cheek. "I am uniquely aware of the pain you're experiencing. You need—"

"I'm fine," Emma interrupted as she shrugged roughly out of his grasp.

"Bloody hell, Emma," He said, grabbing her arm roughly and spinning her to face him. His eyes, dark with worry and anger, flashed. Surprised, Emma took an involuntary step back. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him like this. _Seen Hook instead of Killian._ Sensing her discomfort, Killian closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. When he opened them, he looked more like himself and his voice was even. "You're not fine and you can't expect me to just—"

"Everything okay back there?" David called. The rest of the group was waiting for them to catch up, Gold's antique shop within eyesight. Emma's parent's look concerned, while Regina simply looked inconvenienced, tapping her foot impatiently.

"It's fine. We're coming," Emma called as she pulled away from Hook again.

"Emma—" Killian said, his voice pained.

"As soon as we have Henry, alright?" Emma hissed in reply, not wanting to give her parents another reason to worry. A cool gust of wind whipped her hair around her face, and she pushed it roughly behind her ears. "I'll go to the hospital, but will you please just drop it until Henry is safe?"

"Aye," He said with a quick nod. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying anything else to change her mind. It wasn't ideal, but a compromise with his stubborn Swan was better than no accord at all. "Let's go get your boy then, shall we?" He said, resting his hook against the small of her back once again.

They hurried the remaining distance to Gold's shop, the unspoken tension hanging thickly in the air around them. Regina pushed the door open, the bell chiming softly overhead. She walked into the shop unceremoniously and without comment. The rest of the ragtag group followed closely behind her. A small voice in the back of Emma's mind registered that there was no magical protection around Gold's shop. In fact, the familiar pull of magic and power that always emanated from his store was also lacking. She wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not.

"Henry," Emma called as they walked into the shop, her voice shaking slightly. The air was still. Her steps were hesitant, her hands curled into fists at her side.

"Mom!" Henry called as he barrelled out of the back room. Emma smiled widely as she pulled him into a tight hug, wincing slightly but refusing to let her son go. _He was getting so tall_. She closed her eyes and finally let out the breath she hadn't even known she had been holding. She kissed the top of his head, beyond relieved he was okay. She wanted to believe Gold would never harm his own grandson, but she had underestimated the limits he would go to before. Henry pulled away with a smile and turned to Killian.

"Hook!" Henry said with a smile almost as large as the one he'd had for his mother. "I knew you'd be okay!" Henry hugged Hook tightly. Caught off guard, Killian just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. His arms hanging at his side. Seeming to come alive, he smiled bashfully and ruffled Henry's hair with his hand, his cheeks red.

"Aye, lad. Thanks to the quick thinking of you and your mother," He said, his voice rough. Henry smiled as he released the pirate from his embrace, genuinely pleased for the praise. Regina wasted no time in pulling Henry into her arms, hugging her son tightly.

"You're back," Belle said happily, her voice lilting, as she walked into the main room, a swaddled Neal in her arms. "All of you!" She said with a smile towards Emma and Killian. Killian gave her a small, awkward smile. Things still slightly uneasy between them since he had forced her over the town line, although they were improving. Emma blinked away her tears and smiled warmly at Killian as he scratched behind his ear, sensing his nervousness. Catching her eye, Killian returned her smile appreciatively.

"We sure are," Mary Margret said as reached for her son, greedily. The tension she'd carried in her shoulders disappeared once he was safely back in her arms. David rested his hand gently on his wife's shoulder. His features also softened with relief as he looked fondly at his son.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on them," David said with a small smile.

"Did everything go alright?" Belle asked, picking up on the tension still lingering in the space. Her wide eyes darted between their faces.

The dim chime of the bell over the door caused them all to turn sharply. Mr. Gold, bundled in a warm coat and scarf, pushed open the door. His lips were pursed in a thin line and his eyes dark. Seeing the large party inside his shop he smiled, flashing his teeth. Only Belle returned his greeting with a smile of her own.

"Well enough," Killian said quickly, unwilling to divulge any information that could be of value within the Crocodile's earshot. He rested his hand protectively on Emma's waist. Her mysterious deal with his nemesis weighing heavily in his mind.

"Well enough, _pirate_ ," Gold spat as he walked into the shop. His words sent an unpleasant shiver down Emma's spine. "That's truly how you describe what's happening down on the beach? Oh, I am well aware of our little problem," He said, seeing the look of surprise painted on their faces. He clasped his hands together. "But we're in luck, as I know how to make it go away."

"And to which _little problem_ are you referring to?" Regina asked, unwilling to let him know about her and Emma's lack of magic until he knew for certain the Dark One faced a similar affliction.

"Why, there's no magic in Storybrooke of course," Gold said with a broad smile. "Because the Snow Queen has enacted her curse—"

"But she never got her hands on a cold heart," Emma said, glancing at Killian unconsciously.

"Precisely," Gold said, impatiently waving his hands. "Which, dearie, is why I imagine any of us are still alive. The curse was cast before it was complete."

"So then how do we undo it?" David asked, cutting to the point.

"Unfortunately, in its current state, the curse cannot be broken, since it hasn't been fully cast," Gold said, his tone bored as if he was delivering a dusty lecture instead of critical information which could save their town. "So we're left with two options. Give the curse it's frozen heart and then break it after its been allowed to come to fruition—"

"You _just said_ we were only alive because the curse is missing a heart," Mary Margret interrupted, tightening her hold on Neal. Her face drawn tight at the thought of yet another dark curse befalling her family and friends. "You can't seriously be suggesting what I think you are."

"Then, the portal tethering the curse to this realm must be closed," Gold said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"And how do we do that?" David asked tersely, quickly growing tired of Gold's attitude.

"The portal is being powered by the magical object I so graciously lent Miss. Swan," Gold said, as if the answer was so obvious it was painful. "The hat is pulling magic from both realms. So, in order to close the portal we simply need to give the hat what it wants."

"Which is?" Belle asked.

"Magic," Gold said looking pointedly at Emma. "And lots of it."

"Well, that's hardly ideal," Regina scoffed. "Seeing as there's none left in Storybrooke."

_And seeing as that's exactly what you want_. _What you've wanted all along,_ Emma thought.

"The hat has taken our power, but not our magic." Gold said simply, his eyes still boring uncomfortably into Emma's. "It's easy to strip power, to drain magical energy. But taking the essence of one's magic, what the hat truly seeks, now that's a completely different, much more… violent process."

Killian clenched his jaw as he thought of the last time he had seen the hat in action. Of the old man screaming as his magical essence, as Gold called it, was taken from him. _More violent indeed._

"You seem to know a lot more about this curse, and the hat, since the last time we spoke," Emma said, struggling to keep her voice level. Her anger at Gold's unwillingness to help anyone aside from himself, and his thinly veiled implication, brewing just beneath the surface. "I can't help but wonder why that is."

"I've done some research since we last spoke, dearie," Gold said with a smile. Emma read the lie on his face as easily as if the words were painted on his forehead, but she said nothing. There was no point.

"Swan," Killian said interrupting their impending fierce confrontation. "You assured me you would seek medical attention, love," He prompted her. He wanted to get her as far away from the Dark One as he could manage. And in a town where no one could cross the city limits, that was easier said than done.

Emma nodded to show she'd heard him. "Come on Henry," She said to her son, never taking her eyes off of Gold. "Let's get you and your uncle out of here."

* * *

After what felt like an eternity of ultrasounds, X-rays, poking, prodding, and general concern and cooing from her family, Emma was finally left to herself. She had to practically force her parents, Neal and Henry home. She hated them seeing her like this. _Broken_. So she'd begged them for some time to sleep and they left, but not before repeatedly promising they would be back with a moment's notice as soon as she woke up.

With nothing but the dull, persistent tick of the clock to occupy her thoughts, and sleep the last thing on her mind, she lay on the hospital bed, her muscles aching. A bottle of medication for the pain sat on the table beside her, unopened. She didn't want her senses to be dulled in anyway for the climatic confrontation between her and the Snow Queen. One that she was almost certain was on the way.

A soft knock at the door jarred Emma from her from her thoughts. Emma's head swivelled quickly, her heart pounding in her chest. She was certain it would be Killian. She wasn't exactly sure when he had left her side during the hustle and bustle of the barrage of medical tests, and she didn't care. She just wanted nothing more than for him to climb up with her on the small bed and hold her until everything was alright again. She tried to hide her surprise, and disappointment, when instead of her dashing pirate, a small blonde woman stood hesitantly at her doorway.

"Hi Elsa," Emma said with a small smile she hoped would compensate for her guilt. With everything that had happened with Killian, she had nearly forgotten about Elsa and her missing sister. _Another excellent showing from the Saviour_.

"I'm sorry, am I intruding—"

"No, please," Emma said, wincing as she pulled herself into a more upright position. "Come in," She motioned to the empty chair beside her. Elsa came in and sat down daintily. She looked around awkwardly, as if she didn't know where to begin.

"Is everything okay, I mean besides…" Emma trailed off unsure of the words to classify lost sisters, tortured pirates, and menacing, magic draining portals.

"Yes," Elsa said. "Well no. Not really. I just came by to see if you were awake, and if you could be moved. The portal seems to be growing more powerful. Regina said it's going to be like a _hurricane_ ," Elsa furrowed her brow at the unfamiliar word and Emma nodded to show she understood.

"It's like a big wind storm," Emma explained simply.

"I understood as much," Elsa nodded. "Everyone is taking shelter in the vault and in the caves under the library. Your parents are gathering supplies and organizing the town, but now that you're awake, they told me to let them know…"

"No, it's okay. They're busy," Emma said sincerely. They had enough to worry about, she didn't need to add to it. Emma closed her eyes, her mind working frantically as she tried to think of something, anything she could do. _Besides the obvious that was._ Emma worried her lip between her teeth, the only question she wanted to ask sitting at the tip of her tongue. "Um, is Killian, Hook, is he helping with organizing the shelters too?"

Elsa hesitated. "I haven't seen him," She said after a moment. "But Emma, I don't think you should trust him, there's something about him—"

"You just don't know him," Emma said quickly jumping to his defence. "I would trust him with my life, with my son's life," Emma amended when she saw the look of doubt on Elsa's face.

"I can't explain it, it's just, Emma, did she, the Snow Queen, do something to him?" Elsa said quietly.

"Well, they didn't sit around and watch Netflix if that's what you mean," Emma huffed, trying, and failing, to keep the frustration and annoyance out of her voice. She knew Killian. Knew him much better than Elsa. She would know if there something going on. _Except she'd missed the whole two-hand Gold tape debacle._ But that was because she _hadn't wanted to see it._ _Right?_ Unbidden, the look in Killian's, _Hook's_ , eyes as he ordered her to see a doctor only hours ago flashed in her mind and Emma swallowed thickly.

"Elsa—" Emma started.

"Well, Emma," Dr. Whale interrupted, walking briskly into the room, clearly not bothered by the discussion the women were enthralled in. Both women jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. "All things considered, you're in pretty good shape." He placed the X-ray film on the light-box, turning it on to inspect the image of her chest. "Four broken ribs, pneumothorax, which we've already corrected."

Emma winced slightly as she eyed the tube sticking out of her chest. Well she understood, in an academic sense, it had helped her lung re-inflate, it was itchy as hell. She shifted uncomfortably, not for the first time this afternoon longing for magic. She would take a quick flick of Regina's wrist over modern medicine any day.

"You're bleeding internally, and it's borderline as to if you'll require surgery," Whale said. "Observation may be appropriate at first, we'll decide tomorrow if you need—"

"No way," Emma said quickly, her mind still reeling from Elsa's words. "I am _not_ staying overnight and I want this tube out. Now."

"I really have to protest—"

"Do it, Whale," Emma huffed. "Or I swear to God, I will do it myself." To underscore her point, Emma pulled the IV line out of her arm, without flinching. "I'm not resting at the hospital while all hell is breaking loose out there…"

Dr. Whale rolled his eyes and moved to Emma's bedside. "Fine, Emma. On one condition, first thing tomorrow, you're back here," The doctor said, not wanting the Saviour's blood, literally and figuratively, on his hands. "And if there's any new bruising around your torso, you come into the emergency room. Immediately."

"Fine," Emma said. She closed her eyes as he removed the tube and dressed the small puncture mark with gauze. Once he finished, Emma slid, as gracefully as she could manage off the bed. Elsa sat quietly on the chair, her lips pursed. She looked as if she disapproved, but she said nothing.

"Emma," Dr. Whale said as Emma gathered her clothes. "I mean it, first thing tomorrow. If your bleeding hasn't stopped we'll have to have a discussion—"

"I get it," Emma said exasperated. "See you tomorrow doc." Dr. Whale rolled his eyes again and walked out of the room, muttering to himself like a mad man. Emma's chest X-ray still illuminated on the wall behind him.

"Tell my parents and Henry I'll meet them in the caves," Emma said to Elsa as she pulled her jeans on, under her hospital gown. She was thankful that someone, probably her mother, had dropped off clean, warm clothes.

"Where are you going?" Elsa asked, concerned.

"To find Killian," Emma said, meeting the blonde's icy stare with her own. "And don't try and talk me out of it."

"I wouldn't dare," Elsa said with a smile. "I overheard him telling David he was going to Granny's. Probably to rest, he looked dead on his feet."

"Okay, thanks," Emma said as she tugged her boots on.

"And Emma," Elsa said as she hovered in the doorway. "I know you said you trust him, but just, be careful okay?" Emma nodded once before Elsa shut the door behind her to allow her some privacy to finish changing.

* * *

Granny's, the restaurant and the inn, was completely empty. No doubt thanks to the onslaught of weather outside. It was a hurricane alright, but with snow, Emma had never seen anything like it. The normally five minute drive from the hospital to the main street had been white knuckled and had taken her closer to twenty. Her car skidding and sliding the entire way. The whole time, Emma's heart had been in her throat, Elsa's warning ringing in her ears.

The bounty hunter in Emma took a quick glance at the keys behind the main desk at the inn and determined that only three rooms were currently occupied. Emma knocked at the first door and then the second. When there was no answer, she picked the locks. There was also no sign of Killian. Although Emma did learn that Tink was, as she said, back at Granny's. As was, judging from his closet, a rather burly man with a penchant for plaid. Emma stood at the third and final door, wondering if Elsa had led her on a while goose chase. Her hair was wet with melted snow and her body was protesting every moment she made. Although, she had to give Dr. Whale credit, breathing was much less painful without a collapsed lung.

Without knocking, Emma crouched and picked the lock. The wind howled loudly from outside as she worked. Hearing the satisfying click of the tumblers, she threw the door open without ceremony, expecting it to be empty like the rest. The room was dark, so she walked in and flicked on the light. With a start she realized the room wasn't empty. Killian sat on the chair in the corner, drinking from his flask.

His warm down jacket was thrown on the bed, as were all the bloodstained clothes Emma had helped him struggle into hours ago. He wore a pair of dark jeans, which sat low on his slender hips and one of his trademark button down shirts. It appeared he had showered and shaved, as his beard was back to his regular scruff and dried blood was no longer clinging to his skin. Although Emma could make out a fair number of faint yellow bruises still painted along his exposed skin. His hair was mussed, as if he'd run his hand through it many times.

"Hey," Emma said from the doorway, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "Where've you been?"

"Swan," He said with a smirk. "By all means, do come in." Emma closed the door gently behind her and walked cautiously towards him. "Fancy a sip of rum, love?" He asked, holding his flask towards her.

Emma hesitated and then reached for the flask. She took a long sip, the alcohol burning her throat. She vaguely considered if this form of self medicating was better or worse than the unopened bottle of prescription pain pills in her bug, but decided she didn't really care what the answer was. For lack of a better place, she sat on the bed, trying not to look at the bloody clothes as she pushed them to the foot of the bed.

"You've come from the physician?" Killian asked, eyeing her carefully.

"Yeah, the hospital just released me," Emma said softly. She met his eye and tried to keep the hurt from her voice. "I was hoping you'd be there."

"Apologies, Swan," Killian said. "The past week has been rather taxing for me, as I am sure you can imagine. David suggested, insisted rather, that I retire here while we awaited the results from your tests. It would appear I am once again homeless, as my cottage is squarely in the eye of this bloody storm."

Emma felt her stomach flip. His tone was flippant and cold. She would have chalked it up to his exhaustion or frustration, but Elsa's warning repeated itself over and over in the back of her mind. She cleared her throat before speaking.

"Doesn't seem like you're resting to me," She said. She searched his clear, blue eyes, dulled slightly, no doubt from the rum.

"And you expected more? From a one-handed pirate with a drinking problem," Killian smirked, raising his brow.

"You're more than that, Killian," Emma said softly, the walls of the inn creaking and crackling around her. She wanted to reach out and take his hand in hers, but the space between them suddenly seemed so vast. Distantly in her mind she registered that they had to get to some kind of shelter. Soon. "You know that you're more to me than—"

"Am I? Then tell me, Swan, what deal did you make with with Crocodile?" His eyes flashed dangerously as he drummed his fingers along the table. "That you've conveniently kept me in the dark about?"

"It doesn't matter," Emma said, slightly taken aback by his clear and present anger.

"What did you promise the Crocodile, Swan?" He asked again, his jaw tightly clenched. Emma met his eyes and swallowed thickly, considering her next words carefully.

"I agreed to let him take my magic, with the hat, after we got back," Emma said with a sigh. Killian rose roughly to his feet and paced away from Emma, his hand running through his hair.

"Bloody hell, Emma," Killian said cursing. "You realize what that means," Killian said turning to look at her, swallowing thickly. "You agreed to die—"

"I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to come back," Emma shot back angrily, the room suddenly feeling much warmer. She grit her teeth and pinched the bridge of her nose. "And I never intended to go through with it, not once I realized I could come home. I just, I would have said anything Killian," Emma said exacerbated. "I just needed to get to you. Get you back."

"Aye," Killian scoffed. "And it never occurred to you that reneging on deals with Dark One was foolish? Particularly when they involve your life?"

"As if you have any right to lecture me about making deals with the Dark One," Emma said, her eyes flashing. She cursed herself the moment the words left her lips.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I—"

"The tape," He said, raising his voice. "You're still on about the bloody tape. Forgive me for wanting to be a better man for you, Swan. It won't happen again, I assure you."

"What's the matter with you?" Emma yelled, matching his tone with her own. She didn't remember rising from the bed, but she must have because she was standing in front of him, smoke coming out of her ears.

"Give me the rum," Killian said, reaching for the flask, his eyes dark. "You drive me to the bottle, you know that don't you?"

"No," Emma said, pulling it out of his grasp. "Talk to me, what is going on with you?"

He reached for the flask again, and caught her wrist. He pulled her closer, their chests crashing together. Emma swallowed and looked up at him, defiantly. Emma could feel the heat radiating off of his body and his breath smelled like rum. Unable to control herself, she moistened her lips with her tongue.

"I can't lose you, Emma," Killian said simply. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. He sounded utterly wrecked.

"Then don't," Emma said. She rested her free hand on his cheek and gently pulled his lips down to meet hers. The kiss started soft and sweet, but quickly the fire and passion between them turned it heated and frantic. He tasted like rum, and Emma's breathing quickly became laboured as he pulled her jacket of her heated body. He pushed her roughly against the wooden door, the air knocked from her lungs, the flask dropped to the floor and forgotten. Emma flinched slightly, as her broken ribs protested the force of the impact.

Despite the fact that Emma initiated the contact, Killian's lips continued to claim hers in a bruising kiss, bordering on painful. His tongue demanded entrance. When she hesitated, the _snowicane_ only growing in intensity outside, Killian bit her bottom lip roughly. She gasped in surprise and he took the opportunity to roughly thrust his tongue into her mouth. His kiss was desperate and dominating. Emma's recovering lungs begged for oxygen, but Killian granted her no reprieve. His hand snaked under her shirt and Emma winced as he brushed roughly against her cuts and broken ribs.

"Woah," Emma said breathlessly, finally breaking the kiss. Her palms rested against his cheeks, she pulled his eyes to meet hers. "Easy there, tiger."

Killian responded by pressing his body more tightly against hers. He sucked and nipped at her tender skin of her neck, her collar, her jaw, anything he could make contact with. Emma squirmed as the combination of pain, from her injuries, and the pleasure from Killian's ministrations washed over her. He used his knee to part her thighs and Emma moaned when he rocked his hardening length against her jean claud core. His calloused hand roughly toyed and palmed her breasts from overtop her lacy bra.

She moved to undo the buttons on his shirt. Suddenly, he grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands roughly above her head. Emma gasped as her shoulder, and the ghost of Killian's dislocation, screamed at the movement. He dug his hook into the door, pinning her arms at the wrists above her. His hand moved to the button on her jeans, working it free quickly. He moved to slide his hand in her panties, but Emma twisted away.

"Killian," Emma said, her chest rising and falling erratically. "Slow down. My ribs are still broken, my shoulder is killing me. I know you don't mean to, but you're hurting me."

"What's the matter, Swan," He said. "Can't you handle it?" He bit her pulse roughly, his teeth leaving a mark and Emma flinched against the pain. Emma ungracefully pulled her hands free of his hook, the muscles in her shoulder aching.

"Killian," She said loudly, as she shoved him away roughly. "What's the matter with you? I said you're hurting me."

"What's the problem, Swan?" He asked, laughing heartily. "Have you grown tired of me, now that I'm through acting like a lost puppy following you around? Now that I've stopped being your pitiful plaything."

"What's my problem? What's yours? Why are you acting like this?" Emma yelled, seeing red. She felt her blood boiling in her veins. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"Perhaps I am just tired of this game that we always seem to be engaged in. This back and forth. How long can we keep this up, Swan? Before one of us breaks?"

"Killian—"

"I can't help but wonder, would we even be here if Baelfire hadn't died? Because I seriously doubt if he were alive that you have _ever_ chosen me. Admit it, Swan, I was never your first choice—"

Her vision clouded with rage and tears, Emma slapped Killian as hard as she could, the smack ringing loudly in the room. The force of her actions shocking Killian into silence.

"How dare you…" Emma started, but the rest of her words failed her. She turned her back on him and crossed her arms over her chest as the tears building threatened to fall. Her hand strung painfully. So much so, that she almost felt guilty for striking him. _Almost._

"Gods, Emma I am sorry, I didn't," He reached for her shoulder, his touch significantly more tender. "Love, please, forgive me."

"Do you honestly feel that way?" Emma said, turning to face him, the fury within her morphing into a consuming fear. "After everything we've been through, do you think—" The rest of her words were lost as the tears she had been holding began to fall down her cheeks. She buried her head in her hands. _God she was pathetic._

"Of course not. Bloody hell, I didn't mean a word of that," He said quickly, his voice overflowing with emotion as he pulled her into his arms. Emma closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, her arms tight around his shoulders. Her face buried in the crook of his neck. "Gods, Emma, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me, I—"

Suddenly, Killian gasped and pulled away from her, his hand clutching his chest tightly. His eyes closed tightly against the pain. He fell to his knees, the sensation in his chest burning tightly. He felt like a frozen hand was tightening around his heart.

"Killian," Emma said, her voice several octaves too high. "Killian!" She clung to his arm and tried to slow his decent to the floor, following him as he went. "Talk to me, what's happening?"

"Bloody hell, Emma," Killian said, his voice a whisper. "I'm sorry, I thought I would have more time—"

Refusing to even acknowledge his comment, Emma pulled away from him. She was back at his side in an instant with his thick coat. She began forcing his arms through the sleeves. "Put this on," She said, her voice authoritative. "Dr. Whale is a mad man, but without magic, he is the best we can do. He'll fix you up, Killian."

"Emma," Killian said softly. "He can't fix this." His fingers shaking, Killian undid the buttons on his shirt. There was a patch of eerily bright blue ice on his chest directly over his heart. The veins under his skin around his heart pulsed a translucent blue in time with his heartbeat. Emma gingerly touched the ice. She wasn't surprised to find it cold to the touch despite the heat of the room. Killian winced at the contact, so she quickly withdrew her hand.

"What," Emma started, her voice weak. She cleared her throat and tried again. "How long has it been like this?"

"Since the Snow Queen hit me with her spell, before we came through the portal," Killian said quietly. "I'd hoped that without magic its effects would stop or even lessen, but alas." Killian clutched his chest tightly as another shockwave of pain hit him.

Emma pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts. "Regina," She said into the phone, not even caring how frantic her voice sounded, her eyes never leaving Killian's. "You need to come to Granny's. Something's wrong with Killian." She paused, Killian presumed to listen to the other woman. "I know the weather's bad, but it's an emergency. Please Regina." Another pause. "Okay." Emma hung up the phone and set it down on the floor beside her.

"Killian," Emma said, her voice shaky. She grabbed his face roughly between her hands and rested her forehead against his. "Don't you dare do this to me. I swear to God if you try to leave me, I'll kill you myself."

"Aye, Swan," Killian chuckled in spite of himself. "Believe me, you don't have to worry about me."

"Because you're a survivor."

"Aye, Emma," He said, the laughter gone from his voice. "That I am."

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

Emma watched Regina and Killian, her entire body taunt, ready to spring into action. Trying to relieve some of her pent up energy, she paced restlessly, almost certain that she was going to wear a hole in the wooden floor. To her credit, Regina had managed to get to the inn remarkably quickly. Although it hadn't felt like it to Emma. Every second they'd waited had etched itself in her memory, every flicker of pain she'd watched dart across his face. Killian sat on the bed, his back leaning heavily against the headboard, his shirt undone. His hand clutched at the sheets tightly. His bare chest exposed, the pale blue patch of ice over his heart shining brightly. He winced as Regina poked and prodded his chest, muttering quietly to herself as she went.

She wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but Regina's fingers seem to linger for just a little too long against Killian's skin for her liking. Regina was close enough to Killian that his chest hair moved slightly with each breath that she exhaled. Emma felt a flush creeping onto her skin and she clenched her fists tightly. _It's not like I have any claim over him,_ she thought to herself. _Didn't she_? She wondered. Shaking her head, she swallowed thickly and continued to watch them soundlessly. The knot of jealously in her stomach growing and twisting with each passing second.

"Do you know what's happening, or do you need to rub your hands on him some more?" Emma finally burst out, her voice chipped. Her words shot Killian's eyebrows towards his hairline. He found her eyes and Emma inwardly groaned when she saw the smug smile on his face, his tongue resting behind his teeth. _He looked like himself._ In spite of herself, Emma smiled, a tiny spark of optimism taking root in her chest. _They could get through this._

"Please," Regina scoffed, rising from her crouch beside Killian. "Have you forgotten I'm doing you a favour Miss. Swan?"

"I'm sorry, just," Emma sighed heavily, running her hands through her hair. _God, she was being ridiculous._ "What's going on?"

"Well, the good news is that now we know what is tethering the portal to this side and keeping it open," Regina said pursing her lips and gesturing to Killian's chest.

"So the Crocodile lied?" Killian asked, although his tone sounded as if he was anything but surprised. "The bloody hat isn't the tether?"

"It would appear so," Regina said drily. "My guess is that the hat is no more than a power source…"

"Can we use it, this _tether_ ," Emma interrupted, the spark in her chest growing to a flame. "Can we use it to shut the portal?"

"Yes," Regina said quietly, crossing her arms. "But the bad news is, you're not going to like it."

"What is it?" Emma asked cautiously, her hope wavering slightly. Regina hesitated as her eyes darted to Killian furtively. "Regina?" Emma asked again.

"I believe her majesty means to kill me, Swan," Killian said, matter of factly. His tone sounding almost like he agreed with her. "I imagine it's rather difficult for the curse to use me as tether if I'm dead."

"Not an option," Emma said, without hesitation. She moved towards them, placing herself squarely between Killian and Regina, just in case Regina got any ideas.

"So you would risk everyone's lives, your son's included, for _him_ ," Regina spat as she gestured to Killian, her eyes incredulous.

"I said, it's not an option," Emma said again, meeting Regina's eyes unflinchingly.

"Swan—" Killian said from behind her, his voice laced with desperation.

"Just, stop," Emma said holding her hands in front of her. They shook visibly, so she dropped them back to her side quickly. "Let's back up. Tell me what's happening."

"This is old magic, Miss. Swan," Regina said rolling her eyes and shifting her weight impatiently. "We don't have time for me to educate you in the intricacies—"

"Regina," Emma interrupted, her voice ringing out in the small space. She took a deep breath and forced herself to speak calmly. "Please, just what's going on?" She swallowed thickly to try and clear the lump that was forming in her throat. "What did she do to him?"

"Like I said," Regina said, sighing loudly, but to Emma's relief, compiling. "This magic is old. Essentially, the pirate's heart wasn't cold, so Ingrid tried to freeze it. The spell latches on to every negative emotion and uses it to turn his heart."

"Why didn't she do this from the start? Why…" Killian hesitated, his eyes darkening as the took in Emma. Her injuries. _His old injuries._ His chest tightened painfully and he tried to banish the thoughts from his mind, Regina's words ringing in his ear. "Why the production?"

"Because this method is slow," Regina said. "And unreliable. If there were any magic left in this realm, even Miss. Swan could easily undo it. And if the spell were to be reversed, your heart would be immune from such magic, which, from the Snow Queen's perspective, would be undesirable to say the least."

"So what you're saying is," Emma said, her voice coming out surprisingly steady. "Since there's no magic, the only way to fix this, to fix everything, is to close the portal?"

"Yes, closing the portal would do it. Although," Regina said, pursing her lips as she considered her words. "In theory, it might be possible to reverse the spell without magic, and there's a _chance_ that would close the portal…"

"How?" Emma said, fighting to keep the desperation from her voice.

"It's an oversimplification, but the spell to reverse this, floods the heart with good emotions, happiness, joy, love. It might be possible to do the same and break the spell without magic, but I can't be certain…"

"What do you need to be certain?" Emma asked.

"There's books in my vault, but Emma, even _if_ it was possible, _and that's a big if_ ," Regina paused and lowered her voice. "There's a very real chance it's too late. That he's already too far gone."

"Okay," Emma said, the dim beginnings of a plan forming in her mind. She looked at Killian, a small smile on her lips. He returned her smile quickly and she felt her heart flutter. "Let us know when you're certain."

"If you're serious about this, you need to keep his heart warm," Regina said. "If this curse of hers succeeds, we are all in a world of trouble."

"Okay, no problem," Emma said, nodding furiously. "We'll get blankets and a hot water bottle and—"

"Emma," Regina said, her voice impossibly lower, her tone more than a little annoyed. "I mean, _emotionally_ warm."

"Oh," Emma said. "Of course. I, we can handle this Regina."

"I certainly hope so, because," A particularly powerful gust of wind interrupted whatever warning Regina had intended to share. The storm rattled the small inn, the walls creaking loudly against the onslaught. "We need to get to shelter, before it's too late." She said instead, her eyes dark.

"Go," Emma said, her eyes drifting back to Killian, who sat strangely quiet on the bed. "We're right behind you."

"Emma—"

"I said we're right behind you. And Regina," Emma said, her tone friendlier. "Thank-you. For everything."

Regina was visibly surprised at Emma's gratitude. She eyed Emma as if she was a wild animal preparing to pounce, then nodded carefully. Shooting once last glance at Killian, Regina strode into the hall, her boots clicking as she went.

"Swan," Killian started, his face drawn, dark circles under his eyes.

Emma ignored him and soundlessly crossed the remaining space between her and the bed. Without preamble, she climbed beside him. She took his hand and laced her fingers through his. She rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. The storm continued to howl outside, but that too, she ignored. She breathed in his scent and listened to his steady breathing. Her thoughts were racing, her shaky plan solidifying. She couldn't risk that Regina was right. _That Killian was already too far gone._ She knew what she needed to do, _what she had to do_. She just wasn't sure she had the courage.

"I don't know how you did it," Emma finally said softly. She pulled herself closer to him, so their bodies were connected from their ankles to the top of her head. She was comforted by the warmth that radiated from his body.

"Did what, love?" He asked quietly. He shifted slightly and moved his arm around her shoulders, holding her close to him. He held her hand tightly, refusing to let her go for even a second.

"Got through that year when I was in New York," Emma said, her tongue suddenly feeling thick, her mouth dry. "I, that week you were gone, I mean, at least you knew I was safe but," Emma paused and swallowed thickly. Her eyes prickled as she felt tears threatening. Killian tensed beside her and her pulled her more tightly against him, mindful of her injuries. "But if you felt like I did, _like I do_ , then I just, I don't know how you did it."

"And how is it that you feel, Emma?" He asked quietly, after a brief moment of hesitation. His tone somehow both apprehensive and hopeful.

Emma pulled away from his hold to meet his eye squarely. Trepidation painted his face and he swallowed audibly, his Adam's apple bobbing. She felt her heart flutter again. _He always seemed to make it do that._ As Emma looked into his eyes, deep, bottomless pools of blue, she almost said it. _I love you, I love you, I love you,_ she screamed in her head. She knew this, of all times, was the time to say it. But she wouldn't, _more like couldn't_ , bring herself to do it. _Not if she was going to lose him_.

Instead she smiled and cupped his face between her hands, her thumb gently stroking the scar on his cheek. Pulling him towards her, she closed her eyes and kissed him. _Really kissed him, because this was it._ And if she couldn't say it, she could at least show him. She sighed as his hand ran through her hair, his arm tightly around her waist as he pulled her closer. His mouth, hot and demanding against hers, his scruff gently tickling her palms. The smell of him, _leather, rum, and the sea_ , surrounded her. It was overwhelming, but at the same time, not enough. _God, she wished she had more time._

She lightly bit his bottom lip, trying to deepening the kiss. And of course he immediately responded, a low moan vibrating from deep within his chest. _He'd never denied her anything._ Her hands drifted to his hair and she tugged lightly, tilting his head so her tongue could pillage his eager mouth. He groaned and returned her efforts with equal fervour. Reluctantly, Emma broke the kiss. One of her hands remained tangled in his hair, the other toyed with the cool metal beneath her fingers. Trying in vain to keep her breathing level, she rested her forehead against his. Relishing their closeness. _Their one, last moment of intimacy._

"I'm so, so sorry," Emma whispered against his lips, her vision clouded by tears.

"Emma," Killian scoffed, a large smile on his face. "You've nothing to be sorry of, love. I—" He froze, his eyes wide with surprise. The dull click of handcuffs interrupting him. Emma leapt back, out of his grasp. He reached for her with his hook, but she evaded him. His good wrist was firmly attached to the cuffs, which in turn were firmly attached to the headboard.

"Swan," He said, his voice low and laced with thinly concealed anger. "You cannot mean to leave me like this—"

"Killian, please," Emma said, her eyes threatening to overflow. "You heard what Regina said, you can't be mad—"

"Then bloody unchain me," He barked, pulling roughly against the bed frame. "Gods, Swan, don't do this, I mean it."

"I'm sorry," Emma said, her voice barely a whisper. "But I can _fix this._ I'm supposed to be the Saviour Killian. Besides it should have been me! Ingrid should have taken me from the very beginning—"

"Emma," He pleaded, his wrist already raw from his struggle. He reached for her again. Emma was already out of his reach, but she took a step back anyways. "Don't do this, we'll find another way. Together…"

"I'm sorry," She said again. _I can't risk it,_ she thought. Emma took one last look at him before she turned and strode out the room, grabbing her jacket off the chair as she went. She shut the door behind her and leaned against the wood, her knees shaky. She heard his shouts and cries, muffled from behind the door. His curses rang in her ears and she closed her eyes against the sound. Her shoulders heaved and she sobbed quietly. Giving herself only a moment to wallow, she wiped her tears with the back of her hand and admonished herself. _She didn't have much time._ Killian would surly pick the lock, so she had to hurry.

* * *

Emma stood on the beach, her hair billowing behind her, panting slightly. Her ever faithful yellow bug, perhaps sensing her plan, had simply refused to turn over, forcing her to hoof it. It wasn't a long walk from Granny's to Killian's cottage, but the icy winds and snow had made it feel like a trek. Every inch of her flesh that had been exposed was tingling painfully from the cold. Ice clinging to her face, her hair, _hell her eyelashes._ Her limbs felt heavy, from dread, exhaustion or the cold she wasn't sure.

Killian hadn't been kidding, his cottage was directly in the eye of the storm. Getting here had been difficult between the almost violent wind and snow, but a calmness had settled over the beach. Barely any snow had fallen here and the waves lapped peacefully against the shore. She could make out the barrier where the storm began, the sudden change in weather jarring. Emma held her phone in her hands. Considering calling her parents, Henry, but she hadn't a clue what to say, where to even start. Instead, she typed a quick message to each of them.

_I love you xo_

It wasn't much, but she'd never been the kind of girl who made elaborate declarations of her love. Although, times like this she wished she was. She dropped the phone on the sand before any of them had a chance to reply.

Emma took a deep breath and tried to push down the feeling of dread building in her stomach. She bit back the sting of bile at the back of her throat when she considered that Gold was going to get exactly what he wanted. _Her power in that god damn hat._ The only sound in the tranquil pocket came from the portal, whirling and emitting a soft light. There was something oddly comforting about it. Emma wondered vaguely how she was supposed to active the hat, suspended in the middle of the portal. When she took a step towards it, it whirled to life and she knew her plan would work. She could do this. She was the Saviour. She could save her parents, Henry, Killian and everyone else in Storybrooke. She owed them that much.

She closed her eyes and took a deep, ragged breath. Opening her eyes again, she looked out to the ocean, tears falling slowly down her cheeks. "I love you, Killian Jones," She whispered to the sea. Because she had to say it aloud, at least once. Content with her final words, she walked closer to the portal, the pull of the hat becoming stronger, and more painful, with each step.

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

_Emma closed her eyes and took a deep, ragged breath. Opening her eyes again, she looked out to the ocean, tears falling slowly down her cheeks. "I love you, Killian Jones," She whispered to the sea. Because she had to say it aloud, at least once. Content with her final words, she walked closer to the portal, the pull of the hat becoming stronger, and more painful, with each step._

The wind gently blew her hair across her face, momentarily obstructing her vision. She tucked the errant strands behind her ears and bit her bottom lip. She drew in a halting breath as something, _magic she supposed_ , prickled uncomfortably against her skin. The light from the hat had been steadily growing brighter the nearer she came to it. Emma felt oddly calm as she extended her arms, the muscles in her shoulder protesting, willing the process to just take her magic more quickly. _To just get it over with already._ She scrunched her eyes tightly against the now blinding light. Perhaps it was because she was giving her magic freely, but while certainly not enjoyable, the experience was nowhere near as painful as she'd imagined it would be.

Then, out of nowhere, it suddenly was. Her broken ribs and aching muscles screamed as the world lurched around her. With a jolt, the air was knocked out of her lungs and she gasped for breath, her brain struggling to reconcile the assault of sensations with what was happening. A cold, heavy weight pressed down on her chest, further impeding her breathing. The hot, uncomfortable prickle of magic was gone from her skin and she was left with slight chill.

Summoning all of her strength, Emma tore her eyes open. The sight she saw took what remained of her feeble breath away. Those eyes, _his eyes,_ impossibly blue, bore into her so intensely she could almost _feel_ his gaze. His dark brows knit in frustration. His face hovered a hairsbreadth from hers.

"Killian," Emma asked, dumbfounded. Her brow furrowed as she fought to understand what was happening. She had never been one for religion, but for a moment she wondered if she'd died and this was heaven. _She'd certainly never expected it to be this painful_ , she thought as her battered body cursed the weight pressing down on her.

"You bloody, insufferable—" Killian said, his words hot against her skin. _He_ was the weight crushing her body, pinning her onto the sand. His eyes blazed and his jaw was tightly clenched. Heat radiated off of every inch of his body. The only exception being his chest, which felt like ice against Emma, even through her thick jacket.

"Killian," Emma said again, swallowing thickly. "How did you get here?" _Where is here_ , she wondered, her question let unspoken. His presence totally encompassed, _overwhelmed,_ her. Slightly dazed, she rested her hand against his cheek, her thumb toying with his scar.

"I bloody ran here. Through the bloody snowstorm," He said, as he rose to his feet, pulling her with him, his hand grasping her forearm tightly. Emma grimaced from the movement and his eyes softened. He gently tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear with his hook. Tenderly bushing the sand from her with his hand as he went. "Forgive me for the roughness, love. Your manoeuvre with the shackles robbed me of any time I might have had to use a little more… finesse."

Emma took a shaky half step away from him. Her thoughts becoming less muddled as she regained her personal space, breathed her own air. Soundlessly, she studied Killian, for a moment still doubting his presence. He looked the definition of dishevelled; his hair mussed, handcuff dangling from his wrist, his shirt misbuttoned, as if he'd hastily buttoned it on the run. Which, Emma surmised, was likely exactly what he had done. He wore no jacket and his skin had taken on a rosy hue from both the cold and the exertion of his rapid dash to the beach.

Her eyes drifted, seemingly of their own accord, from Killian to the still glowing portal over his shoulder. She bit her lip in contemplation. Nothing had changed, not really. _Except now it would be even harder for her to do what she needed to._ She furtively tore her gaze back to Killian, and flashed him a small smile, as she took another half step back. Hoping against all hope that her observant pirate would, _for once_ , not read her. _Not bloody likely_ , Emma thought as his eyes darkened and he reached for her. She tried to jump out of his reach, but he was too fast for her. His hand tightly wrapped around her arm, pulling her closer to him.

"What in the blazes do you think you're doing, Swan?" He growled as he half carried, half dragged Emma away from the portal. His hooked arm wrapped tightly around her waist, his hand keeping a firm hold on her arm. She struggled against him for a moment, but then went limp. She knew a well placed knee to his groin was all that stood between her and that hat, but she couldn't bring herself to have that be his last memory of her. She sighed heavily in his arms. _Why did he always chase after her?_

"What do you think?" She bellowed, pushing him roughly after he set her down, finally deeming her to be a safe distance from the event horizon of the portal. "I'm _trying_ to save your life! I just got you back, Killian! I—"

"Aye, my mistake, love. How could I have forgotten the steps to this dance we seem to be trapped in? Sacrificing ourselves for the other, over and over. Well, I hate to break it to you, Swan, but I have no desire to die for you. Nor for you to sacrifice yourself for me," He kept his body squarely between her and the portal, and the hat. His fingers curled tightly around her forearm, as if he were afraid she would suddenly dart around him.

"Well you could have fooled me," Emma huffed, rolling her eyes. The hundred or so times Hook had jumped between her and danger on the tip of her tongue. She pulled her arm free from his grasp and rested it against her side. While she hadn't exactly been in fine form earlier, Killian's tackle had not helped matters and her side throbbed painfully from her recent impact with the ground. Killian tensed, breathing heavily. He studied her warily, no doubt considering if she intended to attempt to run again. When Emma gave no indication that she planned to do so, aside from returning his fierce gaze defiantly, Killian's features slowly softened.

"Just because I am _willing_ doesn't mean I _want to,_ " He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, the metal of the handcuff jingling lightly from the movement. He looked pained. Whether it was from the physical pain of his heart, or her actions, Emma wasn't sure. "What I want, Swan, is a life with you, by your side. Whatever that entails. Fighting villains, teaching you and your boy to sail, waking up with you in my arms, and everything else in between. I want it all, Emma. I don't want to die for you. I want to grow old with you. That's all I've ever wanted."

"Killian, I," Emma said, her voice soft, a lump forming in her throat. She blinked rapidly to fight the tears stinging behind her eyes. She felt more than a little speechless. She meet his piecing stare, the sincerity of his words dripping off of his body in waves. Without thinking, she took a step towards him and rested her hand over his chest. "I want that too. More than anything."

"Then don't bloody do this," He said, closing the remaining space between them. He gently rested his hand and his hook on her waist, his eyes full of quiet desperation. _Don't leave me_ , he thought. _Not again._

"We have to do _something_ ," She said, exasperated, motioning to the swirling light behind them. Her shoulders slumping slightly as the sheer impossibility of the task pressed in on her.

"You're the most remarkable woman I've ever met," Killian said simply. He raised his hand, gently cupping her face. "You'll think of something. _We'll_ think of something, _together_."

Emma's eyes were glistening as they darted back and forth between his own. Killian held his breath as she considered her words. This was it. He'd said his piece, short of forcibly restraining her, _which wasn't necessarily out of the question,_ this was his last idea to hopefully knock some sense into his Swan's stubborn skull.

"Okay," Emma said simply, her voice soft. Killian felt the tension drain from his body. Never had he imagined one word could have such an effect on him. They were by no means safe, _the bloody portal whirled not 10 metres away from them for Gods' sake_. But whatever happened, he wouldn't lose her. He let out the breath he had been holding, a smile dancing across his features.

"Okay," He replied with a small nod. He reached for a lock of her blonde hair and tugged playfully on the strand, the infernal handcuffs still dangling from his wrist.

"I have to say," Emma said, mirroring his actions as she tugged gently on the cuffs with a small smile. "I knew you'd get out, but I'm a little impressed with how quickly you managed it." She reached into her pocket and brandished the key. With a practice ease she quickly removed his shackles, letting them drop unceremoniously to the sandy floor. She gently traced her fingers over the thin red mark that marred his wrist, feeling a little guilty.

"Pirate," He said simply, arching his brow. "Although," He shifted a bit under her gaze, scratching pointedly behind his ear with his newly liberated hand. His tongue resting behind his teeth. "I may owe the landlady a new bed. I'm suspect the damage is irreparable…"

"You just broke the headboard?" Emma asked, bewildered, her eyes wide and the faintest smile on her lips as she pictured Killian having _that_ conversation with Granny.

"Aye. It was only a matter of time really," Killian said with a smirk. "To be honest, I had always envisioned us engaged in a rather different sort of activity leading up to it," He said, his eyes twinkling as he popped the 't'.

Emma laughed heartily, the ridiculousness of the situation almost too much to bear. Captain Hook making innuendoes within sight of a deadly curse, almost certain to kill them all. She supposed it was comforting that somethings never changed. She grabbed Killian's arm for support and rested her head against his shoulder. Her body shaking as laughter continued to bubble from her lips. He wasted no time in wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his body. His hand tangled itself in her hair as he held her tightly. Her laughter music to his ears. The feel of her, _safe_ , in his arms indescribable. He closed his eyes and burrowed his face against her neck, needing to feel closer to her. The sheer relief coursing through his veins threatening to overwhelm him.

"I'm glad you did. Broke the bed I mean," Emma said sincerely, after she'd had a moment to catch her breath. She tightened her arms around him, pulling herself closer, as she nuzzled against him. Trying in vain to warm his icy, cursed heart. "That you got here in time…"

"I feared," He said, his voice low and his breath hot against her neck. "That I was too late. That you'd already…the whole way here I—"

"My bug wouldn't start," Emma said by way of explanation, suddenly very glad of it now. "So I had to walk."

"Well, I never thought the day would come," Killian said, pulling away slightly to meet her eye. His eyes were crinkled and a broad smile painted his face."But I must say, I love that infernal vessel of yours at this moment."

Emma smiled and moved her hands to hold his face, her thumb gently trailing over his lips. His stumble lightly tickling her palms. His smile faded slightly, as he studied her intently. As if she was worried she would disappear before his eyes. He covered her hand with his own and pulled her palm to his lips, kissing it lightly. He eyed her almost reverently. Her heart fluttered in her chest and she couldn't help but feel _cherished_. And in that moment, it occurred to Emma that he loved more than just her little yellow bug. She swallowed thickly, not really caring if she was right, just knowing that she'd waited long enough.

"I love you, Killian," Emma said, the words falling from her lips without hesitation. He moved, almost imperceptibly away from her, as if he couldn't believe her words. Emma's hands slipped to rest on his shoulders. His expressive eyes were impossibly wide as they searched her face. His Adam's apple bobbed once and then again before he finally spoke.

"You love me?" He asked, his voice quiet and steady. His tone was laced with awe, and surprise, and… something else Emma couldn't quite put her finger on.

Emma nodded furiously. "I love you. I love you so much it scares me, Killian," She hesitated for a moment, that irksome lump back in her throat. But this was it, she was all in and she would hold nothing back, not anymore. "But what scares me even more is the thought of losing you. So I'm done running, from you, from this, _from us._ I know I've said it before, but I mean it this time. No more running through portals, or leaving you at the top of beanstalks because I love you," Emma dropped her eyes as she fiddled nervously with the collar of his shirt. She knew she was rambling, but Killian's momentary speechlessness had thrown her for a loop. "And I don't expect you to say it back, I just needed you to know that—"

"Emma, are you bloody daft?" Killian scoffed, interrupting her. He tipped her chin back up to meet his eyes and the emotion reflected back at Emma nearly took her breath away. " _Of course I'll say it back_. I've nearly worn a hole in my tongue trying to _not bloody say it_." His hand pulled her closer to him and playfully bumped his nose against hers.

Emma moved to capture his lips with hers, pulling him by his shirt towards her, but he pulled away, ever so slightly, a small smile on his face. She quirked her head and eyed him. She didn't need him to say it, she knew. She'd known for a long time that he'd felt this way. But still, something inside of her yearned to hear those three words. And so the Lost Girl inside of her waited with baited breath.

"I love you, Emma Swan," He ghosted against her lips, the playfulness gone from his voice. "With all my heart."

"Good," Emma said simply, chasing his lips again. This time, he responded with a fervour, his arm wrapped tightly around her, the cool metal of his hook pressing into her side. His hand tangled in her hair. Emma felt him smile against her lips as they kissed each other. That was the only way to describe their kiss, _kissing each other_. Their pent up worry, and lust, _and love_ , pouring into each other, putting all of their other embraces to shame. Which was saying something, as passion had never been lacking between them, that was for sure.

Emma released her death grip on his shirt and gently trailed her hands along his neck until she cupped his face. She held him close as their heated breaths filled the air, their tongues duelling together. Their bodies a tangle of limbs, frantically pulling the other closer. She felt a vague warmth in her chest, the sheer depths of her emotions quickly overpowering her, threatening to overflow. It was if every one of her broken pieces were being put back together. Emma returned Killian's affections, her arms now tightly around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. As if she too, could return a part of him that had been lost. _God, she loved him. And he loved her_ , she thought as she clung to him. And in that moment that was the only thing that mattered.

A bright shockwave of light, similar in appearance to Emma's magic, quivered between them, its wake shimmering brightly as it pulsed away from them. Reluctantly, Emma broke the kiss, her lungs begging for oxygen. The sheer shock of the light surprising her into silence. She watched it shoot away from them, her mind strangely blank, her mouth agape.

"Was that…" Emma said breathlessly, her chest rising and falling erratically. "What that hell was that?" Her hand drifted back over Killian's heart. She felt her own skip a beat when, instead of the coolness she'd all to quickly become accustomed to, she felt warmth under her palm. Desperately, she pushed the _ridiculous_ plunging neckline of his over so she could inspect the area. She almost cried from relief when she saw his chest, completely bare, save for dusting of his dark hair. All traces of the Snow Queen's magic gone from his toned chest. She closed her eyes and clutched his skin roughly, weak from relief. _They were going to be okay_.

"Bloody hell, Swan," Killian said, his own hand trailing over her face. Without preamble, he pushed her shirt up, exposing her stomach. His hand and hook trailing lightly over her skin.

"Woah there tiger," Emma admonished, jumping from the cold air against her flesh. She chose to ignore the fact that she too had exposed his skin only moments ago. She squirmed sightly against the cool metal of his hook as he probed her pale skin. She rested her hands against his wrist and hook, trying to deter him. "What are you doing?" She amended quickly as she realized there was nothing overtly sensual in his touch. _Well, no more than normal_ , She thought as she tipped his chin back up to meet her eyes. _The damn pirate oozed sex._

"Your injuries, love," He said, a look of quiet wonder on his face. "They're gone. Are you still in pain?"

Emma took a deep breath and gently, then more forcefully poked her ribs. She twisted her shoulder tenderly and closed her eyes in relief. She swore she would never take for granted how good it felt to not be in pain. She shook her head no, quickly. Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"The portal," Emma said loudly, her sudden declaration making Killian jump. "It's gone!" She'd been so distracted by Hook that she hadn't even noticed the most noticeable landmark on the beach had vanished. The hat, lifeless and dark sitting on the sand.

"Aye," Killian said, tightening his hold around her waist. "Seems we've discovered quite the catchall, Swan. Not that I'm complaining."

"What do you mean?" Emma said, not grasping his meaning. "What the hell just happened, Killian?"

"Isn't it obvious, love?" He asked simply, his brow quirked. Emma shot him a blank stare, laced with only the smallest traces of annoyance. He smirked at her reaction and kissed her cheek roughly, his lips lingering. He felt Emma trying to fight the smile from creeping onto her face. Nonplused _,_ a grin rivalling her own dawned his face when she finally lost the battle. He was a patient man, who knew better than to rush his Swan. In spite of, _or perhaps particularly after_ , her most recent admission. And besides, they had all the time in the world.

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

The townsfolk had yet to fail to have an uproarious gathering after the defeat of a villain, and it seemed this time would be no exception. Emma and Killian sat squared away in what was quickly becoming their booth at Granny's. Up beat, though slightly dated, music played softly around them, interrupted by the frequent ring of loud laughter. In spite of the exuberant atmosphere, Emma felt absolutely drained. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep until spring. She leaned heavily against Killian, who, from the tired expression on his face, was in a similar state himself. Catching her eye, he smiled and slung his arm comfortably around her shoulder, drawing her even closer to him. Emma smiled and rested her hand on his knee, squeezing lightly. She eyed the clock along the wall, wondering exactly how much longer the Saviour was expected at one of these, _not the end of the world parties._

Sensing her thoughts from across the booth, Mary Margret smiled comfortingly at her daughter, as she took a fussy Neal from David. Mary Margret and David had arrived on the beach only minutes after Killian's dramatic arrival, full of questions about the sudden end of their impending doom. Their promptness no doubt due to Emma's suspicious text. As such, Emma was left feeling like her and Killian's emotional revelation was cut more than a little short. Something she desperately wanted to rectify. _Sooner, rather than later._

"So tell us," Regina said, coming to stand at the end of the table, her hand on her hip. A trace of curiosity in her tone. "What exactly happened out there?" At her question, the rambunctious conversations around them dropped to low murmurs, the town folk obviously interested in what they assumed was a heroic tale. Emma shifted slightly, her eyes seeking Killian's. He smiled encouragingly, but remained silent.

"It was Killian," Emma said with a smile, as she forced herself to look away from him and to address the whole group. "He broke the Snow Queen's hold over his heart and that severed the connection keeping the portal open. After that, everything just went back to normal." _Well, normal for Storybrooke_ , Emma thought.

Emma felt Killian tense beside her, before he slowly removed his arm from her shoulder. He ducked his head amidst the declarations of admiration and congratulations. He murmured something about needing a stiff drink and hastily excused himself from the table. Emma was left feeling strangely cool in the wake of his rapid departure.

"What was that about?" Mary Margret asked. The concern in her voice, thinly veiled. At her question, David shot her a knowing look and her eyes widened. Emma found the urge to scream at their soundless conversation. Taking a deep breath she answered calmly instead.

"He's still coming around to being a hero," Emma said with more confidence than she felt. She watched as he plunked himself down onto a barstool. A solitary figure at the bar. It was only when he took a slow drag from the flask at his hip that Emma started to feel truly concerned. Considering only for a moment if he wanted to be alone, _she didn't care if he did_ , Emma quickly excused herself and slid out from the booth.

"You okay?" Emma said quietly, bumping her shoulder against his. She tried to keep her tone light, but something about his manner made her stomach twist with fear. _Were there lingering effects of the Snow Queen's curse? Was he hiding it from her?_

"I'll not expose you in front of your loved ones, Swan," He said quietly, his tone clipped and more than a little hurt visible in his eyes. "But you and I both know that's not what happened."

"Killian," Emma started, her head snapped back, her eyes wide. "I don't know what you're—"

"It's of no consequence, love, truly. " He said quickly, with a long drawn out sigh. He rubbed his eyes with his hand. "Forgive me, I'm just in desperate need of a good night's rest. Forget I ever said anything, please."

"Okay, we can go," Emma said, a twinge of concern still twisting in her stomach. She worried her lip between her teeth as she contemplated him. _He was't kidding, he looked dead on his feet._ She tore her eyes away from him and scanned the small crowd. "Let me just find Henry and—"

"There's no need to leave on my account, love," Killian said quickly with a flourish of his hand. He rose from the barstool with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Enjoy the victory with your family."

He placed a quick, perfunctory kiss on her cheek and strode towards the door, without so much as a second glance. Confused, Emma flopped onto the newly vacated stool, her back to the bar. She sighed heavily and rested her elbows on the counter behind her as she watched his retreating back. The space seemed dimmer without his presence. She strummed her fingers along the oversize tankard of ale which had been pressed into her hands at some point. Her mind racing, as she considered Killian's uncharacteristic outburst.

"Where's he off to?" David asked, sliding onto the stool beside Emma, breaking her reflection. He mirrored his daughter's position, with his back resting against the countertop. A quick glance at the clock indicated that she could likely leave the party without raising any eyebrows, but she didn't move from her seat. She found she was nowhere near as keen to leave without Killian by her side.

"Home," Emma said simply, schooling her features to keep the frustration off her face. She crossed her legs at the ankle and surveyed the group that remained. The freely flowing alcohol adding to the general frivolity of a freshly defeated villain. This party was on track to be one of the best, _well most lively,_ yet.

"Alone?" David asked, bemused. Emma shot David her best, _I don't want to talk about it, and if you knew what was good for you, you wouldn't want to either_ look. After the week, _God, had it only been a week_ , she'd just experienced she was not up for a lecture from her fairy tale father, however well meaning.

"I don't blame you if you don't want the whole town to know your business, but Emma," David said with a a knowing glance. Her look of menace obviously not deterring him in the slightest. " _Think about who you're talking to_. You don't have to hide anything from me, or your mother. We just want you to be happy, and we would have to be idiots to not see that Hook makes you happy."

"I'm not hiding _anything_ ," Emma said, rolling her eyes. To say she felt exasperated that everyone seemed to be in the know besides her, would be an understatement. "How else would you describe what happened—"

"Well, there's the obvious explanation that comes to mind," David interrupted quietly. When he was met with nothing but a blank stare from Emma, he leaned against the counter and continued. "True Love's kiss?"

_True Love's Freakin' Kiss._

"Wha—, that doesn't, I mean—" Emma leaned forward and through sheer force of will stopped stammering. Her eyes wide, she attempted to gather her thoughts, her mouth suddenly unbearably dry. "Even if that's a possibility, and I'm not saying it is, there's no way to be sure it was," Emma hesitated, her mouth seemingly incapable of saying the words _True Love's kiss_ aloud. "There's no way to be sure it wasn't just Killian breaking the Snow Queen's spell. Like I said before."

"For one, that explanation doesn't explain your miraculous recovery," David prompted gently. "I saw you when you came back through the portal Emma, you were a mess and now…" He gestured to her, not a bruise or blemish covering her skin.

Emma, feeling like the breath had been knocked out of her, stared at her father speechlessly. She clutched the glass she was holding tightly, her mind spiralling. David did have a point about her unexplained recuperation. _But._ True Love was something out of fairy tales. Something that happened to princesses and princes. Not to regular people. Not to her. Emma swallowed thickly. Mechanically, she took a drink, just to have something to do. She grimaced as she realized the beer in her glass had turned an unappetizing lukewarm temperate. _Although,_ she mused. _If Killian believed they shared_ **the kiss** _and she'd completely disregarded it, it would certainly explain his sudden departure. Explain the hurt he'd tried to hide._ With the pass of each agonizingly slow second, she came to realize one thing with an absolute clarity.

_Killian Jones, Captain bloody freaking Hook, was her true love._

The realization left her feeling strangely lightheaded. Emma took a deep breath and waited for the claustrophobic weight of the _TL bomb_ to crash into her. For the finality of it all, _of Killian being it,_ to make her panic. _For the fear to kick in_. But it didn't. She had meant every word she'd spoken on the beach. She loved him. _So much_. And if what she felt for him was True Love, than that was that.

"I gotta go," Emma said, setting her glass down on the bar behind her hastily. "Can you or Regina take Henry? I need—"

"Don't need the details," David said quickly, holding his hands up in mock surrender. Emma rolled her eyes and tried to fight the smile creeping onto her face. He pulled her into a tight hug, placing a sweet, fatherly kiss on the top of her head. "Don't worry about Henry, we'll take care of him. Just go get your man."

* * *

Emma arrived at Killian's cottage in record time. She hesitated at the front door for a only moment, the feeling of déjà vu hitting her squarely in the chest. Emma smiled to herself when she considered just how far they'd come, _how far she'd come_ , since then. Gingerly she tried the handle, feeling slightly deflated when she found it locked. She eyed the offending lock and considered attempting to pick it, but the heavy brass deadbolt gave her pause. _It was all about the tumblers after all_. She didn't want to wake him, but the thought of spending the night alone was more than a little unappealing, _especially if Killian spent it thinking she was pulling away from him,_ so she rapped on the door.

She waited for a moment, the stillness of the night enveloping her before she impatiently knocked again. When she was met with nothing but silence, a small prickling of worry began to work its way into Emma's mind. Determined to at least make sure her pirate was at the very least all right, Emma trudged through the snow towards the back of the cottage, cursing as she slipped and slid along the side of the house. Perhaps Killian had forgotten to lock the patio door. Worst case scenario she was certain she could pick that lock. _Hopefully._

Emma climbed onto the deck, her footprints from earlier in the day still visible. Swallowing thickly, she pressed her face against one of the large windows. The room was dark, although enough moonlight trickled in from the cloudless sky for Emma to make out Killian's sleeping form. She let out a sigh of relief as she took him in, her breath fogging the glass slightly. He looked as though he had just fallen onto the bed and immediately passed out. The blankets pulled haphazardly up to his chin, his arm strewn across his face. Even in sleep, he looked exhausted. Gently, Emma tested the balcony door. She smiled as it opened easily, and she slipped quietly through the door. His cottage sounded as still as it had looked from the balcony. The only sound in the room, was Killian's breathing, shallow and steady in sleep.

Killian stirred as she came into the room, his arm flopping from its position to rest on the pillow, but he did not wake. His brows furrowed as if he was deep in thought. Emma's heart constricted slightly, knowing centuries of piracy had left him a notoriously light sleeper. He must be absolutely beat to sleep through the sounds she made, however faint. She slowly unzipped her jacket and gently rested it on the floor, the room still as sparse in furniture as it had been the last time she had been here. Emma took a step to remove one of her boots and winced as the floorboard creaked beneath her.

"Swan," Killian said, his voice thick with sleep and confusion. "What's happened? What's wrong?" He moved to sit up, the blanket that had been covering him, pooling at his waist, leaving his toned, deliciously bare, chest on full display for Emma. While just woken from sleep, he looked tense, his entire body was taunt with stress, anticipating the yet unknown danger.

"Absolutely nothing," Emma said, with a small smile as she took in his mussed hair and his heavily lidded eyes. _Things haven't been so good in a long time._ She pulled her sweater over her head, and his eyes darkened as he took in the thin camisole covering her pale skin. Her boots and jeans quickly followed her other discarded clothing on the floor. Killian licked his lips, the stress slowly easing from his body as he took in her state of undress.

"Go back to sleep," She whispered as she climbed into bed beside him, placing soft kisses along his chest, gently easing him back onto the bed. The sheets were warm, and although she normally wasn't a fan of cuddling, she would make an exception this one time. _Or maybe just for him in general_ , she thought as a sigh of contentment fell from his lips. Her leg brushed against his hip as she curled around him and she realized with a delightful shiver that Killian was completely naked. _Why was she not surprised that he slept in the buff?_

"But I'm not tired anymore," He said huskily, his fingertips slowly trailing down her spine. Emma bit back a moan as he reached the patch of bare skin between her top and the waistband of her panties. His hand slipped beneath the flimsy fabric of her top and began its torturously slow ascension back up her stomach. His touch set her skin ablaze, a current of desire shooting through her veins.

"Yes, you are," Emma chided, with a soft poke to his ribs, summoning every ounce of self-control she possessed. "You've had half an hour of sleep, _tops._ " He opened his mouth to protest, but instead a small yawn escaped. He smiled sheepishly, an apology on his lips, but Emma him kissed him slowly before he could say anything.

"Go to sleep," Emma said again, closing her eyes and settling back against his chest. Smirking as she heard the elevated beating of his heart. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"I like the sound of that," He said softy, his arms pulling her more snuggly against him. Emma sighed as she settled into his embrace. "I love you," He whispered as he tenderly smoothed her hair and placed a lingering kiss to her temple. Another sweet sigh of contentment escaping him as he held her in his arms. Emma smiled without opening her eyes.

"I love you, too," Emma said, with a soft kiss to his chest. She hesitated for only a moment before murmuring against his skin, pointedly, " _Truly._ "

At her words, he froze in her arms, breathing and all. His hand stilled in her hair, mid-stroke. For a heart stopping second, Emma wondered if she'd misspoken. A momentary panic overwhelming her, she pressed her forehead tightly against his chest, hoping the moment would just pass. Finally, Killian propped himself up on his elbow, his body looming over hers. Almost cautiously, he tipped her head up to meet his eyes, which were no longer heavy with sleep, but bright and curious.

"Yet, here you are," He whispered, his eyes darting carefully between hers. He tenderly brushed his thumb against her lips, as he contemplated her seriously, almost as if he feared she was a dream. _Maybe that's exactly what he was considering_ , Emma thought with a sinking heart.

"Well, where else would I be?" Emma said with a smile. Gently she nipped the end of his thumb, hoping to solidify her presence in his mind.

"No, I mean," He smiled broadly, clearly amused by her playfulness. His hand slid to rest on her shoulder, his thumb lightly strumming against her collarbone. "You didn't run, love."

"Nope," She said sincerely. "There's nowhere I'd rather be." He closed his eyes in response to her words, a sigh of almost incomprehensible relief escaping him before her pulled her tightly back against him once more. Placing soft kisses along every inch of her he came in contact with.

"I'm not sure what I feared more," He finally whispered, his breath hot against her skin. "That you knew and choose to ignore it. Or that you had no idea and," He hesitated, "And when you discovered would run away from me all over again."

Emma shook her head against his shoulder, a small pang of guilt running through her as she considered all the times she acted exactly as he'd described. How she couldn't blame him for thinking she would panic and run. Emma closed her eyes tightly, considering her next words carefully.

"I would have of course, pursued you doggedly," Killian added, jovially. No doubt sensing her tension and trying to lighten the mood. _How did he always do that?_ "And though I am certain you would have come around, in time, it wouldn't have an experience I would have relished. Especially when we could be doing this," He whispered as his hand resumed its torturously slow exploration of her exposed skin.

Emma chuckled in spite of herself. She eased herself out of his embrace just enough to meet his eye. Realizing she wanted to say something, Killian stilled his hand along her hip and smiled encouragingly. Emma swallowed thickly. She wasn't great at expressing herself, _not about things like this anyways,_ but she desperate for him to know how she felt. That she really, _truly_ , wasn't going anywhere.

"Killian, I'm not from your world—" She began to explain.

"You most certainly are," Killian interrupted, a twinkle in his eye as he caught her on the technicality.

"I didn't _grow up_ in the Enchanted Forest," Emma corrected with a slightly exasperated eye roll. He smirked, before placing a small kiss along the column of her throat. "So you either have to keep me up to speed with all this fairy tale stuff, or be patient while I try put the pieces together myself."

"Understood," Killian said dutifully. "Though, in fairness, it didn't take you terribly long, as you say, to put the pieces together."

"I had some help," Emma mumbled, a slight blush on her cheeks.

"The incorrigible romantic, Snow White I presume," Killian mused smugly.

"Worse," Emma said. "David. He all but drove me here himself."

"It seems I owe my mate, Dave, a pint." Killian chuckled. His features softened as he eyed her, reverently, before he continued in a more serious tone. "You do know Emma, if you had, _concerns,_ about this, _about anything,_ you could tell me."

"I'll keep that in mind," Emma said seriously, though she was smiling widely. "Should any arise that is." She dropped her eyes to her hands, in the process of gently tracing light patterns against his chest. "And you're okay with everything?" She asked quietly. "I mean, you didn't seem particularly surprised, but—"

"Aye, I'm brilliant, love," He said with a wide grin. "As to my lack of surprise, I'll confess it's a topic that I've long contemplated," Prompted by Emma's slightly confused expression, he continued. "You forget love, I attempted True Love's kiss almost two years ago, albeit unsuccessfully," He said, the sheepish expression back with a vengeance. "To help you regain your memories. In New York." Emma stared at him dumbfounded. _She had forgotten_.

"You've known," Emma said quietly, when she finally found her voice. "All this time, you've known."

"Well," Killian said with a small smile. "I'd hoped. As a man so madly in love is ought to do."

Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, he closed the space between them, his lips caressing hers. Tenderly. Passionately. His hand tangled in her hair. He kissed her breathlessly, his body pinning her tightly to the mattress. Surprise stunning her for only a moment before Emma responded in kind. A low moan escaping her before she ran her hands along his back, pulling him more tightly against her. A mutual understanding that the time for talk clearly over.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated M ;)

 

Killian Jones was in a word,  _happy._ After centuries of loneliness and loss he'd begun to seriously doubt he would ever find his happy ending. Yet, here he was, his One True Love asleep in his arms, his body absolutely thrumming with satisfaction, an impossibly wide smile painted across his face. The memory of her words, etched permanently in his mind.

_She loved him. Truly._

To say he was exhausted would be an understatement, yet he stubbornly fought against the enticing pull of slumber, electing instead to quietly revel in the moment. To recall the feel of her body, slick with sweat, held tightly against him. Her hands roaming his body, drawing him closer, her nails biting his flesh, branding him. The desperate brush and pull of her lips against his. The sound of her breathless moans, of his name on her lips, as she found her release. Her eyes seeking his in the moonlight, the passion and love reflected back at him so immense it took his breath away. Unconsciously, his fingertips trailed a slow path along her spine. He had no intention of waking her, but he was unable to stop himself from touching her, holding her.

Abruptly, Emma flinched and gasped as if his touch had burnt her. The jarring movement jolting him from his reflection. Killian stopped his ministrations immediately, his brows tightly knit as she pulled away from him. Concerned, he reached for her, his hand resting tentatively on her shoulder. Her skin wet with a dampness that most certainly hadn't been present only a moment ago. Again, Emma jerked roughly away from his hand. Her breathing laboured and wheezy.

"I thought you loved me," She croaked. Though her voice was thin and shaky, it cut through Killian like a knife all the same. "How could yo—" A violent cough racked her body, causing her to double over, stealing whatever words she intended to say.

"Emma," Killian said, his chest tight, his pulse pounding in his ears. "Love, it's me. It's Killian." He positively itched to take her into his arms, but he heeded her request and remained at an arm's length. Blindly, not taking his eyes of her, he reached for the light with his blunted arm. Cursing himself, his bloody handless hand, and his inability to form rational thoughts, until he finally found the switch.

_He almost wished he hadn't._

The room spun around him as he stared at Emma, dumbfounded. His mind simultaneously blank and racing. His breath caught in his chest. _Gods, the blood._ There was so much blood. His heart plummeted as he realized that Emma seemed to be the source. Cuts fresh and old tattooed her naked frame. The sheets were positively drenched. His vision swimming, he lunged towards her, realizing he had to put pressure on the wounds. _Bloody hell there was so much blood._

Before he could reach her, Emma twisted away, tears streaming down her face. Her movements languid with fatigue as she hunched into a ball at the foot of the bed. Her knees tight against her chest. Her eyes, through not meeting his own, were wide with fear. Killian followed her gaze, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He realized she was staring at a shallow dagger. It's point sharp and wet with blood. _With Emma's blood._ A shallow dagger held so tightly in his hand that his knuckles had turned white.

Killian woke with a start, his heart racing, his breath coming in choking gasps. Disorientated, he blinked against the darkness, fighting to regain his bearings. Aside from his breathing, the room was deathly quiet. Emma was sleeping soundly, _safely_ , beside him. The moonlight streaming in from the window, dancing across her face. Her brow slightly creased in response, no doubt, to his tossing and turning. Her body was as it had been when he'd fallen asleep, unmarred. His blunted arm wrapped around her torso. Still panting slightly, he ran his hand over his face. Cringing when he found his brow slick with sweat. It had been nothing but a dream.

_A bloody nightmare more like._

Gingerly, he pulled his arm out from under her, trying desperately not to disrupt her sleep more than he already had. Incoherent murmurs escaped Emma's lips, but she did not wake. Killian smoothed her hair from her face, his heart positively aching at the sight of her. He wanted nothing more than to pull her body tightly back against his, but he feared she would feel his racing heart through his skin and wake. Instead, he pulled the blankets up over her shoulders, to compensate for the loss of his body heat, before he crept to the washroom.

Despite the infernal shaking in his limbs, he managed to shut the bathroom door quietly before he turned on the light. The tile cool against the soles of his bare feet. He grimaced as he surveyed himself in the mirror. The harsh light illuminating the pallor of his skin. A clammy sweat coating his weary body. Dark circles highlighting his bloodshot eyes. _A dashing rapscallion indeed_ , he thought, disgusted. He leaned heavily against the vanity, his hand gripping the counter tightly. The image of Emma, bloody and battered burning the back of his eyelids. The stillness of the bathroom offering him no distraction. Roughly, he turned the facet on, giving the water only the briefest of moments to cool before he splashed it on his face. Trying in vain to chase not only the dream, _but the memory_ , from his mind.

"You okay?" Emma asked quietly. Her voice, though faint and thick with sleep, gave him a start. He hadn't even heard the door open. He surveyed her in the mirror, water beading off his face, clinging to his beard. She leaned against the doorway, her arms crossed, wearing nothing but one of his faded button downs, her hair adorably tousled. He cursed himself inwardly. _He had woken her after all._

"It's nothing, love," He said deftly shutting off the tap. He cleared his throat and continued, his usual swagger feeling more than a little wrong for the situation, but old habits die hard. "Just a dream. Forgive me for waking you." His voice sounded strangled and foreign to his ears.

Emma frowned slightly and crossed the space between them. Her bare feet quiet on the cool floor. She tenderly rested her forehead on his shoulder. Her hand comfortingly running along his back. He closed his eyes at her touch. Under normal circumstances he would be absolutely elated at the easy act of intimacy. But now, it was all he could do to keep the dream at bay. To keep his emotions in check.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked. She placed a small chaste kiss on his shoulder. Her other hand running lightly up and down his arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. As the adrenaline left his system, his naked body began to feel the cold of the night.

"I—" He hesitated, taking a shaky breath. Images from his dream swimming before his eyes, so vividly dancing before him he could barely catch his breath. How could he explain the paralyzing grief running through his veins? The overwhelming horror. _All because of a sodding dream?_ "Really, love," He choked, the lie tasting vile on his tongue. "There's nothing to tell. I'm sorry I woke you."

"Okay," Emma said softly after a moment, a trace of hurt in her voice. She squeezed his bicep gently and placed another lingering kiss to his shoulder.

She pulled away and an acute sense of loss washed over Killian. He closed his eyes tightly. He wanted, _needed_ , her to hold him. To feel the heat of her body against his. To tell him everything would be okay. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but his mouth refused to heed his request. He shook his head ruefully, the idea that the fearsome Captain Hook needed comforting after a scary dream, ludicrous. _How could she not see what he needed?_ He thought bitterly. Momentarily overcome with frustration, at the fact he had to ask. _Were their situations reversed, he would know what she needed, surely._ He clenched his jaw tightly, his shoulders slumping. His anger ebbing as quickly as it had come, knowing he had no one to blame but himself. _And his pride._

Behind him, with a dull squeak and then a roar, the shower came to life, cutting through the silence of the small room. Killian's eyes shot open at the sound of the echo of the water against the tiles and Emma met his eyes in the mirror. A small smile on her face as her fingers slowly began unbuttoning her shirt.

"Swan," Killian said slowly. He tore his eyes from her reflection and turned to face her. "What are you doing?" In spite of himself, he swallowed thickly as her sure fingers worked their way down her, _his_ , shirt. Baring more and more of her creamy, _uninjured,_ skin to his gaze. Her own eyes carefully watching his reaction.

"You can't come back to bed like that, all cold and clammy," Emma said with a shrug. Her eyes dropped to his lips, before she pulled them back up to meet his bewildered gaze. "Besides," She said, a mischievous smile on her face, her eyes twinkling as she neared the end of the buttons. "I'm not tired anymore," She turned her back to him before dropping the shirt onto the floor. Her trim body retreating into the shower before he had a chance to form a thought, let alone an innuendo.

He approached the shower door cautiously, the small space already beginning to grow steamy. A small smile forming as he considered that perhaps she knew what he needed from her after all.

"Emma, love, you don't have to—" He began, before Emma pulled him by the wrist into the shower without further preamble. With one hand on his waist to steady him on the slippery tile, she smiled before she caught his lips with hers, effectively silencing him. The warm water rained down on them, and he couldn't help but groan as the swell of her breasts brushed against his chest. His own arm circling her waist to draw her closer.

"Relax," She said, ignoring his feeble protests as she angled him carefully under the spray of the shower. "Just let me take care of you," She said, as she pulled the shower door closed.

He started to say something, but his words quickly became a garbled groan of pleasure as her hands began to massage his shoulders. Slowly easing the tension from his muscles, her touch soapy with a newly discovered body wash. As the knots in his shoulders lessened, Emma's let her hands trail further down his back, kneading the stress from his body. Once she was content with the state of his back, she rested her forehead against his shoulder, pulling herself more tightly against him. Her arms reached around his torso, her hands caressing the muscles of his taunt abdomen. She gently raked her nails along his ribs and smiled when she felt his low groan vibrate deep within his chest.

"You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to," Emma said, her voice small as she placed a small kiss between his shoulder blades. "But you know you can, right?" When he didn't reply immediately, Emma soundlessly continued her gentle exploration of his chest, pulling lightly on his chest hair as she went. Killian stilled her hand with his own, lacing their fingers together. Their hands knotted over his heart, steadily beating beneath their palms.

"I dreamt I was hurting you," Killian said softly, his voice so faint, Emma strained to hear it over the roar of the shower. She swallowed thickly at his words, laced with so much sadness she thought her heart might simply break. "It felt like I was back, with her, when she…"

"The Snow Queen?" Emma prompted quietly against his shoulder when his words seemed to fail him. Her voice surprisingly collected despite the almost overwhelming rage bubbling in her chest. Towards Ingrid, towards Gold. Towards anyone who'd had a hand in putting this pain in her pirate's heart.

"Aye," He said simply. His thumb gently strumming along the back of her hand. His voice rough and sounding as if he were a million miles away. Emma squeezed his hand tightly. Her mind whirling as she sought the right thing to say. _He would know what to say to her_. She knew his life had not been easy. That it had been extraordinarily long and full of pain. She'd fully expected to comfort him about Liam, _hell maybe even about Milah_ , but not this.

"Hey," Emma said, turning him to face her. He complied reluctantly, his eyes downcast. She ran her fingers through his hair, diverting the stream of water falling on his face. Her other hand still firmly clasped in his. "Killian, look at me," She said, resting her hand against his cheek, gently nudging him to meet her eye. "Please."

At her insistence, his eyes finally snapped up to meet her own. A long, drawn out sigh escaping his lips. Emma's heart contracted tightly in her chest as she quickly saw the grief in his words was nothing compared to pain brimming behind his piecing blue eyes.

"I know you'd never hurt me," She said, her eyes darting carefully between his. Hoping desperately he would see the sincerity behind her words. "And I'm here, Killian. Here for whatever you need."

"I just need you, Swan," He said, his voice finally breaking. "You're all I've ever needed."

"Well, you've got me," Emma said with a small smile. She pulled his hand towards her, placing a soft, lingering kiss on the inside of his wrist, her eyes firmly locked with his. "I'm all yours," She whispered against his skin as she continued to reign kisses along the underside of his arm, along his bicep, his collar. He groaned loudly when she reached his neck, sucking a small mark against his pulse. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him roughly. Desperately, he tangled his hand in her hair, pulling her into a bruising kiss. His mouth capturing her breathless moans as she felt him stirring against her thigh.

Like a man possessed, he spun her, pressing her body tightly between the wall of the shower and his own. The cool tile against her back sending a shiver through her. The sheer speed of his movements, the lack of oxygen from their kiss, and his talented mouth leaving Emma feeling more than a little lightheaded. He parted her legs with his knee, his hand trailing along her body. Emma's groan of protest when he broke their kiss quickly turned into a low moan when his hot mouth trailed down her heated flesh. Branding her skin as he went. He paid particular attention to her breasts, his tongue and his teeth reducing her to a boneless wreck in almost an embarrassingly short amount of time.

Emma's knees nearly buckled when he finally cupped her sex. His sure fingers toying with her folds. Emma felt Killian smirk against her skin and he tightened his arm around her waist at her reaction. _Smug bastard,_ she thought. But then he slowly began pumping a finger in her tight channel and the ability, _hell the desire_ , to criticize anything about him vanished immediately. His lips skimming her breasts, the gentle cascade of the water, the encompassing weight of his body. It was almost too much. _Almost._

"Fuck, Killian," Emma moaned, her hips bucking into his hand. She would have been embarrassed with how breathy her voice sounded had she not been absolutely dizzy with pleasure. "This is supposed to be about _you_."

"But I like _this._ _This_ makes me feel good," He whispered against her skin as he lazily placed kisses back up her chest, her collar, her neck, her jaw, until his lips brushed against the shell of her ear. " _You_ make me feel good, love."

Emma clung to his arms, her words completely failing her. His sure fingers and quick tongue robbing her of any sort of coherent thought. Her nails biting into his skin. She vaguely worried that she would leave his biceps marred, but not as much as she feared she would collapse into a puddle on the shower floor if she released her hold on him.

"Gods, Emma," He said with a soft bite to her shoulder. His tongue darting out to sooth her skin. His pupils blown wide with desire, raking over her writhing body. "I love you like this. All flushed and panting beneath me."

He dipped his head back to her breasts, humming against her skin before he lightly pulled her pert nipple back into his mouth. Emma positively purred when he added a second finger, his pace increasing as he felt her nearing her release. His nimble fingers bringing her closer and closer to the edge. His thumb ghosting over her bundle of nerves. He curled his fingers inside her, and without warning Emma was gone. Her vision clouded with stars, her screams echoing in the small space. Killian's gentle caresses, soft kisses against her heated skin, helping her ride though it.

As her heart finally began to approach a normal pace, he ran his tongue along the column of her throat, her sweat mixing with the cascade of the water. "I love the way you taste," He hummed against her skin. Pulling back to meet her eye, he brought his fingers to his lips, the intensity behind his eyes burning her. Slowly, he sucked his fingers dry, tasting her essence. "Like bloody heaven," He groaned, a sinful grin on his face. Still feeling relatively speechless, Emma pulled his lips to hers, determined to bring him the same pleasure he'd already given her.

She bit his lip, roughly, drawing a growl from him, before she pulled his bottom lip into her mouth, sucking gently. _God, he always tasted so good._ She wrapped her hand around him, hot and heavy against her stomach. She fought back a moan as he thrust against her hand. His need more than a little evident as he moved to align himself with her throbbing centre. Sensing his intent, Emma pushed him away, shaking her head slightly, a smirk on her lips.

Slowly, Emma peppered kisses down his chest, nipping lightly at his skin. Following the delightful trail of hair down his body. Her hand gently stroking him. Relishing the feel of him, so achingly hard and velvety smooth between her fingers. As she came closer to her prize, her fingertips skimming over the hard muscles of his abdomen, she lowered herself to her knees, batting her eyelashes playfully at Killian. Realizing what she was doing, He caught her elbow, halting her movements.

"Swan, there's no need," He began, attempting to ease her back onto her feet. Unconsciously, he moistened his lips as he looked down at her. Despite his words, the sight of Emma on her knees before him had him harder than he could remember being in recent memory. _Bloody hell, she hadn't even done anything yet._

"But I want to," Emma whined, placing a small bite along the inside of his thigh. Her hand never stopping its torturously slow assault on his manhood. The feel of her fingers wrapped around him, exquisite.

"Emma," He panted, biting his lip roughly. His hand balled into a tight fist at his side as he fought to maintain control.

"I love you like this," She said, with a saucy smirk, before blowing a puff of hot hair along his length. His closed his eyes at the sensation, before he quickly forced them open again. _He didn't want to miss a moment of this._ "The formidable Captain Hook, all hot and bothered." He moaned and Emma's smirk grew as she saw the effect her words had on him. She gently trailed her nails along his thigh, the muscles taunt beneath her touch. "Absolutely _wrecked_ , all because of me," She whispered, before she finally took him into her mouth.

That sensation alone was almost enough to break him. _Then she started to move._ She deliberately bobbed along his length. Her fingers softly caressing his thigh, his hip. Her cheeks hollowed as her hot mouth and tongue wickedly tortured him. A string of unintelligible curses fell from Killian's mouth, his nails digging painfully into his palm. Without altering her pace, Emma reached for his hand, bringing it to her head. Needing no further prompting, Killian wrapped his hand in her wet hair. Pulling lightly when he felt the back of her throat, the sight of Emma's nose gently pressed against his curls almost too much.

She released him with a pop, a wide smile on her face. Her eyes lidded as she looked up at him. _Gods help him, what had he done to deserve this._ She licked her lips and moved to capture him again, but he pulled her roughly to her feet. His cock absolutely throbbing. The desire to have her, _to be_ _in her_ , overwhelming.

"Emma, please," He groaned, desperation dripping from his voice as he placed sloppy kisses along her jaw. His hand cupping her ass tightly. "I need you."

Emma nodded quickly, her own breathing almost as laboured as his. She angled him towards her entrance and he thrust into her in one smooth motion. His hand tight against her hip. A long drawn out moan of relief falling from both their lips at the feeling, their breaths mingling. Slowly, he began to thrust against her, pulling out almost completely before returning to her silky heat. Emma pulled his lips to hers, her tongue swirling with his in time with his thrusts.

Emma's breast dragged against his course chest hair. Warm water streaming over them both. The small space almost oppressively hot and cloudy with steam. Killian, feeling his own release building much more quickly than he would have liked, dropped his hand between them, eager to for Emma to fall first. _Good form and all that._ But she caught his wrist, stopping him.

"No," She panted, shaking her head against his shoulder. "Just like this. I'm so close. Just like this." He nodded in response, his mind too hazy with passion to form a retort. He cried out in relief when, mere moments later, he felt her walls clench tightly around him. His name tumbling from her lips as her hands pulled him closer to her. They came together, the gentle rocking of their hips unleashing a tidal wave of pleasure as they clung to each other. Their lips, and teeth, and hands greedily pulling at the other as their release washed over them.

Slowly, as feeling returned to her limbs, Emma realized that the water had transitioned from toasty to lukewarm. With a small sigh, she extracted herself from his embrace, placing soft kisses along his chest as she went, and turned the tap off, lest the spray suddenly turn icy. _She'd had enough of the cold, thank-you very much._ She smiled as Killian wrapped his arms tightly around her, his nose nuzzling against her wet hair.

"Thank-you," He whispered against her, his scruff tickling her damp skin. His hand splayed out along her belly, drawing her closer to him.

"The feeling's mutual," Emma retorted, leaving heavily against his chest. She gently caressed the angry red indents on his arm from where she'd clutched him too tightly, a slight pang of guilt running through her.

"Well, for that too," Killian said. He placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck. The feeling of his smile against her skin drawing a sigh from Emma. "But I was thanking you for knowing exactly what I needed."

"What can I say?" She sassed with a smile as she stepped out of the shower. The small bathroom decidedly steamy. "We make quite the team, you and I."

"Aye," Killian said, with a chuckle. "That we do." He followed her and reached for a thick towel hidden behind the bathroom door. Ever the consummate gentleman, he passed it to her, the ghost of a smile on his lips, as his eyes raked slowly over her body. Water dripping from his own body onto the tile.

"How can you only have _one_ towel?" Emma admonished, as she quickly dried off her damp body, goosebumps beginning to appear on her skin. She swallowed thickly, considering if there was something wrong with the heat in his bathroom. Because it was simply not possible that her skin could feel this heated from his gaze alone.

"I've had no need for more," Killian said, rubbing the back of his neck roughly. "But I assure you, Swan, it's clean."

"Well, we're obviously going to pick up some more when Henry and I move in," Emma said, roughly towelling her hair. Pointedly staring at something invisible in the distance. "Nice big, fluffy ones—"

" _When_ you move in, love?" Killian interrupted. He took an involuntary step towards her, heat dripping off of his body in waves. Her words affecting him in a way he hadn't even known was possible.

"If you'll still have me that is?" Emma said, a hint of nervousness in her voice. She cautiously held the towel towards him, motioning for him to take his turn. Her eyes searching his carefully. It had to be her imagination, but they seemed to be painted a shade darker than normal.

He met her stare soundlessly, a look of absolute bewilderment on his face. Then suddenly, she was in his arms, pressed tightly against his chest. The sheer force and surprise of his pounce knocking her back a step. His lips caressing hers with somehow both a tenderness and unbridled passion. His hand seemingly everywhere at once as he pulled her closer. Emma arched into his embrace, retuning his affections in kind. Her arms tightly around his neck, as he lifted her off the floor, spinning her playfully in his arms.

"Aye," He murmured against her lips breathlessly after he finally released her, setting her back on the ground. Though he kept their bodies tightly intertwined. "Always, Swan. I'll have you six ways to Sunday. In fact," Killian said, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "I think I'll _have you_ right now."

Emma squealed, _literally squealed_ , as he tossed her over his shoulder, _he'd carried rum barrels heavier than her after all._ The lone towel forgotten on the floor, his body still dripping from the shower. His hand gently caressing her thigh, as he placed a soft kiss to her hip. He crossed the distance to his, _their_ , bed quickly, ignoring her halfhearted protest over the mode of transportation. He deposited her reverently on the bed, wasting no time in covering her body with his own. Murmurs about _insatiability_ and _needing to get bloody used to it_ , fell from their lips before they both became too breathless to form thoughts, let alone words.

Much later, after they finally drifted off to sleep in a, _throughly sated,_ tangle of limbs, Killian dreamt of Emma once again. Only this time, it was anything but a nightmare.

 


	18. Epilogue

 

Moving day was a hassle. Not that Emma and Henry had a inordinate amount of possessions, _quite the opposite really_ , perhaps the one and only upside of never staying in one place for long. No, the hassle came from the fact that nearly everyone in the small town had insisted on giving the new couple house warming presents. And not just scented candles or manageable trinkets, but dishes and paintings and furniture. All very lovely. _All extremely heavy._

As much of a hassle as moving was, Emma found herself genuinely touched at not only the outpouring of generosity from the town folk. Of their acceptance of her pirate. And though he'd never admit it, Killian felt doubly so. The gifts, _with a few puzzling exceptions_ , were all surprisingly to their taste and looked right at home in the cottage.

"It really is a great house," David said appraisingly, dusting his hands as he took in the airy space. Huffing only slightly from manoeuvring a large, _lovely, but seriously massive,_ mirror onto the mantle of the fireplace. Emma eyed his handiwork, an only _slightly ironic_ gift from Regina of all people, and considered if it was worth telling David it was crooked. _Or that she could have put it up much more easily with her magic._

"Oh no, there's a scratch," Mary Margret called from the kitchen, a frown on her face as she ran her finger along the pale marble counter. Her words sent Emma's mind traitorously back to _that night_ and the events that had caused said scratch. Hurriedly, she turned her back to her parents as she felt her whole body blush. Wasting no time, she busied herself with a box resting on the table, a house warming gift from Marco. She swallowed thickly and when she smelt the musk of soft leather in her nose and felt a gentle hand on her hip. _There goes any chance of a cool and collected response,_ she thought.

"Did you hear that, Swan?" Killian said, his voice low in her ear. His body so completely invading her personal space. Not that she minded normally. _You know, when her parents were not three feet away, ogling the damage from their sexcapades._ "The counter is _positively_ _wrecked_ , darling." The way he said _wrecked_ was _positively obscene_ , colouring Emma an even more vibrant shade of crimson. She swatted at his hand as discreetly as she could.

"Well, I wouldn't say it's wrecked," David interjected as he crossed the room. His brows kit as he too appraised the kitchen island, saving - _saving, oh God, was this conversation still happening?! -_ Emma the need to form a retort. "But if you're that upset about it, I'm sure the dwarves would be happy to take a look. They're pretty good with stone."

"I don't know, David," Mary Margaret said. "It's pretty deep…"

"This box is nothing but leather jackets," Emma said quickly. Shooting Killian a scathing look as he scoffed at her mother's comment. Emma's voice, surprisingly, only a couple octaves too high. "I'll just go put it in the other room."

"Allow me, love," Killian said, gently running his fingers along her arm before he pried the box from her hands. Emma was hit with déjà vu so overwhelmingly that the air was knocked out of her lungs. She felt like she was standing back in the Sheriff's Station, all those weeks ago. Only this time, she felt no need to make a quip about being able to handle it. She meet Killian's eyes and while a salacious grin painted his face, his features were soft. His eyes brimming with an unwavering devotion. _With love._ With a smile, Emma curled her fingers around the charms on his necklace, pulling his lips a hairsbreadth away from her own.

"Thanks," She whispered, watching his Adam's apple bob enticingly, before she gently kissed his cheek, her lips lingering. Her eyes full of promise, as her hand slowly slid down his chest. Hoping that he'd understand her thanks wasn't just for the heavy lifting, but for his support, his friendship, his love. _For always chasing her._

"Anything for you, my love," He replied quietly, and Emma knew he understood. _He always did._ His eyes crinkling as he smiled widely. The happiness he felt seemingly dripping off his body in waves. He lifted the box from the table, and stumbled slightly from the unexpected weight of it. Tipping the box open with his thumb, he raised his brow. "Swan," Killian said, a perplexed look on his face. He shot a furtive glance at her parents before continuing. "You do realize there's nothing but cooking utensils in here?"

"Shut up," Emma said, quickly brushing her lips against his, as she pushed him towards the bedroom. With a chuckle, he dutifully strode down the hall, whistling a tune as he went. Emma watched him retreat before she turned back to face her parents. She sighed, realizing too late that his chivalry had cost her an escape.

"My room's all done," Henry announced, appearing suddenly in the hall. Empty boxes in tow. _Hopefully bringing an end to the damn island scratch debacle._ "And I'm starving. What's for dinner?"

"I seriously doubt you're _starving_ , kid," Emma chided, ruffling his hair. He rolled his eyes at his mother, his teenage attitude in full swing. _Yeah, that was definitely genetic_ , thought Emma as she fought to keep the smile off her face.

"Well, since we've yet to track down the pots and pans," David said, already shrugging into his coat. "How 'bout pizza? Your mom's treat?" He added, his eyes twinkling at Henry's murmurs of contentment and Emma's incredulous look. "You grab the pizza, we'll pick up Neal from Granny's? Meet you at the loft, in say twenty?"

"Sounds good," Emma said. She managed to plant a kiss on Henry despite the mad dash he made for the door. She shook her head over the teen's insatiable metabolism. She pulled each of her parents into a tight hug before they followed Henry out the door, murmuring her thanks for all their help with the move.

"Twenty minutes," Killian said, the words out of his mouth almost as soon as the door hit the frame. "However shall we occupy ourselves, Swan?" His hand and hook suddenly on her hips as he backed her against the table with a deliberate persistence. His hips gently rocking against hers.

"We have to be at my parents' loft in twenty minutes," Emma said, in what she hoped was a firm voice. Her palms rested on his chest, in an attempt to keep him a respectful distance. " _With pizza_. We don't _have much time_ to occupy."

"Come on now, Swan," He asked, his voice gravelly. His hook sliding down her side, sending a small shiver through her. "I had hoped we could christen our new furniture." With that, his lifted her onto the table, stepping firmly between her legs. He slid his arm around her waist, pulling her tightly against him, his mouth doing the most distracting things to her skin.

"All of it? In twenty minutes?" Emma said arching into his touch. She bit her lip to hold back a low moan, as he kissed her collar sloppily. "My, that is auspicious."

"Don't be cheeky, Swan. We'll just make a start," He said, sucking a mark onto her neck. "We'll finish the rest tonight—"

"Killian—"

"Emma, this is, if I am not mistaken, a quiet moment and I _fully_ intend to enjoy it." Killian flashed her a mischievous smirk as he popped the 't' in that way that never failed to make Emma's toes curl.

"I don't think _this_ qualifies as quiet! There's still the little issue of Gold. And Elsa's missing sister," Emma said, her voice coming out in a decidedly more husky tone than she was comfortable with. She held back a groan as his teeth skimmed her pulse. "And the Snow Queen, there's nothing to stop her from coming back—"

"Aye," Killian said, his breath hot against her neck. His stubble tickling as he trailed kisses up her neck to her ear. "All very _pressing_ issues to be sure." He said roughly rocking his hips against hers. The zipper of his denim hitting her exactly where she needed it.

"We're going to be late for pizza," Emma complained, her thoughts murky as he gently trailed his lips along her jaw. His hand slipping beneath her soft cotton t-shirt, tracing slow patterns on her skin.

"Do you want me to stop, Swan?" He whispered, his words tickling the shell of her ear. Emma rolled her eyes before she ran her fingertips along his hook, the metal cool to her touch. With a def flick of her wrist, she twisted his hook off and set it gently on the table.

"What's the matter, Swan," He asked, placing a small kiss below her ear. "I thought you liked the hook?" His hand inching higher along her torso to brush against the lace of her bra.

"Oh, I do, but we are _not_ going to risk scratching this table." Emma said, ignoring his laughter. She twined her arms around Killian's neck, pulling him tightly against her. She sighed as he kissed her, slowly, passionately. She was certain that they would be late for pizza. But she didn't care. She felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be, something she hadn't experienced for a very long time. And that was something she could definitely get used to without even trying.

 

 


End file.
